What are the odds?
by JosephineMichelleC
Summary: Katniss Everdeen gets forced to be more fun by her two best friends Annie Cresta and Madge Undersee. They think she's boring and sits home and read too much. They want to change that, so they book a trip to a party resort in Spain. But what happens when Katniss has a little bit too much fun and kaos breaks loose?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

 _Katniss_

It all started when my two best friends decided that I need to do more fun stuff because apperantly, I'm borning. Well I don't have anything agaisnt being boring, in fact I like being boring. I love to stay home and read on my freetime when I'm not working at the resturaunt. I like just watching tv and just cook simple food. But Annie and Madge doesn't like that at all. Like they are more fun than me! Yeah right, they are _so_ not, even if they would very much like to be.

One day they just came bursting into my apartment screaming that they've booked a one week trip to Magaluf in Spain, which is a party resort. Well the resort is on the island Mallorca, but it's a spanish island, so it's still in Spain. We've just finished college, so they said that they wanted to celebrate that.

Right now the plane lands on the airport. I don't really know how this happened. How the hell could I agree on this? I'm not a party girl, I'm a proud bookworm, I don't belong here, I belong in a book store or something. How did I agree on going here to party?

"That wasn't too bad, was it?" Madge asks happily.

Annie is still holding a tight grip onto the chair with closed eyes. She's afraid of flying. Very afraid. "Speak for yourself!" She hisses.

"Oh come on now, we've landed and we are safe and sound, now let's get off this plane", Madge says and stands up.

Annie and I follow her and we slowly get out of the plane, a lot of people want to get out, so everyone has to walk slowly. You know how it is. We walk to get our suitcases from the walkway. We stand and wait for our bags to arrive. When I see mine I take it, Madge takes her, and Annie tried to get hers, but it was too heavy for her. "Oh no my bag!" She says and tries to go after it.

Someone grabs her bag. A guy with bronze hair. "Here you go my lady", he says and gives it to her.

"T-thanks", she mumbles and takes the bag.

The guy winks at her before he runs off to catch up with his friends who are too far way for us to see more than their silhouettes. Annie walks up to us, all red in her face.

"Olala", Madge teases witha devilish smile. "Even before we've left the airport, you work fast Ann!"

"Shut up Madge!" Annie says embarrassed.

I just laugh, I don't know what else to do. Annie is already too embarrassed, so I'm gonna spare her more, for now that is.

We find our way out of the airport and to the buss that will take us to the hotel.

"I think this is the one", I say.

"Are you sure?" Annie asks.

"Let's just ask the driver", Madge says. "This is a great way to practice my spanish!"

Oh Madge and her spanish. We walk up to the bus driver, I just hope Madge don't offends him in someway.

"Parada del bus en el hotel Hotel Sol Guadalupe?" She asks with a proud undertone of her voice.

Hm... I have no idea if that was right, I can't speak a word spanish more than maybe hola, or cervesa, which I know means beer.

The bus driver chuckles. "Si", he says. "But I can speak english".

"Oh well, excuse our friend", I say embarrassed and push Madge onto the bus.

As we sit on the bus, and wait for the bus to fill, I see that bronze haired guy again. "Oh well look at that Ann", I say devilish.

"Huh?" She asks before she see what my eyes are looking. "Oh shit!"

Annie sinks down in the seat, as she tries to disappear.

"Ann wasn't _that_ the guy who helped you with your bag?" I ask loud to make sure he hears me, which he does becasue he now looks our way.

He sees how I sit at the end and Madge in front of me, and maybe the top of Annie's head as she sinks deeper down.

"Shut up!" She hisses at me.

The bronze haired guy says something to his two friends and then they walk our way.

"Well hello", the guy says.

"Oh shit", Annie says and the guy laughs.

"My we sit... _around_ you?" the guy asks.

"Of course!" Madge says happily.

One of the guys sits down beside her, the tallest of the guys, and the other two sits down behind us.

"So who's hiding?" The bronze haired guy asks.

She has now her hands over her face trying to to hide what she looks like.

"Oh that's Annie", Madge says. "And I'm Madge".

"What's your name?" The guy beside the bronze haired guy asks looking at me.

I look at him and get hit in my face by how hot he is. He has ashy blonde hair, which is stirred in a mess, and the biggest, clearest and bluest eyes I have ever seen in my entire life. "What's yours?" I ask instead of answering him.

"Peeta", he answers. "And that's Finnick, and the one beisde you friend is Gale".

"I'm Katniss", I say.

"That's beautiful", he says.

We lock our eyes on each other for a moment before the sound of a guys voice wakes me up.

"Don't hide little lady", that Finnick guy says to Annie as he picks with his finger on her head.

"Annie come on", I say and shake her arm.

She slowly take her hands away and sits upstraight with the reddest face ever.

"Aahhh there she is", Finnick says and winks at her.

The bus starts driving.

"So which hotel are you staying at?" The Gale guy asks.

"Hotel Sol Guadalupe", Madge asks. "What about you?"

"Same", he says smiling at her.

They look at each other and something is happening in Madge's eyes. What the hell?

Even though this is only one week, it feels like a lot is going to happen.

We are after all in Magaluf.

 **A/N:** _Hey. This is my first fanfiction uploaded here on , I have an account on with the same name, JosephineMichelleC. I really hope you'll like my fanfictions_.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 _Katniss_

Madge can not shut up about Gale when we are in our hotel room. It's getting a bit annoying actually.

As I open my suitcase I feel everything in my head spinning. "What the hell is this? This is _not_ the clothes I packed!" I shout through the room and march towards the bathroom where Annie and Madge are.

"Oh yeah, about that... We threw out your clothes and bought you new once", Madge says. "You can't keep dressing yourself like that".

"And I'm suppose to dress like _this_?!" I explode holding up a pair of tight mini shorts and a green tank top.

"Exactly!" Madge says.

"It's not me! It's you two!" I say trying to keep my anger under control.

"It's yours as well, you just don't know it yet, now you can show up your beautiful perfect body, and not hide it in your boys shirts and basketball shorts", Annie says.

"Excuse me what? Did I just hear you diss my clothes?" I ask.

They just laugh and I can't hold myself from laughing either, even though I'm actually really angry. They had no right to so this without asking me. If I don't use this clothes, I don't have any clothes at all. But... Oh nooo... I sprint back to my suitcase to look for my bathing suits but I can't find any. Oh fuck! What I _do_ find is minimal neon green, red, pink, purple and orange bikinis. What the fuck?! I never use bikinis, I always only use bathing suits.

My legs fail to hold me up and I sink down onto the floor on my knees as I feel the anger come back. I hate this. I don't like to show other people my body. They have nothing to do with my body and what it looks like. It's _my_ body, isn't it? Why should other people see it? That's why I'm comfortable in bathing suits, and not bikinis. What am I gonna do now? "Uuuggh", I shout, l and throw back the bikinis in the suitcase.

"Oh come ooooon, don't be so _dramatic_ ", Madge says as she walks into the room and grabs her red towel. "Come on, we're going to the pool".

"I can't go to the pool, are you crazy?" I ask.

"It's not like you're going naked, you have bikinis", she says.

"Which is basically standing in bra and panties, and that's basically naked, I don't like that, why couldn't you let me keep my bathing suits?" I ask.

"Because old people and children uses bathing suits, and competitive swimmers like Annie, not people like you and I", Madge says.

Yeah, Annie uses them during practice and competitions, but not like this, now she's also wearing a bikini as she walks out if the bathroom and grabs her pink towel. I realize that I have no other option than to use one of the bikinis. I choose the green one because green is my absolute favorite color in the world. Maybe it's silly to have a favorite color, but I don't care, green is my favorite.

I sigh as I pick it up and walk to the bathroom. I strip out of my clothes and put on the bikini which fits perfectly onto my body. I walk out very uncomfortable while frowning.

"Perfect!" Annie and Madge says.

"You're kidding right?" I ask in disbelief.

"No, now you can see your slim but fit body and your beautiful bellybutton piercing", Annie says.

Ugh. Yeah exactly why I have one I don't really get. It was my first and only stupid decision in high school. I was tired of being called a geek, so I got a bellybutton piercing. Now the reasons just feel stupid, even though it really _is_ cute.

"Whatever", I mumble as I pick up my green towel from my suitcase.

Madge jumps up from the couch and shouts. "Yay! Now off we go to the pool!"

I sigh.

 _Yay_ , I think sarcastically.

We walk out to the pool area and find us three sun chairs and put our towels on them before laying down.

"Oh but look who we've got _here_ ", a new but familiar voice says devilish.

Oh no.

I look up and see the three boys from the bus, Finnick, Gale and Peeta, walk towards us.

Madge and Annie shots up from the chairs and starts blinking.

Oh god, this is not going to end well.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 _Katniss_

"Hey guys", Madge says casually.

"Hey girls, how come we meet you again? Has to be the destiny", Finnick says.

"Or the simple fact that we live at the same _hotel_ ", I mutter from my sun chair, facing the sky.

If I looked and Madge and Annie now, I know that they would give me the evil eye.

"Well someone's cranky", Gale laughs.

"Don't mind her, she's always like that", Annie giggles. "But she's actually really funny".

"Yeah I can tell", Finnick says. "And she really shines with joy".

"It's nothing personal", I say like I'm a part of their conversation. "I just don't like you very much".

"Ouch!" Finnick, Gale and Peeta says at the same time.

"No _really_ it's nothing personal, she's just not a people person", Madge says.

"Well she's friends with you", Gale points out.

"Yeah well we forced her to be in the beginning, we all three met in high school and she tried to get rid of us and everything, but we didn't let her", Annie says.

That's true. We all three ended up in the same home room, they started talking and then they started talking to me, although it took about six months for me to actually be friends with them.

"Really?" Finnick asks.

"Yeah", I say.

They're quiet for a while. I feel how someone sit down on my chair by my legs. I look at who it is. Peeta. "What are you doing?" I ask. I don't like the fact that he's sitting on my chair.

"Sitting, what are _you_ doing?" He asks.

I give him a death glare. Does he think he's smart or something.

"Well sit somewhere else", I say.

"Nah I'm good here", Peeta says nodding.

I groan and lay down my head again. He starts tickling my foot. I sit up now. "Why do you have to be so annoying? Go jump in the pool or something!" I say irritated.

"What an excellent idea", Peeta says as he takes off my sunglasses.

Wait what?

The next second he carries me up in his arms and runs towards the pool.

"You would't dare!" I shout.

"Wanna bet?" He says mockingly.

"I warn you! I will..."

 _Splash!_ Both of us are now it the water.

I hear Annie and Madge laughing. I mentally curse them and the guys.

I feel the panic start growing inside of me as I touch the water. Get me up! Get me up! _Get me up!_

Here I am with a stranger that just now jumped in the pool with me in his arms. I don't even know him or his friends. They sure aren't shy, but what if they're axe murderers or pimps, or ... Yeah okay, I'm probably exaggerating a bit... Okay a lot. They are probably just guys our age, out on a vacation to have fun after collage or something. But still! I don't know them!

Now everyone but me are laughing. I see nothing funny in this. "It is _not_ funny!" I hiss through the panic as I help myself out of the pool since no one else helps me.

"Oh come on! It _was_ funny!" Madge says.

"No!" I insist. I do not think its funny. She knows me, she knows I hate meeting knew people, and then someone I don't know throws me into water when I don't even like water! I hate being surrounded by water. Sure I can lie down on a sun chair, but I do not swim! "I hate you, I hate all olf you!" I'm now shaking.

Annie has stopped laughing.

"Oh god, I totally forgot", she says, suddenly worried. "Are you okay?"

"No! What do you think?" I almost shout as I continue shake.

"I forgot too, I'm so sorry Kat", Madge says as she realize.

"Did we miss something?" Finnick asks.

"Katniss is _terrified_ of water", Annie says.

"Why?" Gale asks.

"None of your business!" I hiss as I take my stuff and walk away.

I hear running steps behind me.

"Katniss?" I hear. Peeta. Hasn't he caused enough trouble already? "Please stop". But I don't. I keep walking. Peeta catches up to me though and forces me to stop. "I didn't know", he says remorsefully. "Please forgive me".

"No", I mumble, looking down as I try not to think of why I'm terrified of water.

He puts his hand under my chin and lifts my head.

"Please forgive me, I'm actually a pretty kind guy, although I can be a jerk sometimes", he says.

"Obviously", I mumble. "But I don't know you, so I can't forgive you".

"So you should get to know me", he says and reaches me his hand. "Hello, I'm Peeta Mellark".

I look at him. I hesitate. But he looks at me with his big big intense blue eyes that I give in. I take his hand.

"Katniss Everdeen".


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

 _Katniss_

Peeta insisted on buying me water. I tried to decline, but we wouldn't give up. So now I'm sitting here, by the pool bar. I tried to buy fries, but Peeta bought them instead with a big bottle of water.

I eat fries with mayonnaise. It's super good, better than ketchup. Peeta looks at me while I eat some fries.

"Why are you looking at me?" I ask uncomfortable.

"No reason angry girl", he says.

I roll my eyes and he chuckles. God this boy is really getting on my nerves. "Whatever", I mumble.

"So you say your name is Katniss Everdeen", Peeta says and steal one of my fries.

"So?" I ask and smack his hand away when he tries to get another.

"Ow", he laughs. "And who _is_ Katniss Everdeen?"

"What? Are you maybe getting too much sun?" I snap.

"Oh no, this is me, trying to get to know you", Peeta says. "A complete stranger who I don't know, I'm trying to get to know, and if I'm gonna do that, I'm gonna need your help with it".

I try my hardest not to laugh. I'm supposed to not like this guy, because I don't know him. And yet, he is pretty funny and I want to laugh, but I won't let myself do that. "Okay guess who I am", I say. "Five things".

Peeta raises his eyebrow.

"Okay... You are a girl, your name is Katniss, your hair is dark, you have beautiful eyes and a perfect none-smile", he says.

Okay now I don't know if he's just mocking me or not.

I sigh. Peeta laughs.

"How could I possibly know anything about you when we met a day ago?" He asks.

"And that's the thing", I say. "We did meet a day ago, which is why I am not going to tell you anything about myself because that's not what I do, hell I don't even tell people I do know about myself, except my sister, Annie and Madge".

"Aha!" Peeta says winning. "Now I know you have a sister! One step closer already!"

I... Ugh damn! He's freaking sneaky!

"What's her name?" He asks.

"Oh no, I'm not telling you, you sneaky fox", I hiss.

"Oooo so now I'm a fox?" He asks liking.

I sigh again. Has this guy been taking something or what?

"Are you on something?" I ask.

"No I'm just generally happy now when I'm 1000 miles or I hope much more, away from home", he says.

Well that sounded weird. Why would he be this happy to be away from home.

This guy is a mystery.

"Huh?"

Suddenly he looks alarmed and he's happy face disappears. Now he's face is straight and focused.

"Oh nothing, just forget it", he says. "How's the fries?"

I raise my eyebrow. "They're fine", I say. But I don't think _he_ is.

Just as I'm about to say something I hear people shouting.

"Katniss!" I girl shout.

"Peeta!" A boy shouts.

Annie and Finnick. I turn around and see them running toward us. "Come on don't hide here!" Annie says, takes my hand and drags me off the chair.

I grab my water bottle the second before Annie drags me away running.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 _Katniss_

It's the last day here in Magaluf, and even though I was a little ... okay well _very_ critical over this trip, it turned out to be fun. They guys aren't so bad after all. Peeta is different from other boys I've met. It starts to tickle in my stomach when I am around him.

Right now where at a club, driking and partying, we haven't been doing much of that, but since it's our last night we wanted to party. I've never been driking as much as I drink now, I feel how I am starting to feel drunk. But I'm not the only one. Madge is in a corner, making out with Gale, both drunk. Annie and Finnick are making out right beside me at the bar, both also _very_ drunk and Peeta... Well to be honest, I've lost him, but last time I saw him he was also very drunk.

I ditch Annie and Finnick, I don't want to watch them love each other when no one loves me. I walk out on the dancefloor and start doing a crazy dance.

"Wohoo", I shout as I throw up my arms in the air and continue to dance.

"Wow come on tiger!" Someone shouts.

I don't know who that was and how silly that sounded, I only dance even more, I try to imitate a stripper without the pole. From the shouts I guess I'm doing a good job.

But then I stop dancing when I see something. I see Peeta. But he's not alone. A girl is clinging onto him and suddenly I feel anger start to boil inside of me.

"Dance!" Someone shouts.

But no. Now I have another drunk mission. To get that clingy girl off of my Peeta! I strom off the dance floor and marsh drunkly right up to them.

"Hey you slut! Get off him!" I shout and pull her away from Peeta.

"Who are you to...?" She starts drunkly but I interrupt her.

"I'm a very drunk girl who gets jealous when you're clinging onto her friend", I say angry. What the hell did I just say? I must be drunker than I thought. Oh I'm gonna feel sick tomorrow.

I push the girl away and then turn to Peeta. He looks very drunk and confused. I jump up into his arms and lock my legs around his waist. He stumbles forward and my back gets leaned up by the wall. I crash my lips onto his. They taste like vodka. I kiss him agressivly and he kisses me back with the same kind of aggressiveness. My hands travel up to his head and my fingers starts playing with his hair. I pull his hair and he moans.

Oh god, hearing that moan turns me on. Now I'm wet and want him in the bed right now. I jump down from him, take his hand and run with him out of the bar and back to the hotel. Once there, we go to his room and he drunkly looks for his key and when he gets it up he opens the door and take out the key.

I push him into the room and push him onto the bed. I sit onto his lap and lock my legs around his waist as I crash my lips onto his and he falls with his back onto the bed. His hands sneak under my shirt and and caress my back. He takes the shirt off me and throws it away. I take off his shirt and throw it away. I start kissing his neck and he starts moaning. I kiss down onto his collar bone, down to his chest, even further down to his stomach and then up again to kiss his neck and then his lips. As I kiss his lips, my hands starts to fiddle with his jeans. I get them down and take them off him and throw them somewhere. He takes off my skirt and throws it over my head.

He flips me onto my back so he's over me and my hands starts to caress his back. He takes off my panties as he continues to kiss me. He kisses my neck and then down onto my collar bone and then between my breasts, down onto my stomach and then he kisses my inner thigh. Okay now he's just teasing me.

I take off my bra and basically rips his boxers off before I take him and places him over me. He places his penis before he starts to push it into my entrance. My moaning goes crazy, and so does his. The rest of the night becomes a complete blur.

* * *

I wake up with the sun in my eyes. I feel very sick.

I hear someone stirr beside me and get scared. What the hell? I look at the person and see Peeta. What? What the hell? What did we do? Then I notice that I don't have any clothes on me ... And neither does Peeta.

Oh god, please no. Please don't tell me I had sex with Peeta?

I can't remember last night. I was so drunk, I can't remember. But it can't be more obvious, we're both lying naked in what I think is Peeta's hotel room. It's not like we played cards or something. Then I notice how our clothes is lying around in the room in mess. Oh no!

Oh god, how could I be so stupid? Suddenly I feel something wanting to get out of my throat. I get out of the bed and run to the bathrom with my hand over my mouth.

I throw myself over the toilet and throw up into it. After I'm done, I wash my stinking mouth.

I take a towel to cover myself up before I walk out again.

Peeta is now awake, standing up beside the bed and looks confused at all the clothes lying around, as he pulls his boxers up.

He discovers me.

"What the hell did we do?" He asks confused.

"I think you know the answer", I say.

"But... Oh no", he says. "I didn't want to just have sex with you because we were drunk, I wanted to... Ugh never mind, I... Wait hold on a second, you _are_ on birth control right?"

I freeze to the floor. I'm _not_ on birth control. I've never had a reason to be on birth control since guys has never showed interest in me. But if I tell him I'm not, he's just gonna freak out and I'm sure everything is just fine. "Of course I am", I say and smile. It's the first time I smile at him ever.

He walks up to me.

"You know you have a beautiful smile right?" He asks.

"Tssss in your dreams, you've already hooked up with me, you don't have to say that stuff", I mumble.

"What makes you think I'm one of those guys?" Peeta asks in a voice that tells me I've hurt him.

"Doesn't matter", I mumble. "I need to get back to my room now".

I collect my clothes and walk to the door.

"But Katniss..." Is the last thing I hear before I shut the door between us.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

 _Katniss_

Turns out that the boys also live in Panem. They told us when we arrived at the airport. That's crazy, I mean what are the odds to meet three guys in our age.

When they told us, it hit me. They went to the same high school as us. I asked them about it and yeah, they did, but they were the _popular guys_ , I was an outsider, a loner, a nerd, a bookworm with two nagging very good best friends. They became outsiders when they became friends with me, but they told me that they didn't care. Peeta, Finnick and Gale was way out of reach for us, they sure as hell could not have noticed us at all. I was too afraid to ask, and I think Annie and Madge was as well because they never asked.

I feel so stupid for getting drunk and sleep with Peeta. I'm sure he has a girlfriend or something, but if so he would't have sex with me, would he? He doesn't seem to be that kind of a guy, but I sure thought he was in high school.

Now when I know who he is, the memories just comes back to me, crushing me, leaving me no room to breathe. I was such a loser, and he was hot. How could he have sex with me even if he was drunk? I mean I'm still the same girl I was before... Or I thought I was anyways. I guess I'm not. The old Katniss would never get drunk and have sex with people. I don't know what's wrong with me.

"Katniss you okay?" I hear the voice of my little sister.

"What?" I ask looking up from my plate.

We're sitting by the kitchen island, eating breakfast at the moment.

"Are you okay?" She asks again.

My sister. Primrose Everdeen, or Prim as she prefers to be called or little duck as I call her but she doesn't like it. She's sixteen years old, she lives with me because our parents are dead. They died in a bank robbery. Our uncle Haymitch comes and stays with us sometimes, but he usually sleeps at his bar, he owns a bar, called 'Abernathy's finest drinks'. He has custody over Prim. He had over me as well before I turned eithteen, and now I'm twenty.

"Why do you ask?" I say looking at my sister.

"Well first of all you haven't picked up one book since you got home, not even looked at the bookshelf", she says. "And second of all, you're very quiet".

What am I suppose to say? _Well little duck, you know I became a slut on the trip_. Ugh I used to hate those girls who had one night stands, but now I'm one of them? Ugh, I always used to think that sex is something more than just sex. Sex is something you share with the one you love and want to be a part of. Sex is _love_. I know it's not like that for everyone, and no those girls are not sluts, but now I see myself as one. "Oh, well I'm good", I say. "How are you little duck?"

Prim rolls her eyes and shakes her head at the nickname.

"I'm great actually, I was going to ask you something", she says.

"Oh you were?" I ask.

"Yeah, is it okay... I mean ... Can I go on a date this Saturday?"

Excuse me what?

"A date?" I ask startled and drop my fork.

"Yeah", she says and get red cheeks. "This really, really cute guy in school that I've had a crush on since forever asked me out".

"Who?" I ask, not knowing about this crush of hers. "Why have I never heard of a crush?"

"Beacuse to be honest, you've always been kinda rude to people and pretty prude", Prim says. "No offense though, I love you".

 _Well I'm sure as hell is not prude now_ , I think sarcastically. "None taken", I sight and take up my water glas. "I guess you're right, who is he?"

"Rory Hawthorne", Prim mumbles.

I choke on my water and starts coughing. What?!

"Wait what?" I ask.

"I know, I know, but please let me go out with him", Prim begs.

Gale's little brother? I didn't even know he had a brother but the last name says it all.

"Oh I don't know Prim", I say hasitating, but Prim looks at me with really sad puppy eyes.

"Pleaseee?"

I want nothing else than to forget this trip ever happened, but they live in Panem so that's impossible. Madge and Annie are going to want to see the guys, so I don't have a reason to not let Prim go out with this boy.

"Oh okay", I say.

"YEY!" Prim shouts and hugs me. "Thank you thank you thank you!"

"But if he hurts you, I'll break him", I say.

Prim giggles. "I know", she says and runs out of the kitchen.

She really is growing up. Just a minute ago she was this little girl, afraid to fall asleep and always wanting me to sing to her at the nights. Now she's big enough to go on dates. Where does time go?

I put the dishes into the dishwasher and turn it on. Just as I'm about to put the juice back into the fridge, I feel something wanting to come out of my throat. I hit my hand over my mouth and run to the bathroom. Just as I lean over the toilet I explode into it. I hold back my hair so it won't come into the way of the puke.

When I'm done I walk up to the sink and wash my mouth. I also brush my teeth. What the hell did I eat? I must have eaten something old. Did Prim do that as well?

"Prim?" I say as I walk out of the bathroom.

"Yeah?" She asks, peeking out of her room.

"You feel fine?" I ask.

"Yeah?" She asks suspiciously. "Why?"

Hm...?

"Oh nothing", I say and walk into the kitchen.

I walk up to the fridge and check everything. Everything is fine. Nothing is expired. Oh well. I walk into my room and change into clothes, apply some makeup and brush my hair. When I walk out, Prim stands in the living room. When she sees me she raises one eyebrow. "Don't say it", I say. "Madge and Annie changed my whole closet".

"Finally! I love them!" She says.

My mouth falls open. What? "You traitor!" I accuse her.

"Pfftt", she says.

The door opens and none other than Annie and Madge comes in. They're the only one who can just walk in, and Haymitch, they are the only once who have keys, besides Prim and I.

"Ahh it's _so_ good to see our masterpiece", Madge says looking at me and my clothes.

"Shut up!" I say.

"Come on, we're meeting the guys", Annie says.

"What guys?" Prim asks.

Ugh. Now I have to tell her. So I tell her everything but not the part with me and Peeta having sex. I didn't even tell Annie and Madge and I sure hope Peeta didn't tell Finnick and Gale. I'm gonna be beyond mad if he did. And of course now Prim knows why I reacted like I did when she told me about Rory. Madge got so exited when Prim told her about Rory.

"Do you want us to take you to school?" I ask.

"No, Rue is picking me up, she got a new car", Prim says. "It's _really_ nice".

"Okay, well call me after school so I know when you'll be home or if you're going somewhere", I add the last part because I have to remind myself that Prim is not like I was in high school, who just went to school and straight home to study or read books. Prim actually lives and has a life.

"Of course", she says as her phone vibrates. "She's here, bye you guys".

"Bye little duck", I say and kiss her forehead.

"Bye baby", Annie says and hugs her tight.

"Bye Primmy", Madge says and hugs her.

As Prim rolls her eyes at the three nicknames she walks out of the apartment.

"She really is growing up", Annie says.

"Tell me about it, remember when she always wanted me to sing for her before she went to sleep?" I ask.

"Yeah", Madge says. "Anyway let's go".

"Where?" I ask.

"To meet the guys", Annie says.

"I know but _where_?" I ask.

"The mall", Madge says.

So they drag me all the way to the mall. I'm not a shopping girl, so I'm not there unless these two forces me there. Couldn't we meet the guys at a better place? I mean why the mall of all places ugh.

As we walk through the mall I spot blonde, bronze and brown haired guys. Okay her we go again.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

 _Peeta_

"Here they come", Finnick says and as I turn around I see the girls come walking towards us.

Katniss is so beautiul I forget to breathe for a second. She has a green crop top and an orange short fluttery skirt that dances around her thighs as she walks, her hair is straight down over her shoulders and her eyes sparkles in the light. How can anyone be this beautiful?

She has always been beautiful, I've always thought so. The second we met the girls in Spain, we recognized them directly. They are the same beautiful girls as they were in high school. They didn't really talk to people. I tried to talk to Katniss once, she thought that I was going to flush her head in the toilet, she started to beg me not to, so I figured maybe I should just leave her alone, and not complicate her life. Right at that moment, I realized how messed up high school is, with the popular kids for themselves, the nerds, the weird kids, the outsiders, the jokers... The kids create this themselves, but I've never undertsood why. The kids at school just decided that Katniss was an outsider and just behaved like she was, so she became one. Just because she was different and they didn't even give her a chance. I remember her from elementery school, she was a happy girl, then one day everything changed, I still don't know what, and it has noting to do with me. Madge and Annie was the only once who stood up for her, but they became outsiders as well just becase the kids at school thought they were weird for wanting to be friends with Katniss. I wish I had done something about it. Oh I just want to get a new start with her. And I know that having sex with her when we both were very drunk maybe wasn't the best way, but I didn't know what I was doing. First some random girl starts clinging on me, and the next thing I know Katniss pulls her away and throws herself over me. I know that it was the alcohol, but I really liked kissing her. "How beautiful", I mumble.

"Ooooo", I hear Madge voice shouts.

Wait are they here?

It feels like I've just woken up. Now I see that the girls are right in front of us. Katniss face is red like a tomato and I feel my face heat up as well. I look away.

"Hey", I whisper.

"Hi", Katniss says.

It's quiet for a while, and it starts to feel awkward.

"Okay, to break the awkward silence", Finnick says. "I think we just should get going".

"Where to?" Katniss asks.

Finnick shrugs.

"Just somewhere else", he says and takes Annie's hands.

We just walk around in the mall. Then we just take seats at a café. We order coffee and something sweet to eat. We talk for a while, it's not awkward anymore, and that feels really good.

"You know I miss your braces", Finnick says to Annie.

She raises an eyebrow, and gives him a look. "And how do you know I had braces?"

I figure that Finnick is gonna make us look really bad with his answer, so right before he has time to answer, I answer for him. "Yeah you know the year book, everyone smiles and those who have braces can't really hide it when they smile so big", I say.

Annie giggles. I don't know what Finnick was about to say, but I guess it was something stupid because he looks startled and somewhat grateful at me.

Katniss looks a bit distant.

"Has something happened?" I ask her.

"What?" She asks, looking at me.

"You just seem so distant, is something wrong?" I ask.

"Oh..." she says. "Noo, it's just, my sister is going on her first date now on Satrurday".

"Really? My brother is going on his first..." Gale stops talking when Katniss looks at him and nods.

"Wait, Prim is _your_ sister?" He asks.

She nods.

By the look on her face, she doesn't like that Gale know who her sister is. She really is very private about her life and really don't like it when people finds out things about her. She has to be a very protective sister.

My brothers are protective over me, they try to protect me from our mother. I may not live at home anymore, as soon as I got the chance I ran for the door, but I still have to work in my fathers bakery, and she's also there. She hits me everyday, I've got so many bruises all over my body. I hide them pretty good, but it's still so embarressing.

I guess I understand Katniss, that she doesn't want to talk about her personal life, I don't either. That's why I don't pressure her to tell me anything, and that's why I understand how she feels. I know what she thinks of me, she thinks I'm a player that has sex with every girl I come across if I'm drunk. I didn't really give her a good impression when I had sex with her when we both were drunk.

I feel so ashamed over myself for doing that. I should have controlled myself better. But Katniss was just so beautiful and so hot, and she started to kiss me. And I know that it was only because she was drunk and I don't mean anything to her, but I loved kissing her, feeling her lips against mine, feeling her body againt my body. Feel her warmth and her tenderness. That's why I lost control over myself.

I need to apologize to her. I haven't told either Finnick or Gale because that's none of their business no matter how close friends we are. Somethings are just too privet and too intimate to tell each other if someone else is involved. In this case Katniss.

"Katniss can I speak to you? Like, alone?" I ask.

She looks at me and nods. I stand up and so does she.

"Where are you going?" Gale asks.

"Nowhere, we're coming back soon", I say.

They shrug and grins grows on all four faces. I roll my eyes and just walk away, with Katniss following after me.

We walk quiet for a while before I turn to her. "I'm sorry", I say.

"About what?" She asks startled.

About what? She knows about what, she's just being kind. That's all.

"About what happened", I say. "That we..."

"That we had sex? It wasn't your fault you know", she says.

"Katniss..." I say and cross my arms over my chest, being totally serious.

"Peeta..." she says, mocking me as she also cross her arms over her chest.

I can't stop a chuckle from coming out of my mouth. She looks at me and smiles with her head tilted on one side.

"But seriously, I'm so sorry about that", I say.

"But seriously, _I'm_ so sorry about that", she says, but she doesn't use a mockingly voice anymore.

"Huh?" I ask surprised.

"It's my fault we ended up where we did", she says and continues to walk.

I walk up beside her, all confused.

"How's it your fault?" I ask as we continue to walk.

"Let's see... I was the one coming up to you and started to kiss you, I'm the one that took us to the hotel and basically forced you to have sex with me", she says.

Okay she was going too far with that last part. "Okay the first two things may be right, but that last part was not, I could have said no, but I didn't because I wanted to do what we did, but maybe not under does circumstances", I say. "I'm not that kinda' guy, I never was".

"I'm not that kind of girl either, but maybe that's why it happened", Katniss says.

"Maybe", I mumble.

I walk in front of her and stop her.

"Can't we just start over?" I ask. " _Again_ ".

I add the last part because I remember that we did start over once before after I stupidly jumped with her into the water in the pool when we were at the hotel. I asked her if we could start over. So now would be the second time.

She looks at me and smiles again. She giggles at the end of what I said, I guess she remembers as well. I mean why wouldn't she, I traumatized her for life for being so stupid.

"I'd like that", she says.

"Really?" I ask.

She don't answer me. The only thing she does is to put her arms around my neck and put her lips onto mine.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

 _Katniss_

Peeta and I decided to start over. Again. He is actually pretty amazing to tell you the truth. He's very understaning, and that's the one things I really want in a guy.

Prim hasn't met him yet, and she says that she's longing so to meet him. I was a bit hesitant at first, but then I figured that I can let them meet. Peeta hasn't asked to meet Prim, maybe because he knows that I'm protectve over her and I will decide when they meet. I told Peeta that Prim wanted to meet him and that he could come over to dinner, only if he was prepared to be food poisned becasue I suck at cooking. Prim is used to it, but Peeta, well if he taste my food, I'm sure he's running for the door. But, then he told me that we can cook together, because he's actually pretty good, he said.

So tonight, Peeta's coming over and the three of us will cook together. I'm in my room at the moment, picking out a dress to wear tonight. Prim comes in and sits on the bed, looking at me while I brush my hair and apply makeup.

"You're beautiful", she says.

" _You're_ beautiful", I tell her.

"Rory tells me that too", she smiles shyly.

Yeah, Rory and Prim are now together. Their first date went really well, and now Prim is head over heel for Rory, and same goes for him over Prim. Everytime I see them together they are both love drunk, can't keep their eyes or hands off each other. And that makes me really nervous. Prim can not do things she's gonna regret later on.

"Prim... You're..." I don't know how to say this to her wihout being too protective again.

"What?" She asks.

"Please just don't have sex yet, please please don't, you'll only regret it, you're too young", I say.

She giggles.

"Oh don't worry, both Rory and I have decided to wait until we're both completely ready", she says and I sigh out in relief.

"Thank god", I mumble quitley.

"Huh?" Prim asks.

"Oh nothing little duck", I say as I put the dress on me.

I look in the mirror and sigh at what I see. I really don't like it.

Prim comes up and stay beside me.

"I heard that", she says. "Don't. You are truly beautiful Katniss, I wish I looked like you".

I turn to her.

"No, I wish _I_ looked like _you_ little duck", I say and pull her into a hug.

I would do anything for Prim. She's my whole life, she's the only family I have left, or well uncle Haymitch as well, but he can manage on his own. Or... Well everyone needs someone, he only has Prim and I, so, yeah I guess I love him too, but our relationship is special. Prim is he's little baby girl, and I'm his pain in the ass even though he loves me too. Yeah we get on each other's nerves _all the time_.

The doorbell rings and Prim starts to jump.

"Finally!" She shouts.

"Take it easy Primmy", I laugh as I walk to open the door.

Prim walks into the kitchen as I walk up to the door. I open it, and find Peeta stand there with beautiful flowers in his hands. Primroses to be exact.

I smile big when I see the flowers.

"Peeta..." I smile. "She's gonna love them".

"I hope so, I want her to like me", he says smiling as I step away to let him come in.

"She will", I say. I put my arms around his neck and lean in. "How can she not like you?" I ask, brushing my lips against his. "I mean, I did, and it's very rare, so you should feel very special".

Peeta chuckles. I kiss him.

We haven't had sex again. I feel like we maybe should wait until we know everything about each other. Okay well no, Peeta wanted that, but it sounds better if I say it was my idea, even though it really wasn't.

I take Peeta's hand and lead him into the kitchen where Prim is taking out chicken from the fridge and put it on the kitchen island. "Prim, this is Peeta, Peeta this is Prim", I say introducing them.

Peeta gives Prim the flowers. She shines like the sun. "I think I like you already", she says happily and takes the flowers she's named after in her hands.

Peeta looks at me and smiles like the happiest man ever. Oh that's so cute.

"So you said you can cook?" I ask.

He nods. "Yeah, my father taught me", he says.

Yeah Peeta's family owns a bakery, that's pretty much all he has ever told me about his family, and that he has two older brothers, one who's twenty five, married with a daugher who's two, and the other brother is twenty three and newly engaged. He has never talked about his mother, not a single word actually. I wonder why. "Oh", I say.

"Yeah Katniss is awful at cooking", Prim says. "Her food always taste so _weird_ ".

"Yeah I love you too baby sis", I say and Peeta laughs.

"Well I'm here to save you both", he says and takes off his sweatshirt.

Under it he has a white T-shirt that is forming after his very hot and beautifully muscular upper body. But I notice something below his neck. It's just a little something that sticks up from under his collar. I think it's a bruise, it's purpule and blue.

Peeta walks up to the stove. "Do you have a pot?" He asks.

"Of course", I say as I'm pulled out of my thoughts and walk up to take out a pot.

"Curry?" He asks.

"Yes", I say and take it out.

He asks for more stuff and I take out them all.

"What are we gonna make?" Prim asks.

"Chicken curry stew with rice", Peeta says.

"My favourite", Prim shouts and jump up and down.

Okay I know she's sixteen and all, but sometimes you can think that she's six.

Peeta tells us what to do, but he makes the stew. I cook the rice, I guess that's the only thing I can do, so that fits perfectly for me. Prim and I have so much fun cooking with Peeta. Prim is concentrated and takes in everything Peeta says about the meal and how to do it for the perfect taste. She loves cooking.

When we're finally done it smells like heaven in the apartment. When the food get in touch with my mouth I can't stop a low moan from coming out. "My gooood, this is some good food!" I exclaim.

Peeta tries not to laugh so some strange sound comes out of his mouth instead.

I eat so much. I eat even more then I ever have eaten before. I don't even know why I eat this much. I've never eaten this much before, I don't know what's happened to me. At first I feel sick to my stomach and go to throw up, after that I feel fine and eat like I've never eaten anything before. I just want to stop eat this much. Why am I eating this much?

After dinner, Prim runs into her room to get some of her paintings, or well they're not very good, I don't know if you can even call them paintings. But she's proud over them so I just tell her they're beautiful.

The reason why she does this is because Peeta let out his little secret to us during dinner, which is that he is a painter. Not a famous one, he's a teacher in lower school, he teaches art. Surprise.

This guy just became more and more wonderful to me. It feels like he's too good for me.

So, this is the question I now have started to ask myself... Why does he like me?


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

 _Peeta_

I really enjoy spending time with Katniss. This second time we started over seems to be going better for me. I think she likes me now. She has to if she kisses me as much as so does when we're together. We're boyfriend and girlfriend now. That's what I've dreamed for since high school, but I never thought it could be real. She always seemed to be so far from my reach, that she could never like me. Because what do I have to offer her? I'm only a bakers son who is going to take over a bakery after his father. But somehow she still chose to give me chances I never thought she would give me.

"What are you smiling at?" I hear my brothers voice.

"Huh?" I ask looking up at my middle brother Damian.

"You're smiling like a goof", he says.

We're at the bakery and I'm behind the counter at the moment. My other brother, the oldest one, Adam comes out of the kitchen, carrying a cake I baked earlier today. "So I see you've stopped dreaming now", he laughs as he walks up to the window and puts the cake there.

"Yeah now he's awake", Damian says.

"Shut up jerks", I hiss.

Adam is twenty five. He's married to Victoria and has a two year old daughter named Tiara. Damian is twenty three and engaged with Katie who is pregnant in the fifth month. They're getting married next week.

My brothers... What can I say about them? They're blonde with blue eyes like me. They're older than me. I'm their baby brother and they never let me forget it. They love to tease me and when I say love it, that's an understatement. It's their life to tease me. But when it really counts, I know I can count on them. They're always there for me when I need them.

"How's it going with that alien?" Damian asks.

"What?" I hiss looking at him as I close the cashier.

"Yeah I mean it has to be an alien if she like _you_ ", Damian says teasingly.

Did he just call Katniss an alien?

"Take that back!" I say angrily. "Katniss is _not_ an alien, she's a beautiful _angel_!"

"So when can we meet this beautiful angel of yours?" Adam asks teasingly and makes a kiss face.

"I don't know, I'm afraid to let you two fools meet her", I say.

"Whaaaaaat?" Damian says and puts his hand to his heart and looks fake offended. "That hurt me Peeta, that hurt me deeply".

"Yeah go and cry me a river will yah", I mutter.

Right then the kitchen door opens and our witch comes out. She's holding her rolling pin in her hand. Okay she's our mother but she might as well could be a witch. She's the most awful human being on planet earth.

"What makes you think you can stand here and talk you useless piece of shit?" She yells at me and throws a punch in my face with the rolling pin.

The pain is blinding me for a second but I'm used to it. This is the story of my life. I get abused by my mother daily.

"Mom!" Adam says.

"Get away from him!" Damian says and runs up to stand between our witch and I.

"Don't you dare get in the middle of this", mom says and slaps Damien across his cheek.

Note hand and not rolling pin. Our mother don't usually hit Adam and Damien because she doesn't hate them as she hates me. She doesn't hate them at all actually, she just gets mad when they try to stop her from abusing me with that rolling pin or spoons and god knows what else.

"Enough!" Our father comes out of the kitchen.

"Ursula! Home! Now!" He says.

"How dare you..."

"Or else I will call the police you hear?" He says.

But he won't do that. It's just a threat. He has threatened with it before, but he has never actually done it. Only my mother don't want to take the risk. She gives our father the evil eye before she storms out of the bakery, still with her apron on and rolling pin in her hand.

I put three fingers on my jaw. It feels like it's broken. One time it actually did break, but it hasn't now. I feel a difference. But oh it hurts so much.

"Peeta how..." Adam starts.

"Just don't", I say. "I'm used to it, you are used to it, don't say anything about it".

We are all used to this. I've grown up with my mother abusing me. Dad is trying to stop her but it's just impossible. She's a monster and won't ever stop. She says I took away all her joy in life. I've tried not to listen to her. It's easier now, not easy but easier, then when I was younger. The only thing keeping me sane was my father and brothers. If I hadn't had them, I would be dead by now. Mom would have killed me for sure.

They all look at me. The door opens and Tiara comes running in with her mother coming after her. "Pweeta!" Tiara shouts and throw her onto my legs.

Victoria walks up to Adam and he kisses her quickly, he's heart not really into it at the moment.

I pick up Tiara in my arms. I can see at Victoria that she senses that something is wrong.

"What's wro... Oh", she says as she sees the bruise that is starting to show on my jaw.

"Victoria can you help me to cover it with makeup?" I ask.

Damian raises one eyebrow and I can see that he really has a hard time to not mock what I just said.

"I'm meeting Katniss later and no I haven't told her about our witch, and I'm not planning to do that today!" I hiss at him.

I haven't told Katniss too much about my family. About the Mellark's. I only told her that I have two brothers. That's about it. I haven't told her that my father is my lifeline, or that I'm abused or about anything else. I don't know why. I'm not ashamed about anything but my mother. But if feels like if I tell her something, just anything, she will figure everything out. And I don't want that.

"Of course Peeta", Victoria says.

I look at Tiara who is smiling at me. The only thing she got from Adam was the blonde hair. Everything else has she gotten from Victoria. The green eyes, her chubby face. Some freckles. Tiara is so cute, and I love her so much. She's my favorite little niece. Well she's my only niece, but you get what I mean.

I love my family. I want Katniss to be a part of our family. And I don't mean I'm going to propose to her tomorrow, I mean that I want her to get along with my family, that she can like them, accept them. But that won't happen if I don't tell her about them and let her meet them.

I just don't know what to do...


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

 _Katniss_

I wake up feeling like my stomach is about to come out of my throat. I throw the cover off me as I swing my legs over the bed and run towards the bathroom. I get to the toilet just in time. When I'm finished puking, I groan and stand up. I flush the toilet and walk up to the sink and wash my mouth and brush my teeth. I look in the mirror and see that I'm pale, but also that my face color is starting to get back now when I don't feel sick anymore.

This is starting to get annoying. I've felt sick for a long time now. For like two months, soon three. Maybe I should just go to the doctor. Prim has been telling me to do so for a week now. I think I'm going to follow Prim's advice and just go to the doctor.

So after I walk out of the bathroom I pick up the phone and call. I get a time at 12:10 pm today. I walk into the kitchen where Prim is eating a cheese and ham sandwich. I also see that Haymitch is here. And he's smelling bad of alcohol. So imagine my surprise when he now wrinkle his nose as _I_ walk into the kitchen.

"Have you been sleeping in a trashcan sweetheart?" He asks.

"Yeah Katniss you stink puke", Prim says and wrinkle her nose.

I think we're both so used to Haymitch smell that it doesn't really bother our noses anymore. But when I stink everyone reacts.

I roll my eyes. "I am going to take a shower I was just going to tell you that I have time at the doctors at 12:10 pm today", I say trying not so sound offended.

"Okay you've told us, now go shower and scrub yourself four times okay sweetheart?" Haymitch says.

"Why you little..." I start but Prim interrupts me.

"Shower! Katniss", she says and points at the doorway.

I roll my eyes and stomp out of the kitchen and towards the bathroom. How dare Haymitch say those things to me when he smells like he hasn't taken a shower in at _least_ one hundred years. I take the shower and the next time I come into the kitchen Prim tells me that I smell like coconut and that she likes it.

"How's it going with lover boy?" Haymitch asks when I sit down beside him by the kitchen island.

I glance at him and then look at my water glass before taking a sip of it.

"Have you done _it_ yet?" He asks slyly.

"Haymitch if you don't shut up I'm going to make your head fit into that bottle of yours", I threat referring to the beer bottle he has in one of his hands.

"You wouldn't dare", he challenge me.

"Wanna bet?" I ask slyly.

"Oh come on guys, knock it off", Prim says tired of hearing us all the time.

"Only for you princess", Haymitch says and I roll my eyes at him as I turn to the bowl of fruit and take up a green apple. I take a big bite of it. Green apples are the only apples I like. It tastes sour and sweet at the same time, and are so good. And bonus it's green, my favorite color. What is there _not_ to like about green apples?

I continue to argue with Haymitch during the morning until I have to go to get in time for my appointment.

* * *

When I get to the hospital I register and sit down to wait until a doctor comes out and call my name. As I sit here I have time to get nervous. What if I am seriously sick? What if I am _deadly_ sick? Okay that would be me overreacting, but seriously, what if I am sick. I don't want to be sick.

It's not good for me to sit in a hospital and think things through, I get way too dramatic and predict my own death like seven times before I actually get to see the doctor. God I'm pathetic. Oh well.

"Katniss Everdeen", I hear someone call and I look up.

A doctor stands there looking around. I stand up and he sees me and smiles. I smile back. I didn't know I would get Haymitch old friend.

"Beetee", I say in a happy voice.

I follow him into his room and when we're there I give him a big hug. I haven't seen Beetee in ages.

"How great to see you", I say.

"Yeah it's good to see you too Katniss", he smiles. "Although I don't think you're here to see _me_... What's wrong?"

So I sit down in a chair, Beetee sits down in his, and I explain everything about my problems to him.

"Oh I see..." He says thoughtfully, it looks like he already knows what's wrong with me. "Could you lay down here Katniss?" He point at the bed.

"Yeah", I say and lay down.

He starts to feel on my stomach. "I know this is a sensitive question Katniss, but, have you had sex lately? Are you sexually active?" He asks as he feels.

It takes me a while, but I explain about everything on Mallorca, he's after all a doctor and is sworn to secrecy.

"I understand..." He says thoughtfully.

He puts some jell on my stomach and does something with a machine. "Yeah I thought so", he mumbled as he looks at a screen.

"What?" I ask worried.

"Katniss... You're pregnant", he says.

My whole world starts spinning. Pregnant?! No way it can't be... Okay well I guess it can be possible after all. I remember the day after Peeta and I... Yeah. Oh god.

"What?" I say in a choked voice.

"You're pregnant", he says. "About two months I would say, maybe three".

"Are you sure? Can you check again?" I ask not wanting to believe what he says.

"Katniss you're _pregnant_ ", he says again and dries off the jell.

I sit up.

"Are you sure?" I ask again.

"Katniss I'm sure", he says.

"Oh my god", I mumble and put my face into my hands. "Oh my god, oh my god".

This is not happening.

"I'm sorry Katniss", Beetee says.

Yeah...

"Sure", I say trying not to panic. "Well thanks, I'll call you later or I'll tell Haymitch to call you".

I stand up and walk out, not waiting for Beetee to say anything back.

What am I gonna do? I can't destroy Peeta's life, but I can't kill a life either. I never wanted children and now I'm pregnant. I don't understand. Why is this happening?

On my way home from the hospital I try to think everything through. On the bus I see a mom and a dad with a stroller. They're not too young maybe twenty five or twenty six or something. They seem happy. The mother is now taking up their baby. A boy from what I can see. The father looks happily at his girlfriend or wife and their son.

I don't think that can ever be Peeta and I. It doesn't feel like it's possible. We're too young as it is right now. But yet, as I see that baby, I can imagine how my baby may look like, and I feel even stronger about never wanting to do an abortion. Maybe I can let it get adopted...?

When I walk off the bus I feel how it has started to rain. I stop in my moves and looks up at the gray sky and now whole face get wet of the water. I walk slowly, trying to make a decision. When I come into the gatehouse, I know what I have to do. I hurry up the stairs and open the door.

Prim and Haymitch are sitting on the couch. They look at me as I walk through the door. It's dripping water from me down onto the floor, but don't care.

"Pack your bags", I say, looking at them. "We're leaving".


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

 _Katniss_

Prim and Haymitch didn't understand why we are leaving, but they didn't question me either. They just packed their bags, and got into the car. I started to drive and didn't answer their questions. Of course they wanted to know why we are leaving when we were in the car.

"Katniss please", Prim begs from the backseat. "Please tell us what is going on, aren't we coming back here?"

"I... I don't know Prim", I say truthfully from behind the wheel.

I don't know if we're coming back. When I got home I decided how I am not going to ruin Peeta's life. I disappear. Simple as that. If I disappear, so does the baby. And Peeta's life will be just as it was before he met me. It will be good and he will have his whole future with possibilities ahead of him.

"Okay than sweetheart, can you maybe tell us why we are leaving?" Haymitch asks from the passenger seat.

Well maybe I could tell them. They are my family, they're with me on leaving and they're going to find out eventually. "I'm pregnant", I say.

"What?" Prim asks.

"With that Peeta boy?" Haymitch ask.

"No with an alien!" I sputter. "What's the _matter_ with you?"

"Oh my god Katniss, this is amazing!" Prim says happily.

"No it's not!" I snap.

"Why are we leaving?" Haymitch asks.

"I'm not gonna destroy his life", I say.

"Wait a minute..." Prim says. "He doesn't _know_!" I don't say anything and that is just as good as a yes. "Katniss you can't do this".

"Prim, we're twenty, if I tell him I'm pregnant he'll hate me and think I have destroyed his future", I say. "I can't let that happen".

"And your friends?" Haymitch asks.

"They don't know anything", I say. "They would only tell Peeta. The best thing for now is to just disappear".

"And where are we going to live?" Prim asks.

I never leave the road with my eyes. I'm really careful when I drive a car.

"Mom and dad... They had a... A house", I say. "By a lake a few ... Like seven or eight hours, it's being protected from nosy eyes by a lot of trees, but it's close to a town".

"Why can't I remember that house?" Prim asks.

"Because you were little when they died Primmy", Haymitch says. "I remember it, but I don't know how you have the keys".

Yeah. I found the keys after mom and dad died. I didn't tell Haymitch. I hated him when I were a kid because of how much he drank all the time. I thought he would take the keys from me and sell the house or something. Now of course, I know that he wouldn't do that. I was just a lost kid who had just lost her parents and didn't trust anyone. "I found them after they died", I say with a lump in my throat. I'm not good at talking about my parents. "I've kept them hidden".

"You're a real snake sweetheart", Haymitch chuckles. "You know that?"

I just roll my eyes, and continue to drive.

* * *

After about four hours we stop to eat and use the bathroom. Prim still think it's wrong of me to keep Peeta in the dark. Haymitch... Well I don't think he cares about that really, but he's pretty excited about the baby, and so is Prim of course.

I haven't said anything to Annie and Madge. If this is going to work, they have to think I've disappeared too, and the best way is to keep them in the dark just like I keep Peeta in the dark. I hope that they will forgive me someday. Maybe when I come back ... _If_ I come back that they won't hate me for the rest of my life for keeping them in the dark like this.

We also buy new phones and change numbers, so people can't reach us. This is a new fresh start. That on the other hand was very hard for Prim.

"But... Rory... I, Katniss, I can't... He", she said to me.

"Prim you'll see him again, and if he really loves you, he'll wait", I told her.

I felt awful. I could see how much she didn't want to do what I told her. But she did it. She told me that she agreed on what I said. That he'll wait for her if he really loves her. Haymitch seem to be happy about the move and disappearing though. He even told Prim and I that he would stop drinking. For us and for the baby. I don't believe he will, but if he does I'll be so very happy to have a sober uncle. And I know that it will be good for Prim since she is younger than me and she depends on him more then I do.

I just hope that we will have good lives in our new home.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

 _Katniss_

I stop the car outside the house. The house is placed right beside the lake. It's really pretty out here. Big lawn, trees around, and the lake with the calm water.

"It's so pretty", Prim says.

She's still a bit mad at me for forcing her to ignore Rory and change phone.

"Remember your name?" I ask Prim.

"Yeah Katniss!" She says.

"What is it than?" I ask her.

"Willow".

"Exactly, and what is Haymitch new name?" I ask.

"Woody", Prim says annoyed.

"And _my_ new name?" I ask finally.

"Jennifer!" Prim says angry and steps out of the car.

She doesn't want to change names. But she don't have a choice. We're doing this, and we're doing it the right way. From now on, I'm Jennifer, when I talk to other people.

We walk into the house. Prim chooses a room at the first floor, Haymitch on the second and I on the third. I don't know why we did this, but I guess the rooms we picked fits us. I have a balcony to my room. "I'll go and buy food", I tell the others.

"Okay", Haymich asks.

"So if someone comes here and asks...?"

"We're Willow and Woody, Woody is Willow and Jennifer's uncle", they both says at the same time. "We know sweetheart", Haymitch says. "Calm down, okay?"

I sigh. Yeah. Haymitch is right. I have to relax and calm down. We're gone, we have a house, we have new phones and we have new names.

I drive to the store to buy food. But then I pass hair dying products. I pick three and continue with the groceries.

* * *

When I get back home Prim snoops around in the bags and sees the colors. "Katniss what's this?" She asks.

"You dye your hair with it", I say as I put fruit in the fruit bowl.

"I know what it is, but why have you bought of them?" She asks me with a suspicious glance.

I look at them. Two brown once and one blond.

"We're dying our hair", I say.

"Oh no can do sweetheart", Haymitch says. "I like my hair".

"Oh you'll look so much better in brown hair Haymitch", Prim laughs.

"Yeah and I'm gonna dye my hair blond", I say.

"Oh that I'm gonna _have_ to see!" Haymitch laughs.

"Ha ha ha", I say sarcastically.

"No but seriously, you'll look funny", he says.

"How do you know? I've never been blond before", I say.

"Yeah so why start now?" Prim asks.

I stop in what I'm doing. I look out of the window, at the lake. The water is glistening in the sun. "Annie and Madge", I say. "Because of Annie and Madge. "What if they call us on the news? Than it won't matter if we change name or phones, people will recognize us, but if we change hair color it gets harder, and Prim you can't have your braids anymore, and I can't have my braid, we have to have our hair loose because we always have braids, and Haymitch, I'm sorry to say this, but you have to cut your hair".

"Katniss!" He starts protesting.

"Pleaaaaasse", I beg because I can't force him, I know that.

"Ugh fine", Haymitch caves. "But you owe me big time!"

I know I do. I owe Haymitch and Prim a lot. They could have said no to do this, but they didn't because they love me. And I love them for it. I nod as I put stuff into the fridge.

"I know I do, trust me I do", I say. "To you both".

Haymitch nods. "Okay I'm gonna go and make a few calls to the school for Prim", he says and walks out of the kitchen.

"I've never had brown hair before", Prim says as she reads on the box.

"Yeah I know", I say.

"Do you think I would fit in it?" She asks.

"You know what? Yeah. I do think that, but your color is blond and I promise that this won't last forever", I say and look her. "Only for a while, until I've figured out exactly what the right thing to do is".

"Yeah well you already know my opinion", Prim says as she starts to blend the color.

"Yeah but that doesn't matter Prim", I say. "I can't destroy his life".

"Yeahyeah", Prim sighs. "Whatever. Will you help me not?"

"Of course little duck", I say and take the color. "Come on let's go to the bathroom and do this".

I wonder how long I can keep this up before someone finds out who we are. Before Annie and Madge finds us. Hopefully they won't. I hate leaving them, but I have to clear my head. I feel horrible, but right now this seems to be the only way. I can't just ruin an innocent boys life right? No I can't. He would be angry and devastated.

Maybe I can give the baby up for adoption? I don't know. Abortion is not an option, but maybe adoption. _Maybe._

Oh what should I do?


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

 _Peeta_

I'm getting really worried. I haven't seen or heard from Katniss for like a month now. I don't know what to do. I did want to introduce Katniss to my family, but how can I when she's gone?

Annie and Madge called me the same day she went missing, to tell me not only she was gone, but her sister and uncle was as well. Although they've left everything in the apartment. They even left the food they were eating and the TV was on. When they left, they left in a hurry and wouldn't miss the stuff they left behind in the apartment. Finnick and Gale has been trying to comfort the girls. They're out of their minds of worry.

I told my brothers about Katniss yesterday. They had been asking me why I've lost my appetite and why I'm so down and depressed. At first they thought I was trying to pull a prank on them or something, but then they met Annie and Madge, who are both total wrecks. I can't say that I'm much better, I'm actually in the same state as them by now.

I don't think that Katniss is coming back. If she had plans on coming back, I don't think she would have taken her sister and uncle with her when she left. Annie and Madge went to the police station and reported her missing, but they said that they can't do anything because she went by herself and took her family with her. They said that maybe they just moved. I went with them there. It ended up with me trying to hold Annie and Madge back from punching the police officer. They didn't want to believe that Katniss would move without telling them. I didn't either. But punching a police officer is not the answer. We could have ended up in big trouble.

I still don't want to believe that Katniss is gone. That she actually left me, without saying goodbye. But the more time flies by, I think I may have to accept it. I don't want to. I'm only lying in my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I haven't been at the bakery for weeks. I can't concentrate on anything. I don't understand why Katniss would just _leave_. I thought things were finally starting to get better. Katniss and I finally started over on great terms. She even let me meet her sister Prim. Annie and Madge said that she would never have done that if she didn't think it was serious between us. She's very overprotective over Prim and don't let people meet her that often. They were surprised that she let Prim have a boyfriend.

And speaking of boyfriend. Gale says that he's brother is in pretty rough shape as well. His mother has to force feed him, and he even pushed their baby sister away from him while she tried to cheer him up. She fell to the floor and Rory immediately started crying and apologizing and no one could calm him down. Most of the time Gale says that Rory is in his room with his door closed. Jut like me.

Everyone is just like ... Not good at the moment. Gale and Finnick says that maybe it's time now to realize that she's not coming back, and try to go on in life. But how can I go on in life, if the one girl I've liked for God knows how long, left me without saying goodbye and without a reason? More importantly... Do I _want_ to go in life? Move on? I don't know. I don't think so. But I don't know.

The thoughts just keeps on spinning in my head, never letting me sleep. Never letting me rest even for a second. Not even my mothers constant beating can make me stop thinking about Katniss and why she left.

I suddenly feel the cover being ripped off me and the cold wraps around my body, as I only wear a pair of soft pants. "What the hell?" I grunt looking up at the person.

Or should I say persons? Gale and Finnick are standing there.

"Get up now Peeta", Gale says. "You can't _do_ this anymore, you need to get your life back on track".

"But I don't _want_ to!" I say. "Can't you just understand that?"

"No because you can't go around being depressed all day everyday", Finnick says. "Or no, excuse me, _lying_ around!"

They're pissed at me. But I don't care, I'm gonna be pissed at them soon as well if they continue this. I don't want to get my life back on track right now. Don't they get that? I'm sad. I'm depressed and I want to be left alone. "Leave me alone", I say sitting up in the bed. I pull my hands through my hair and exhale heavily. Trying not to get angry. That's also one thing I have had problems with lately. My temper. I'm angrier and angrier because I'm frustrated. I guess this is all a phase though. At least I hope it is. I always use to be the kind and calm guy, but now when Katniss left something just snapped inside of me.

"You can't let this effect you like this Peeta", Gale says.

I raise my eyebrow as I look up at him. "I can't let _what_ effect me?" I ask, because I know that he avoids saying it on purpose.

He knows that I dare him to say this. He knows it's stupid to answer and I know it's stupid to start up a fight with my best friend. But I do it anyway, and he answers the question. "A _girl_ ", he says.

I stand up. "You don't know how it feels!" I shout in his face. "You still have _your_ girl!" I start walking back and forth. Back and forth.

"Peeta..." Gale sighs. "Man I'm sorry, you're right, I don't know how it feels, but you're disappearing into darkness, letting your mother beat you without protesting and you barely eat".

"Yeah dude you're scaring all of us", Finnick says. "You're changing, and that's scary, because you're not the old Peeta anymore".

He's right. I'm not the old Peeta. I'm tired of being the old Peeta. The one Peeta that always get hurt easily and the one that is a loser. I'm not sure I want to be that Peeta anymore. Maybe this Peeta, is better...


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

 _Annie_

Why did Katniss take Prim and Haymitch and left? I don't understand that. We're best friends... Or at least I thought we were. I don't know, I just ... I don't understand. Why couldn't Katniss just tell us? I thought we told each other everything. I don't know what I think anymore.

Peeta is depressed, Rory is depressed. Finnick and Gale are trying to cheer everyone up, but that doesn't work as good as I think they thought it would.

Madge and I just continue to walk back to Katniss apartment. I don't know why we do that, maybe we think that she'll show up sometime. I don't know how we think to be honest. "What are we going to do?" I ask Madge as I hook my arm with hers.

"I don't know", she says.

We haven't been able to do much. We go to our works and then we meet our boys and then we go to Katniss apartment. That's how our days looks like. I go to my job as a swim teacher and Madge to her job as a 1st grade teacher.

We walk into the building and walk up the stairs towards Katniss apartment. I take up my key out of my pocket. It's like I take a big stone or something out of my pocket. That's how heavy it feels like. I know it's not really, but with everything that happened, it hurts to have the key in my pocket.

I sigh when I see it.

When we come up to the door I put the key into the lock and switch it. I push down the handle but the door won't open. Did I just lock the door? Is someone already in there? "What?" Madge says and frowns. She tries to open the door but it's definitely locked. "Just try it again", she says to me.

I put the key back in and switch it. I push down the handle and this time it slides open. Immediately when the door opens the smell of cigarettes hits our faces.

"Who the hell is in here?" Madge whispers.

"Why you ask me? I'm out here with _you_ ", I hiss back.

We walk slowly inside into the smell. I think I'm going to vomit. I hate the smell of cigarettes. Yuck!

"Wait what's that?" Madge whispers. "Sshh listen".

Sobbing... I think I hear someone sob. "I think it's coming from the bedroom", I whisper.

We walk towards the bedroom. When we look inside we see a boy sitting there on the bed. He has soft pants and I think a hoody with the hood up over his head. He has a frame in one of his hands and a cigarette in the other hand. On the floor beneath him there is about ten or fifteen cigarette ends. "Oh god, Peeta..." Madge says and walks up to him.

I walk up to the window and open it to get air in here. I stick out my head to breathe in the fresh air. I've got a headache because of all this smoke. Ugh. I swear to god, if Finnick _ever_ starts smoking I'm dumping his ass!

I walk up to Peeta and Madge. Madge is trying to get the cigarette out of Peeta's hand, but he won't let it go.

"Madge stop!" Peeta says angrily.

"No Peeta _you_ stop it!" I say. "What is this?" I point at the floor.

"Yeah you don't even _smoke_!" Madge says patiently.

"I do _now_ ", he spits.

That's one thing that has changed about Peeta. He's attitude. He always used to be so kind and warmhearted. Now he's rude to _everyone_.

"Peeta it's not good for you", I say.

"Neither is drinking, but does it look like I care?" He asks and takes up a hip flask out of his hoody pocket.

Oh god, is he drinking too? Yeah when I think about it he does smell liquid as well. I didn't notice it until now because of the cigarette smell but now when I think about it... Ugh. Peeta has totally flipped.

"Peeta no!" Madge says and smack the flask out of his hand.

It hits the floor and the liquid flows out on the floor. "What the hell Madge!" Peeta shouts angrily and stands up. "Listen to me both of you, this is none of your fucking business what I'm doing! None! Nada! You hear?!"

He's going crazy. I'm sure of it. I mean Madge and I are doing horrible as well, but Peeta... He's a total wreck. I think he's beyond repair now to tell the truth.

"Yes it is", I say. "You're our _friend_ Peeta, of course we care about you and you're about to ruin your life".

I mean what if he becomes a drunk? Ugh I've been around a drunk for years, Katniss uncle Haymitch. He was kind and all of that but he was very irritating and smelled like shit. Peeta can't become like him.

"But I don't care!" Peeta says angrily. "Why can't anyone get that? I'm so sick of being screwed over all the _fucking_ time! Katniss didn't care about me, she played with me and then threw me away!"

Oh god, what is he saying? Katniss loves him. No matter where she might be, I _know_ she loves him.

"That's not true Peeta", Madge says and stands up.

Peeta has almost smoked up the cigarette he's holding. He extinguishes the cigarette on the back of his hand.

"Peeta!" I smack his hand and he lets go of the cigarette.

"What the hell?" He yells.

"I don't care if you get angry, but I'm not going to let you _hurt_ yourself", I yell.

"Oh don't worry miss goody-goody, I won't _slice_ my arms", Peeta says evilly. "But I _am_ going to drink! And I _am_ going to smoke! And if you want to be my friends still, you will just have to accept that!" He bows down and pick up the flask. He rattles it and I hear that it's a few drops in there still. Peeta empties it in his mouth. He walk towards the door. But as he's about to walk out he turns to us. "Oh and it is true, that she never really cared for me, otherwise why would she leave _that_ here?" He asks and points at the frame on the bed where he left it.

He walks out of the room. I look at the frame. It's Peeta and Katniss, leaning their head on each other's foreheads, smiling. It hurt to see it honestly. That photo wasn't taken long ago, maybe a few weeks. And that only explains what certain things can do to a human and turn it into something completely else in a such short time. It's scary.

"This is not going to end well", Madge says, starting to pick up all of the cigarette ends.

"I know, but what are we going to do?" I sigh and sit down onto the bed, taking the frame into my hands, looking at it. "She loves him, so why did she leave him? Why did she leave all of us?"

Madge sighs. "I don't know", she says. "And I know she loves him but I don't know why she left. Maybe something happened".

"Yeah but what?" I ask.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

 _Katniss_

I don't really mind being blond. I like the changes, it feels like a new me, and I like to be a new me. The other two, the once that actually were blondes are now brunettes, and I don't think they mind. They haven't complained or anything. Brown really suites Prim, it really does.

Our new life isn't bad. Prim has started school and I have a work. Haymitch also have a work. He misses his pub, but he got a job at one, so he manage. I work as an archery teacher at Prim's school. I like it, it's different, but fun.

"Here you go Prim", I say pushing a bowl with yoghurt and granola to her.

"Thanks", she says.

We've been here for about two months now, but we haven't really talked about school and work. Prim is a bit mad at me. She misses Rory like crazy, but she's not that angry with me, she says that she likes it here, only she wishes she could have Rory here.

"How's school?" I ask her.

She shrugs. "Fine", she says.

"Fine?" I ask.

"Yeah well I guess I can't complain, the school is good, the people are kind, I just miss Rory", she says, eating her breakfast.

I frown."I know you do", I say. "But you'll meet him again".

"Maybe he has someone else by then", she says sadly.

"Not if he truly loves you Prim, you disappeard, or well... yeah, for him you did and if he really loves you, it would be really hard for him to just move on like that", I tell her.

She sighs. "I guess", she finishes her breakfast.

"Come on, I'll drive you", I say.

"Okay great", she says and stands up.

She has a pair of black shorts and a wine red crop top. Her long hair is up in a high pony tail and on her feet she has a pair of flip flops. She's absolutley gorgeous. When she gets older she will be so beautiful.

"Oh damn", I say and stand up.

"What?" Prim asks as she puts the bowl into the dish washer.

"I think we might have a problem here", I say and follow Prim to the door.

She takes her school bag and heaves it up on her shoulder and open the door. "Do we?" She asks as she walks to my car.

"We do", I say seriously and take up my keys to open the car.

We sit down into the car, and I turn it on. "What kind of problem?" She asks looking at me.

"I think you've grown out of your nickname now little duck", I say sadly.

A winning smile sneaks up on Prim's lips as I start driving towards the school. Why does she look happy? I mean I know she doesn't like that nickname, but it's still sad.

"Finally!" She exclaims.

"You're mean", I say in a hurt voice.

Prim only giggles. She knows I don't mean it, but she also knows that I love to call her that, though she really has grown out of it. She's not a little duck anymore. She has grown to be a gorgeous swan.

"Maybe I should start calling you Swan Princess", I say thoughtfully.

"Why would you do that?" Prim asks.

"Beacuse now you've grown to be a gorgeous swan, and you're my princess", I say and she giggles.

"Please don't call me that", she says.

"Ugh fine", I say and pull up at the school.

I turn off the engine and we both walk out of the car.

Did I forget to mention that I work at Prim's school? I'm not her teacher though, she sucks at archery. I've tried to teach her a few times, but it has never worked. She got interested in cheerleading instead. At home she was the cheer captain. Now she's new. She's on the team, yes, and she likes it, but she was getting used to be the captain, so she's a bit down because of that.

As soon as we walk into the school, students starts saying hello to Prim. Like everyone we pass. They all seem to like her a lot.

"Prim!" Someone shouts.

A girl runs up to us and embraces Prim in a hug. Prim hugs her back.

"Katniss this is my friend Rue", Prim tells me.

Why haven't I heard the name Rue before now? Is Prim really _that_ mad at me?

I'm not gonna lie. I have been having doubts about my decision to leave. I'm scared that it might have been a mistake. But I can't think like that, because that would mean a whole lot of trouble for me.

"It's great to meet you Rue", I say and shakes hands with her.

"You too, and congratulations to the baby", Rue says.

"Yeah yeah it's a bundle of joy and all of that and we're all so happy about it!" Prim mutters and starts to push Rue forward. "Come on we'll be late. Bye Katniss".

And then she walks away, clearly irritated with me.

I sigh. "Bye Prim", I whisper.

Am I really that horrible? Am I a terrible sister?

"Katniss?" I jerk and turn around.

I see two girls about my age walk towards me. Wait do I know them? Their faces does seem familiar.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"Oh you're so beautiful, blond really suites you", the blond one of the two girls says.

"You look different", the black haired girl says.

Gosh I've known them? I look at them closely. Then suddenly it hits me who the blond girl is. "Delly Cartwright?" I ask in disbelief.

She looks a bit sadly at me and nods. She takes my hands. "Katniss I am so sorry for what I did to you in high school, I really am sorry and I've been full of regret since we finished high school", she says on the verge of tears. "I was a complete bitch I know that and I didn't make your high school years very easy, I've been wanting to tell you this for so long".

I raise my eyebrows. This is _not_ the Delly I remember. The Delly I remember is the one who named me Katpee and Rotniss. She made my life miserable. She made me an outcast. She's the reason to why Peeta would never look at me in high school.

It stings in my stomach at the thought of Peeta.

"Katniss will you forgive me?" Delly asks, looking at me with pleading eyes and hold my hands in hers tightly.

I don't know... Can I? Suddenly a memory hits me.

 _"So how was your first time Katpee?" A mean familiar voice asks._

 _I look up to see Delly Cartwright. The meanest most selfish girl I've ever had the unfortunate to know._

 _She stands there with her girlfriends. They call themselves 'the sluts', as if they're proud of it. Which I don't understand._

 _"What?" I ask almost not hearable._

 _"Yeah that's right, you've never had sex, and you're seventeen, that's just sad, even for_ you _", Delly taunts me._

 _I roll my eyes. I shut my book with a loud bang and stands up._ _"I don't care Delly! I do not want to have sex yet", I say to her face and starts walking away._

 _She follows me though and so does her friends._

 _"Like you could ever have someone, you're so ugly and weird", Delly says and laughs mean. "And no one likes you"._

 _I keep the tears inside._ _I turn towards the girls bathroom. The door closes but opens again when Delly comes in._ _"Just leave me the hell alone", I say angrily._

 _"No but see we're here to help you, promise", Delly says and the door opens._

 _A guy comes in. I think he's a football player. He plays along with Peeta, my crush. He will never be interested in me. Why am I so ugly and weird?_

 _"Adam here says that he can have sex with you if he get to have his eyes closed", Delly says gently._

 _My inside screams. What the hell?_ _Adam walks up to me, with a disgusting face._ _"Stay the hell away from me!" I say._

 _He comes closer._ _I throw my big book onto his head._

 _He groans in pain and suddenly looks at me in a way that makes me scared._ _"Bitch!" He yells and slaps my face._

 _He grab my hands and turns me around pushing me down to the sink. He starts to pull down my pants._

 _"Yeah show her!" Delly shouts._

 _"Stop it!" I roar. "Stop!"_ _I don't want to get raped. I don't want to. This is not fair._ _"STOP!" I roar, but he doesn't. "STOP IT!"_

 _The door flies open. Through the tears I think I see my two only friend. Madge and Annie._

 _"What the hell is going on?!" Madge asks._

 _Another girl comes in. Johanna Mason. The bad girl. She's a girl who doesn't follow rules and she almost got kicked out of school last week. I'm actually pretty scared of her._

 _"Adam you idiot!" Johanna yells and rushes up to us._

 _She pulls Adam away and throws him into the wall._ _Annie and Madge hurries up to me and Annie pulls up my panties and pants._

 _I cry onto Annie's shoulder and she and Madge tries to comfort me._

 _I look at Johanna and Adam._ _"Girls are not toys you big shit bag!" Johanna yells and kicks him on his crotch._

 _I look towards the spot Delly and her friends where standing, they're not there anymore. They escaped._

 _Johanna comes up to me._

 _"He won't do that again", she says and looks at Adam. "Right Adam?"_

 _"Nooo..." He whines through the pain, lying on the floor cupping his crotch._

 _"He's a jerk, ignore him", she says and walks away._

 _"Hey Johanna?" I say looking towards the door where Johanna stops, holding up the door._

 _"Yah?"_

 _"Thanks", I say smiling at her._

 _She smiles and nods. She walks out of the girls bathroom, leaving the door shut softly after her._

That was actually the last time I saw Johanna. After that door closed. I don't know what happened to her after that. And now she's standing here in front of me, with her short hair up in a high pony tail, looking really beautiful actually. At school she was like a tomboy like me, now she's a girl, like me.

"Oh god, Johanna..." I gasp looking at her.

"In person", she says. "So I guess you remember me huh?"

"How could I forget? You saved me from when..." I start but stop myself and frown, looking at Delly.

She almost made sure that I got raped that time when we were juniors. "I'm so sorry Katniss, I was jealous of you", she says.

"Of me? What?"

"Yeah well, you were so beautiful and you were so independent, you didn't need to have a guy tell you that you were beautiful every day", she says. "You liked who you were and didn't care about how I would call you mean stuff. I wanted to be you, that's why I was mean. After school I traveled and I met Johanna and we hated each other at first but after a while we started to get along and now we're here, teaching".

"Why here?" I ask.

"I was too afraid to go back to Panem", Delly says low. "You're not the only one I was mean to".

Oh yeah that I know. She made Annie and Madge outcasts as well just for being friends with me. Can I forgive Delly? No matter what she did to me? After everything she put me through? I don't know...

"So can you forgive me?" She asks.

I sigh. "Oh I don't know Delly, I... I just don't know", I say in deep thoughts.

"I understand that", she sighs.

What she does now though, telling me this, asking for forgiveness, shows me that Delly has grown. High School-Delly would never do that.

"I guess... I guess I could, I just, those memories and scars will never go away Delly, I hope you realize that", I say.

"I do, I do, just thank you so much Katniss", she says and hugs me.

I look at Johanna over Delly's shoulder and she gestures to me to hug her back. So I do.

When she lets go of me she looks at me. Her eyes grows.

"My gosh you're pregnant", she says.

Oh right.

"Yah", I say.

I figure that they will want to know how this happened and with whom. So I tell them that we should go to the teacher room.

We sit down in the couch and I tell them about the trip and Peeta. And then about when we got home and when I thought I was sick but it turned out I was pregnant and I left.

" _Peeta Mellark_ is the father of your baby?" Johanna asks. "Football star Peeta Mellark, all girls favorite Peeta Mellark?!

I nod.

"Peeta is going to be crushed if you don't return Katniss", Delly says. "You can't seriously be doing this to him".

Okay. I will _never_ get used to kind-Delly. But she is right though.

"We're twenty! It's not his top priority to become a father at this age, and I didn't have the heart to do an abortion or ruin Peeta's life, and this was the way not to do that", I say. "I do feel bad though".

"Are you planning on ever returning?" Johanna asks.

"I don't know", I say.

And I really don't know.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

 _Katniss_

Having Johanna and Delly as my friends is not bad. Even though I will never forget how Delly treated me in school, she really is kind now and tries her best to make up for everything she did to me.

"I don't know if I'm going to remember to call you Jennifer all the time", Delly says as she takes a sip from the water bottle I gave her over the kitchen island.

It's been two months now since I met her and Johanna and they still forget to call me Jennifer, and they forget to call Prim and Haymitch, Willow and Woody. Prim told me why her friend Rue knows her real name though. The day I met Rue she called Prim by her real name, I asked her about it at home later that day. She said that she didn't have the heart to lie to Rue who had been nothing but sweet and kind to her. I don't like that she told Rue about it though, if she says something to someone and it gets out, it will not be good.

"Oh come on, it's not that hard", I sigh.

"Yes it is, what if _we_ changed names, would you call us that or by our real names?" Johanna asks.

"Okay good point, but try", I say.

"Yeahyeah", Johanna says.

"Have you thought more about what we told you Katniss?" Delly asks, looking at me very seriously.

She and Johanna told me to go home. They told me that it's better if I just go home and tell Peeta everything. Running away is not the answer to my problems. I have been thinking about that, but I also have something to say to her. "I have Delly but why should I? _You_ ran away, _you_ are keeping away too", I say. "How is that a solution to your demons?"

She looks at me. "Okay you're right, maybe I'm not the right person to say that", she says thoughtfully. "But everyone _hates_ me, so it's easier for you, didn't you tell us that Prim has a boyfriend back home?"

"Yeah that Rory boy? Gale Hawthorne's baby brother?" Johanna says.

I nod, not knowing where Delly is going to take this conversation.

"Well was it fair to drag _her_ away from him? From her friends?" Delly asks.

The change Delly has made will never stop to amaze me. I can't believe this is the same girl that made me want to _literary_ kill myself in high school. I like this Delly so much and I'm happy she made the change, realizing it was not the person she wanted to be.

I sigh and put my hand on my seven month old baby belly. When I went to the doctor, Beetee told me I was three months pregnant, and now we've been here for four months. When I left there was no sign on my body of me being pregnant, now... Well I'm huge! I found out the gender of my baby a few months ago, I'm having a baby girl. I do feel guilty over the fact that Peeta doesn't know anything about the fact that he's going to be a daddy to a baby girl. And lately I've been feeling homesick and really wanting to return, but I just... I can't. I can't _destroy_ Peeta's life.

I've started to buy baby clothes. They're so cute and I'm sick of being pregnant now. I want to get this baby out of me. Delly and Johanna has also been shopping things for the baby. Yesterday Delly came here with the biggest teddy bear I've ever seen. At first I got scared of it because, oh my god it's _huge_! I asked her if she was crazy, she just laughed and said that she couldn't help herself. She saw it and just _had_ to buy it for the baby. A grown man could fit in the arms of that teddy bear, a full grown big muscle man! But I put the teddy bear in the nursery, in the corner beside the window.

"It's getting close now", Johanna says. "Only two months left".

"I know", I mumble.

"And baby daddy still don't know a shit", she says nodding to herself and her own statement, making me feel worse.

But I've decided! I _can't_ destroy Peeta's life, I just can't. He's young and he should be enjoying that. Not be stuck with a baby just because of one night on Mallorca. It's my fault so I'm responsible, and I'm also responsible for keeping the baby. I could never get rid of it. I miss Peeta so much, but at least I have a part of him in the baby. "Johanna please don't look at me like that", I beg, looking down at the table. "I love Peeta so much, you don't understand how much".

"Well I understand you left him..." Johanna starts, but I interrupt her.

"For his sake!" I say desperate.

"Yeah you keep saying that, but to be honest Katniss, I don't believe that's true", Johanna says.

One thing about Johanna Mason... She always speaks her mind, no matter how much it hurts to hear. "What?" I ask looking at her.

"Katniss I love you, you know I love you, but you don't have a brain sometimes, you're really brainless", she says.

"Jeez thanks", I mutter.

Delly looks from me to Johanna and then back at me.

"Guys don't fight okay", Delly says. "It's not good for the baby".

"It's not _good_ for the baby to be without a _father_!" Johanna states. I look at her. "Okay I'm sorry but I grew up without a father, he abandoned my mom and I before I was born, and yes Katniss I know your parents died and all but you still had them in your life and then you had your uncle who by the way loves you so much", Johanna says. "If this baby does not meet her father what will she think of Peeta?"

I sigh. I've caught myself hating when Johanna is right. And she _is_ right. But I'm going to tell the baby story's about her father, to make her know he didn't abandon her. Maybe sometime they will meet.

Oh god, now I feel guiltier. Was this really the right choice? Or was Johanna right when she said that I did this for myself? Maybe I thought it would be easier to handle? No I know what it is, when things get tough, I try to get out of it. Am I really that selfish?

* * *

 **A/N: Hey you guys. I hope you like the story so far, whom ever is reading it :) You can leave reviews about what you think if you feel like it. Thanks and i hope you'll enjoy the rest of the book :)**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

 _Peeta_

I flip the lighter in my hand. I light my cigarette, which I have in my mouth. I inhale take out the cigarette and exhale. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. When I first started smoking, I coughed so much. I thought I would cough out my lungs. But after a while, when I got used to it, I stopped coughing an enjoyed it. I'm not saying that I enjoy smoking, I know that I'm not suppose to, but I don't care, it _helps_. And so does the liquid.

I take up my flask and drink. The liquid burns my throat on it's way down, but it makes me feel damn good. If I had known this earlier I would not have become the goody-goody boy I was even though my mother beat the crap out of me. Boys in me and my brothers situation don't always tend to end up as goody-goody as we did, or I did. I can't say my brothers has been all that goody-goody. Adam was this heartbreaker. He threw girls away as if they were trash. And Damien was a gangster. Finally, when I was about fourteen I had enough of them and yelled at them to stop with what they were doing. Begged Damien to stop being a gangster and told Adam to treat girls with respect because they do have feelings, that they're not toys. They listened to me, because this was after my mother had beat so badly that my two of my ribs got broken, and one of them punctured my right lung. They were afraid that I was going to die, so they did what I asked them to. When I think about that now, how my ribs got broken and I almost died because of a punctured lung, I can't help to think that maybe that would have been better. I mean I wouldn't have to stand my mother's beatings anymore and all of her hurtful words. I just don't care anymore.

"Peeta!" I hear a familiar voice shout.

I look up from the ground to see my brother. Adam. He looks worried. "Yes?" I say drunkly.

Yes I'm drunk. I love the feeling of being drunk. It helps with the pain I feel from my mother's beatings, and Katniss leaving me.

Adam hurries up to me. "What the hell are you doing?!" He asks as he looks at the flask and the cigarette.

"I'm not a baby you have to look after anymore Adam!" I snort. "Go back to your adorable and loving family!" He frowns. I just dissed Victoria and Tiara. I have to be more drunk than thought. I love them, but now all these mixed feelings flows up to the surface. "Yeah go back to the once you truly care about", I say. "As I said, I'm grown up now, and you do not have to be here, bye!"

And I start to walk away. But Adam grabs my arm and forces me to stop. "Peeta, what are you _babbling_ about?" He asks.

I don't _know_. I don't want to say these stuff and act like this shitty jealous little brother. It's not that I'm jealous. I'm not, or not at Adam like people would think, not that way. "Yeah well why would you care? You have this perfect life now! A wife, a child, a loving family that cares if you don't come home at nights, that are so happy to see you come home from work", I snort. "What we shared, Damien, you and I, the way mom treated us and are still treating me, that's all history for you now, it's in the past, just another horror story to tell Tiara when she grows up. Me? No one wants me, accept maybe dad, mom did not want me and do not want me, she has proven that very clear, and you and Damien you have your own lives now, no need to give little brother a thought". How I get out all of these words, I do not understand since I'm drunk. But these are no drunken feelings I have. These are feelings I've been bearing with me for a lot of years. Since Adam moved in with Victoria actually. It's just so easy to say it when I'm drunk.

"Peeta you're hammered", Adam says low.

"That may be, but these is my true feelings!" I say pulling away from Adams grip. "You have moved on, Damian has moved on, me on the other hand can't, since mom won't let me!"

"But Peeta don't talk like this, even though we've moved on, doesn't mean that we don't care about _you_!" Adam says. "You're our baby brother, you'll always be our brother and we'll always love you no matter what, I thought you knew that by now after everything!"

I thought so to. I mean I do know that, but I'm scared. That's nothing I'm going to admit to Adam or to anyone else, only to myself when I'm drunk. But that's the truth. I'm scared of being forgotten. Being left behind. But I also know that at some point I will be. "For now maybe", I mutter and walk away from Adam, leaving him to stand by himself.

Maybe I'm a push over. Too kind for my own good. I don't want to be that anymore. And I think I've made that point very clear. At least to Gale, Finnick, Annie, Madge and now Adam. Maybe I come off as a jerk, but that doesn't really bother me anymore. I like not being this kind and caring guy. I mean why _should_ I be the kind and caring guy? What do I get out of it if people take advantage of it? Like Katniss for example. I thought she loved me, but _clearly_ I was wrong. She left me without a word and even a second thought about me. What really hurts me is that I really _do_ love her. Still. Why do I love her when she has hurt me so badly? I don't even know why I do that to myself.

I see a bench. Maybe I should sit down for a bit. I'm really feeling sick now and everything has started to spin around in my head. I walk up to the bench and sits down. Or I thought I did. What I actually did was to miss the bench and fall down to the ground onto my butt. I groan and lay down on my back as well. God I'm pathetic.

"Oh god! Sir are you alright?" I hear someone ask.

A pair of hands helps me up onto my feet and then to sit down on the bench. I have a big headache now. I look at the person beside me and see a girl, about my age I would say. She has blond hair and green eyes.

"Yeah", I say with my hand to my head. "Thanks".

She looks at me and frowns. "Are you sure? Because to be frank, you stink and I think you're drunk", she says.

"So you want a medal?" I spit out. The girl raises one eyebrow and stands up. She walks a few steps. "No wait", I shout, sighing. The girls stops and turns around. She looks at me. "I'm sorry I just... You didn't really caught me in the best of times", I say.

She frowns and walks up to me. She sits down beside me. "Yeah well it can always get better", she says.

"I don't think so", I say laughing bitterly and lifeless.

I just don't think it will be.

"Not if you're that pessimistic", she laughs. "Come on just look at the sun".

I raise my eyebrow.

"The sun?" I ask.

"Yeah for as long as the sun shines, there are hopes of life and happy endings", the girl says.

"I don't think so", I say. "I'm Peeta by the way".

"It will, believe me", she says smiling. "And I'm Vanessa".


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

 _Katniss_

I wake up with my heart pounding in my chest. Almost jumping out of it. I had a nightmare again. I have the nightmares more often nowadays. Johanna says that it might be my feelings of guilt that causes my nightmares, and that I should take that as a sign to return home.

I sit up with my legs over the edge of my bed. I put my hand over my head and breathe in deeply. Tears are flowing from my eyes. My heart is still pounding so hard. I stand up on wobbly legs. I walk into my bathroom and look in the mirror. I'm sickly pale. And my eyes are red and puffy. My face is swollen, but that's a part of being pregnant, not from a nightmare. I hate my nightmares, and I hate what they do to me. How they make me feel and how they affect me.

I turn on the water in the sink. I close my eyes and listen to the water flow. It calms me down. I cup my hands and let water fill, before I splash it in my face. I repeat three more times. It's cold and it wakes me up. I don't even bother to dry my face, I just turn of the the water before I walk out of the bathroom back into my room. I take my green silk nightgown and put it on me before I walk out of my room.

I walk down the stairs to the kitchen. I make myself a cup of tea. I don't really have an appetite right now. I know that's it's important to eat when you're pregnant, since you eat for two and the baby needs nutrition, but I'm feeling a little sick after the nightmare so I can't eat now. I'll just eat something later.

I sit down in the couch in the living room and turn on the tv. There's not really much to see, so I just watch something on the cooking channel. But after a while I get bored. Why do I even watch cooking shows? I can't even cook, I'm a terrible cook. I poison everyone who eats my food, even _myself_. I turn off the tv and walk back to my room where I put on some clothes. I braid my hair in a braid. I look at the clock on my wall and see that it's only 7:53 am.

I walk back down and this time to the hall. I put on some boots and walk out of the house and lock the door because Prim and Haymitch are still asleep. It's cool outside and I like it. It calms me and it feels good to breathe in the air in my lungs. I don't really know where to go, so I just walk towards the woods. I love the woods. As I walk I hear the birds, they're awake and alert. That's how you know it's morning, hearing the birds whistle their songs. I whistle and they whistle after me. That's one thing I can do and has inherited from my father, that birds tend to like it when we whistle and sing, if we whistle they whistle our tune and if we sing they whistle the melody to our songs.

I walk on the path in the woods. Usually I don't walk the path, usually when I'm in the woods I climb the rocks and the high ground but I can't do that now when I'm seven months pregnant. So I'm stuck with the path.

The sunlight is beaming through the trees, lighting up the woods slightly. Even though the trees are good as a shelter I can feel the wind lightly caressing my cheeks. Suddenly I hear something. I stop. What was that? I shake my head. It was probably nothing. I start walking again. But then I hear it again. I stop to listen. At first I think I'm imagining, but then I hear it again. It sounds like... A dog I think. A dog who whimpers.

I follow the sound and when I can get it the clearest I stop and look around. I see a woman with a puppy. A long-haired German Shepard. The woman is whipping the dog with the dog leash. The puppy whimpers again. My eyes widen. Poor puppy. I take out my phone and call the police. They tell me to stop the woman but to keep her here without telling her that I've called them.

I put the phone back. And walk towards the woman who hasn't seen me yet. "Stop it!" I yell and walk up to the horrible woman.

"This is none of your business girl!" The woman says.

"Don't hurt the poor puppy", I say holding the tears inside of me. "Can't you see it's hurt and afraid?"

The puppy has its tail between its legs. When dogs does that, it means that they're either scared or angry.

"She didn't listen to me!" The woman hisses, and whips the puppy again.

"Stop!" I yell. "You're nothing but a dog taskmaster!"

I'm so close to start crying. First of all I'm very hormonal and second of all, I can't bare to see people treat dogs or other animals this way. I love animals and especially dogs. Suddenly I hear running steps and sees two police men.

They arrest the woman who is very angry about this.

"Can I have the puppy? I can't bare to let it go, she's so scared", I ask one of the police men. "I can provide a good home for it".

He nods. "You'll have to sign some papers though, so just come with us to the station", he says.

So I follow them down to the station and sign some papers. I'm not the owner of this puppy who I gave the name Leyla. She's so afraid and shakes. I have her in my arms. She has wounds and is bleeding. Poor puppy.

Before I walk home I walk to the pet store. I buy food, dog bowls, one for food and one for water. I buy some toys and dog shampoo, I buy a dog leash and a dog collar. And I buy a bed.

I call a taxi and it drives me home. When the taxi stops outside my house I pay the driver and then ask him to help me with the bags. He helps me. I open the door and the smell of breakfast hits my nose. Haymitch and Prim has to be awake now. I look at the clock, it's 10:02. I've been out for two hours. We put down the bags and I say goodbye to the driver.

I close the door behind him.

"Katniss?" Prim shouts and the puppy whimpers low.

She's scared. "Shh don't be scared, it's just Prim, she's kind", I say, rocking the puppy.

In a few months she'll be too heavy to lift. Prim comes running and stops when she sees the puppy in my arms. "Who's this?" she asks.

"Long story", I say.

We walk in to Haymitch in the kitchen and he looks very confused when he sees the puppy in my arms. I tell them both about everything and Prim starts crying.

"Oh poor puppy", she cries and takes the puppy from my arms.

Prim cries as she hugs Leyla.

"Is the dog going to get along with the evil cat?" Haymitch asks.

"Buttercup is not _evil_ ", Prim says. "I think they'll be best friends".

I have a hard time to be as positive as Prim about that. Maybe they'll get along but they will not be best friends. We'll just have to teach Leyla to be kind to the stupid cat, because no matter how much I want to get rid of it, Prim loves it. And when you speak of the devil... I see Buttercup walk into the kitchen. He hisses when he sees Layla who whimper.

Prim walks to Buttercup and sits down on her knees. "Buttercup this is Leyla, she's our puppy and she's been through a lot and you have to be very kind to her, you understand?" Prim says.

Say what you want about Buttercup, he's evil, stupid and I _know_ that he's out to get me, but he does love Prim, anyone can see that. He strokes against Prim's knee, showing her that he understand.

Prim lower Leyla a bit and hold her on front of Buttercup. He licks her nose and she whimpers, scared.

My poor puppy. "Prim be careful", I say.

"I am", she says and stands up.

I walk out to the hall to get the bags. When I walk back into the kitchen, I put the bags on the table. I take out the bag of food and the bowls. Haymitch fills the bowls with food and water. Prim puts Leyla onto the table. She smells the bowls and backs away from them. She's too afraid to eat. "She'll eat when she feels safe enough", Haymitch says.

"I hope so", I say feeling down.

I hope that Leyla will understand that we will not harm her in any kind of way. But I guess that takes time. We will just have to show Leyla all our love. That's what dogs has to have. Love. And that's what I am going to give her.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

 _Peeta_

When I wake up I feel sick. I throw the cover off me and sprint to the bathroom. I throw up into the toilet. I'm sober again. Ugh I don't want to be sober. I wash my mouth and walk back to my room. I put some clothes on before I hear my phone call. "Hello?" I ask as I answer the phone.

 _"Hey Peeta, it's Vanessa_ ", some girl says.

Vanessa? Who's Vanessa? "I'm sorry who?" I ask, almost sound apologizing.

"So _I'm guessing you're sober now huh_?" She asks laughing.

Unfortunately. "And you are?" I ask.

" _Oh we met yesterday, you were going to sit on a bench, I helped you up and we talked, I asked if we could meet again when you're sober and you gave me your number_..." She says helping me to remember.

Oh. I do remember her vaguely. Blond, green eyes, talking about the sun... "Oh yeah", I say when the memory hits me.

" _So you want to meet up in the park?"_ She asks.

"Sure", I say. "When?"

" _Half an hour_?" She says.

"Okay", I say.

" _Bye Peeta_ ", she says.

"Bye", I say.

I hang up the phone and put it in my pocket.

My head is hurting like crazy.

I walk to the kitchen. I have boxes everywhere. I moved to an apartment two weeks ago. I had to move back home since I got kicked out of my old apartment. My dad liked having me back and he was sad to see me go a second time, but my mother was so happy to get rid of me the first time so she's overjoyed this time. I still have to see her in the bakery, but not when I'm home.

I fill a glass with water and drink thirsty, and I take something for the pain. I open up the window and take up my pack of cigarettes with the lighter. The smoking helps with the pain. Not my headache, but with everything else. When I've smoked my cigarette I walk to the bathroom and put some hair wax in my hair. I dress in a pair of light blue jeans and an orange t-shirt. I take my sunglasses and put them on, before I take my phone to put in my pocket and my keys.

I walk to the hall and open the door. I lock it after me and then walk down the stairs. I don't like taking the elevator. When I come down I walk out of the entrance and walk out in the sun. It's November but still hot as hell.

I live pretty close to the park, so it doesn't take me very long to get there. I walk into the park, looking for Vanessa and then I see her. I slide my sunglasses up on my head. She sees me and waves as she smiles big. She runs up to me.

"Hey Peeta!" She says loud as she throws her arms around my neck to pull me into a hug.

"Hey", I say as she still holds me in the hug. She's a little clingy, but oh well.

"How are you?" She asks and strokes my arm with her hand.

I shrug. "Dunno", I say.

We start walking.

"You seem down", she says.

Oh do I? Well I _feel_ down. I'm not happy anyways, that much I know.

I shrug again.

"You don't talk much when you're not drunk do you?" Vanessa asks giggling.

"Nah", I say short.

She giggles and hooks her arm around mine. I look at our arms. I don't have the energy to tell her to take her arm away. It's harmless. We sit down on the very green grass. People are having picnics, children are running around playing. Teenagers are making out. Old people are doing what old people do. The park is full of life, yet I feel dead inside. We sit there silent. I don't know what to say. I don't even know what I'm doing here. I just want to drink so much. Ugh. I take up my pack of cigarettes. I put it between my lips and light it with the lighter.

"You smoke?" Vanessa asks.

"Problem with that?" I ask.

"Nope, I smoke myself", she says and takes up her own pack of cigarettes. "Can borrow your lighter?"

I give her my lighter. I breathe in and out. The smoking calms me down. She gives me back my lighter and I put it back in my pocket.

"So what do you do for a living?" She asks. "When it's not Sunday's?"

"Art teacher", I mumble. "At the middle school".

"Oh, how can you handle those monsters?" Vanessa asks wrinkling her nose.

I raise my eyebrows. "You don't like kids?" I ask.

"Hate them" she says. "They're so annoying, screaming, dirty ugh no".

I love kids, they're always so happy and brings joy. "So what do you work with?" I ask.

"I'm a stripper", she says. "Easy money and it's a lot".

A stripper? I'm sitting in the park, smoking with a stripper. "Okay", I say unsure.

She has something in her eyes I can't read. Hm. After about two minutes she takes my hand in hers. She leans closer to me and then crash her lips onto mine. _What is she doing?_ When she pulls away she looks me into my eyes.

"Peeta would you like to go in a date with me?" She asks.

What? Would I want that? I really don't know.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

 _Peeta_

I told Vanessa that I had to think. She asked me out on a date but I'm not sure I should say yes to it. Should I go out with her? Am I ready? Do I want to? I don't know, what should I do?

I'm standing in my painting studio. I have two rooms in my apartment, one is my bedroom and the other one I made as my painting studio. I love painting. When smoking can't help me, painting is the only other thing that can. I don't know what I'm painting, I'm just letting my hand paint something. I don't pay much attention to it, I'm in too deep thoughts.

I told Finnick and Gale about this girl. They said that they have bad feeling about her, that something just doesn't add up with her. At first I figured that they're just jealous, but I trashed that thought pretty fast, they have girlfriends who they love very much. I think that _I'm_ the jealous one, I can't be with the one I love.

I told Vanessa about Katniss and how much I love her still, after she asked me out on the date. She just shrugged and told me that the date could be a way to forget about Katniss. Do I want to forget about Katniss? Do I want to forget how she made me feel, how she made me smile and how she made me feel _important_?

Before Katniss I never felt important, like someone needed me. I have two older brothers that _I_ need, but they have each other as well. Dad loves me, I know, but he has two other sons as well, mom, well she hates me. My friends can get other friends. Let's face it, I'm the only one who needs _them_ , but they don't need me, so when I met Katniss she made me feel like she needed me, that I was important to her. But then again, she left me, which has to mean that she didn't really need me.

I take a pause from the painting and walk up to the window. I open it and sit on the end. I take up my pack of cigarettes and my lighter. I put the cigarette between my lips and light it. God it feels good. I'm not proud over the fact that I smoke, I'm not. But it helps. And as long as it help, I'm going to continue. Everytime Annie and Madge sees me smoking they hit the cigarette out of my hand. I always get angry and we start fighting. Just as in Katniss apartment all those months ago.

I remember when I first met them and Katniss at Mallorca. They were sweet and Katniss was defensive. They said that it was because she's not a people person. But somehow Finnick, Gale and I managed to become friends with her. Madge told me that it took time for her and Annie to become friends with Katniss. She always suspected them to be spies for Delly Cartwright, the girl who made Katniss an outcast, and the reason she was being bullied. They said that Katniss told them she couldn't believe how anyone would want to know her. I know I wanted her our whole high school time but she wouldn't let me. She's amazing, sweet and caring.

So why did she leave me? She told me she loved me, was that all pretend? Is there a reason to why she left? If there is, why couldn't she tell me? I don't understand. I don't understand anything at all. I'm so confused. I should just go on in life. Accept the fact that Katniss left me and is not coming back. Forget how happy she made me, forget how she made me smile and made me feel. Forget how much I love her. Maybe I can go on with Vanessa? Okay I doubt that. She doesn't like kids, she said she hates them, but I love them. I definitely can not see a future with her. I can't even see my own future. Maybe I'll end up like Katniss uncle. Drunk and alone with Tiara disliking me, like Katniss dislikes her uncle. She told me about him and how she feels about drunk people. I've become one of those drunk people.

I look at the flask I have on a little stool beside the canvas. I put out the cigarette and return to the canvas where I take up my flask put it to my mouth. I drink, and drink. I put it back down and start painting again. I just let my hand continue with what it did earlier. I don't really care, I just smear some paint over the canvas.

Why does life have to be a pain in the ass sometime? Should I go on the date? Should I call Vanessa and tell her yes? I know that my friends will be angry if I do, they told me so, they have made it _very_ clear that they do not like Vanessa. Annie and Madge are angry. They say that it's something suspicious about Vanessa, that normal girls would never be that clingy with a guy she just met. They think she is going to drag me into something I'll regret later on.

The fact that my friends does not support this and does not want me to go out with Vanessa, makes me want to go out with her just to annoy them.

Hmmm... Is that the best reason to go out with a girl I don't know yet? I don't know. I don't know what it is, maybe it's the alcohol, or maybe it's the depression, either way, I stick my hand into my pocket to lift up my phone.

" _Hello_?"

"Hey Vanessa?"

" _Oh helloo Peeta_!" Vanessa says.

"So I've been thinking about that date..." I say.

" _And_...?"

"Let's do it", I say.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

 _Katniss_

Today it's Christmas Eve. Prim, Haymitch and I are going with Johanna and Delly to a Christmas fair. It's something they do every year in this town. We used to be here during Christmas when my parents were alive. It's only for a few hours, from 9:00 am to 2:00 pm, so five hours. They have games, collaborative exercises, light food to buy and during the last hour everyone gather around a stage where people can go up and sing Christmas songs. And no I do not remember this by heart, I was only a kid when I last were there, but Rue told Prim and me, and Johanna and Delly has also told some. It's suppose to be really fun.

"Prim come on! We're all ready to go but you!" I yell. We are all standing in the hallway, Johanna, Delly, Haymitch and I. Prim is not here, she's still upstairs in her room.

"I'm coming!" She yells back.

A few seconds later she comes running down the stairs.

"Are you sure that you have the energy for all of this sweetheart?" Haymitch asks.

Haymitch has stopped drinking. He don't want the baby to be around a drunk old man. At first I got irritated, Prim and I were children when he got us, why didn't he think of this earlier? But then I got pretty happy because he realized that it's not good and I figured that it's better late than ever. He has become really caring actually. I'm in the eight month of my pregnancy, that's why he's asking me this. I do feel tired and my back hurts, my feet are swollen and hurt. But I do want to go to this Christmas fair with my family and friends. I do wish that Madge and Annie were here, they're both my family and friends, and I want Peeta to be here as well. But they're not. I still want to have a cozy Christmas. "Yeah of course", I say. "Let's go".

Delly opens the door and everyone walks out. Haymitch locks it and everyone sits in the car. It's five seats and we're five persons. I sit down in the passenger seat and Haymitch behind the wheel, he don't want me to drive now when I'm this pregnant.

At first when Haymitch met Delly, he got upset. He remembers what she did to me and how she made me feel and made me to do to myself. He couldn't understand how I could have forgiven her. Prim had the same feelings as Haymitch. But they said that they'd give her a chance to prove that she has changed. So slowly Delly has gained Haymitch and Prim's trust. Prim really loves Delly now and Delly is very fond of Prim. Everyone who meets Prim grows fond of her, there is no way to stop it.

We spin around for like five minutes before Haymitch finds a spot to park the car. The whole town is here. This is a tradition for this town. We all walk out. Prim runs into the fair with Delly and they disappear. Johanna and Haymitch stays with me. Haymitch never leaves my side right now. He want to be near me if anything should happen a little earlier, let's say I go into labour.

"I hope we find them later", I mumble.

"Don't count on it Kat", Johanna laughs. I giggle and hook my arm around Johanna's arm and Haymitch walk beside me with his hand on my back.

There really are a lot of people here. We walk around watching people play games and have fun. I buy cotton candy, I haven't had cotton candy since before mom and dad died. It's not good at all but I eat it all either way. Now when I'm pregnant I've become such a sweet tooth, I was not before. I steal a few of Haymitch sugar roasted almonds, now _they_ were good!

"Hey Katniss!"

I turn around. Who knows my name? Rue. Aahh, I sigh in relief. "Not that loud Rue, remember I'm Jennifer outside the house", I the her as she hugs me.

"Oh right", she giggles. "This is my big brother Thresh".

I shake hands with the big muscular boy named Thresh.

"Nice to meet you, Rue won't shut up about you and your sister", Thresh says.

I giggle. Oh Rue.

"Where's Pri... Willow?" Rue asks.

"I don't know, she ran away with Delly", I say looking around.

"I'm Johanna", Johanna says reaching her hand to Thresh.

They shake hands and look at each other weird. What is Johanna doing? Is she going to fall in love now? Oh that's just great.

"There she is!" Rue shouts suddenly.

"Pri... Damn! _Willow_! Hey Willow!" Rue shouts and runs up to Prim who comes walking towards us with Delly.

Prim is holding the biggest panda bear I've ever seen in my life.

"Where did you get that?" I ask her, when they come up to us.

"Delly won it to me in one the games", she says happily. "Isn't it cute?"

"Don't we have enough of big stuffed animals at home?" I laugh thinking of that enormously big teddy bear Delly bought for the baby.

Prim shakes her head.

"You have a thing for big animals right?" I ask Delly and she just laughs.

We walk around winning more stuff, and I watch while the others join a collaborative exercises, I can't do it, I'm too big, but I really don't mind watching it, it's actually more fun than to be with. They look really funny.

After a few hours everyone starts gathering around stage. The songs are about to start. There are some people singing good, and some singing bad. Haymitch is one of the bad once. He sang _Santa Claus is coming to town_. It sounded terrible but the children liked it. After Haymitch sang, a man went up on stage to ask for volunteers.

Prim pushed me and shouted: "I have a volunteer right here mr!"

So that's how I ended up on stage. I told the musician what song I'm going to sing. I don't want to sing in front of people. I do not, even if I'm good at it. I don't like singing in front of people, and no, I do not have stage fright. I decided to sing one of the two songs that I know by hearts the other song is a New Years song, so it doesn't fit in here. But this one does. I close my eyes. I breath in deep. I breath out, keeping my eyes still closed. I start singing.

 _Oh yeah, mmm_  
 _Have yourself a merry little Christmas_  
 _Let your heart be light_  
 _From now on your troubles will be out of sight, yeah_

 _Have yourself a merry little Christmas_  
 _Make the Yuletide gay_  
 _From now on your troubles will be miles away, oh_

 _Here we are as in olden days_  
 _Happy golden days of yore, ah_  
 _Faithful friends who are dear to us_  
 _They gather near to us once more, ooh_

 _Through the years we all will be together and_  
 _If the fates allow_  
 _Hang a shining star upon the highest bow, oh yeah, oh_  
 _And have yourself a merry little Christmas now, oh, oh_

 _Faithful friends who are dear to us_  
 _They gather near to us once more, oh, oh_

 _Through the years we all will be together and_  
 _If the fates allow, oh yeah_  
 _But 'til then we'll have to muddle through somehow, oh yeah, oh, oh_  
 _And have yourself a merry little Christmas now, ooh yeah, oh, ooh_

I slowly open my eyes under the last tone of the song. When I've stopped singing, I notice that everyone are looking at me with their mouths wide open. Like they can't understand that the voice belongs to me. The children's eyes are so big when they look at me, they're so cute. Children are so adorable.

"Um... Thank you", I say before hurrying off the stage.

I rush up to the others as fast as I can with my big belly.

"My god!" Delly says when I arrive.

"What was that?" Johanna asks.

"Was it bad?" I ask worried.

"Are you kidding?! No! It was beautiful, Haymitch cried", Delly says.

"Did _not_!" Haymitch says in an unsteady voice.

I look at him. Red and puffy eyes.

"Oh so you're just allergic to something than? Making your eyes all read and puffy?" Thresh asks slyly.

"Yeaahhh..."

"What?" I ask narrowing my eyes at my uncle.

"Your singing voice", he says.

I giggle and hug my silly uncle.

Someone comes up to us.

"Jennifer Everdeen?" She asks.

"Yeah?"

"My name is Cressida and I'm in charge of the New Years program that is sending the 12 o'clock New Years song, and I would want you to sing it", she says.

 _What?_ "What?" I ask.

"Could you sing it?" She asks.

"It would be broadcast?" I ask.

"Yeah around the whole country", she says.

"Um..." I don't know about this. What if Peeta watches it and sees that I'm pregnant? "On two conditions", I say.

"Name it", Cressida says.

"I want it to be broadcasts from my living room, I won't be able to go anywhere pretty soon as you may see", I say, caressing my belly. She nods. "And... Can you make me look... None pregnant? You know with makeup and fabric and yeah you understand".

She nods.

"I think that is not going to be a problem. We have an amazing designer", Cressida says. "He's name is Cinna and he can do _anything_ ".

"Then yeah, I'll sing".

* * *

 **A/N: Hey everyone. I thought that I'd put in a little note here to tell you that it's the Christina Augilera version on the song Katniss sings, _Have yourself a merry little Christmas._**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

 _Peeta_

Today I have my date with Vanessa. I don't know how it's going to go, and I don't know what to expect. I'm knew to this whole dating thing. I didn't want to date in high school, since I didn't get to date the girl I wanted to date. Then when I got her we didn't really do on dates. Now with Vanessa it's a real date. I bought flowers because I know that guys usually buys flowers to the girls they're going on a date with. _I think_. Oh well.

Vanessa says that I should pick her up at her apartment and then we'll go to one of her stripper friends party. I'm not really a party guy but what the heck?

I walk out of the apartment and walk down to the taxi that I called. I tell him the address and he drives me there. I tell him to wait and walk out of the car and call on the building phone. Vanessa answers and let's me in. When I come up to her apartment the door is already opened and she stands there. She has a dress that... Or I _think_ it's a dress, it's like a bikini upwards and down to her waist its forms as a mini skirt. Okay I've never seen a dress like that and I'm not sure I like it, it's very, _very_ revealing. "Peeta!" She shouts as she throws her arms around my neck and crashes her lips onto mine. She forces her tongue into my mouth. At first I don't want to let her into my mouth but then I give up knowing she won't stop kissing me before I give in, and we have to get down to the taxi.

She pulls away and I give her the flowers. "Oh Peeta they are beautiful", she says and runs into her apartment. She comes back out without the flowers and locks the door. We walk out to the taxi and Vanessa tells him the address of the party.

When we arrive I pay the driver. The party is very loud when we get out of the car. We walk up to the house and Vanessa knocks on the door. A black haired girl opens the door. "Nessa! I'm so glad you came!" She screams happily.

"Hey Jady", Vanessa says. "This is Peeta".

Jady looks at me. "Hubba hubba!" She says and winks at me.

"Claws off Jady, he's mine!" Vanessa laughs.

I am? We've never said that. I know for sure I'm _not_ her boyfriend anyways. Annie, Madge, Finnick and Gale asked me not to go out with Vanessa. They think she's a bad influence on me. Makes me drink more and and smoke more often. They don't like the fact that she's a stripper. I don't care what they say though. Why should I?

We walk in to the party. Girls are grinding on guys and a lot of couples are making out. I can even see a couple in the couch having sex. Gross, who the hell has sex this public in the middle of a party?

Vanessa gives me a cup with liquid. I drink it immediately and then she grabs my hands and pulls me out to the dance floor. We start dancing. I suck at dancing and Vanessa seems to see that, she puts her hands on my waist and helps me to move the way she does. She pulls me closer and then she moves both her hands from my waist to my butt. She squeezes it and giggles. What is she doing? "Vanessa..." I'm about to tell her to take away her hands but she crashes her lips onto mine. She jumps up in my arms and I have no choice but to put my hands under her. I put my hands under her legs instead of her butt, I don't feel like touching her that way yet.

I back off the dance floor and hit the wall by accident. Maybe Vanessa thinks I hit it on purpose because she clings harder onto me and kisses me more aggressively. I don't like being this public with these stuff.

She jumps off me and takes my hand and runs to the right with me on tow. She runs into a room and pushes me onto it. I look around. A bedroom. _Oh no_. I hear how she locks the door. _Fuck_. She jumps onto me again and I fall down onto the bed. _What is she doing_? She kisses me, her hands track down to my crotch and she slink her hands under my pants and boxers and fingers on my penis. It starts to raise without my permission.

But soon I feel lost. I can't feel _anything_. The only thing I feel is dizziness. I feel dizzy and everything is spinning. It even feels as if the bed is spinning. She pulls off her dress, leaving her only in her bra and panties. She turn us around and pulls away my shirt and I help her with taking off my pants. She grabs my boxers with her teeth and pulls them off. She kisses my stomach and down to my crotch. She kisses my balls before she grabs my friends and puts it in her mouth. I'm not aware of so much more. The only thing I know is that I don't want to do what's happening, but I can't stop it because I don't know how when it feels like I'm hundred miles away.

I don't know what's happening to me.

•

I wake up with a big headache. I look around and see that I'm not in my apartment.

Someone is lying beside me. I look at that someone and see Vanessa. She's naked. I look at myself and see that I'm also naked. I start to panic but then I notice that the comdom is still on my penis. Ugh. I take it off. I stand up and start to dress myself.

"Good morning baby", I hear Vanessa says tired. "What are you doing?"

"We shouldn't have done that", I say, feeling sick of myself.

"Yes we should've, it was amaaazing", she says, sitting up over the covers.

I sit down on my knees to fix my shoes. When I look up I find myself looking right into Vanessa's pussy. "What are you _doing_?" I ask looking further up at Vanessa, feeling irritated.

"Wanna do it again?" She asks. "You liked it yesterday".

"No I do _not_ ", I say closing her legs as I stand up again. "We shouldn't have _done_ that, I'm a bad guy".

She pulls me down over her naked body. "Very very bad indeed", she purrs in my ear and kisses my neck.

"Vanessa! Stop it!" I say and stand up on the floor again. "I love someone else! You _know_ I love Katniss and either way you seduced me!"

"Yeah with help from the drugs", she giggles.

What now? "Excuse me?" I ask. "You _drugged_ me?"

"Yeah, I knew you wouldn't have sex with me if you knew what you were doing", she says, sitting up and spreads her legs so I get the view of her pussy. "And I wanted so badly to have sex with you since I'm so _attracted_ to you".

"You're _sick_! That sweet girl from the park who helped me when I was drunk, where did she go?" I ask.

"She never really existed, but I had to come up with something right? You're so hot", she says.

"You're sick! I will never love you, no matter where Katniss is and no matter if she never comes back, I will love her _always_!" I shout. "You drugged me to have sex with you, you're really _sick_!"

I walk towards the door, unlock it and storm out. I walk past all of the people lying on the floor naked or drugged or puking. I don't call a taxi, I have to walk, I need air to clear my head. I should've listened to my friends. Why didn't I? Vanessa was a bad influence and see what she did to me? She basically raped me because I didn't know what I was doing, the drugs controlled me.

It's true what I told Vanessa, I will always love Katniss, no matter what and I will always wait for her to come back. I come home to my apartment. I walk into my painting studio and look at what I painted a few days ago. First _now_ I see what I actually painted.

Katniss.

I painted Katniss. How did I not realize that before? I painted _Katniss_.

I fall down on my knees in front of the canvas and cry into my hands. I'm never going to get over Katniss. I'm doomed. I will never get my life back on track. I love Katniss too much, and she _left_ me. That hurts so much to think about, that she doesn't love me while I love her so much.

"Katniss..." I cry. "Katniss please come back home".


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

 _Katniss_

Today it's new year. Tonight it will be 2015. If you ask me, 2014 has gone by too fast. Right now I'm in my bedroom getting dressed. Not by myself though. I agreed on being the one singing the New Years song on tv, but on one condition, that they would dress me a way that made me look more... Well, _not_ pregnant. Right now they're doing my makeup. I got three assistants to do that. They are suppose to make my face look skinnier and not swollen. They are experts on what they do, so I hope they succeed.

Venia, Octavia and Flavius, really likes to talk. They won't shut up and not matter how much I try I can't make them stop talking. I just try to zone out. But that's not very easy.

"There", Venia says. "Now your swollen face doesn't look swollen anymore".

"Really? Can I see?" I ask trying to turn towards the mirror but they stop me.

"No no no no! Cinna doesn't want you to look in the mirror before you have the clothes on!" Flavius shouts.

"Okay okay", I say holding up my hands in peace.

Octavia slinks out the door and then she comes back with Cinna. The man who has designed my clothes. He has the clothes with him. He tells the assistants to go out and leave us. He dresses me in the clothes. It's a pair of blue jeans an a t-shirt and over that another shirt. "Now you can look", he says.

I turn around and look in the mirror. Wow. I do not look pregnant what so ever. The assistant were right about my face. And I don't know how Cinna did this with the clothes though. "Oh my god", I say and feel on my stomach. Oh yes, I can feel the big belly, but I can't _see_ it in the mirror. "Is this magic?" I ask.

"Oh yes, the magic of fabric", Cinna laughs. "You don't know half of the things I can _do_ with fabric".

"I'm starting to understand", I mumble in amazment.

I walk out of the room and when I reach the living room everyone becomes silent and looks at me. "Are you sure you're eight months pregnant?" Delly asks with big eyes.

"It's all Cinna's doing", I giggle.

Cressida smiles. She turns to the camera men. "Katniss this is your camera men, Castor and Pollux", she says.

I smile at them. They fix the last things. And soon I have a spotlight on me and it's time to sing.

* * *

 _Peeta_

The guys are forcing me to spend time with them today on New Year's Eve. I don't want to, but I have no choice, they're in my apartment and refusing to leave me alone. "Why are you doing this to me?" I sigh as they all sit down looking at the tv.

Annie put some New Years program on the tv. They talk and laugh in the tv in some studio. And wait for the new year to come. It's about three minutes until midnight and year 2015. I don't see a meaning with a new year or new hopes.

"Now when it's only three minutes until midnight, we're going to hear our traditional New Years song, this year, preformed by Jennifer Everdeen.

I choke on my cider. _What?_ I don't know a an Everdeen named Jennifer. Only Katniss and Primrose. I look closely at the tv and sees how it now starts to film a blond girl, standing in front of a microphone.

"Katniss..." I whisper and dart down on the floor in front of the tv. She dyed her hair blond? Changed her name? She really don't want me to find her. She's so beautiful. "Katniss..." I whisper again and put my hand onto the tv and on Katniss.

"Oh my god..." I hear Annie whisper.

Katniss starts singing.

 _Should old acquaintance be forgot_  
 _And never brought to mind_  
 _Should all acquaintance be forgot_  
 _And auld lang syne_

 _For auld lang syne, my dear,_  
 _For auld lang syne,_  
 _We'll take a cup o' kindness yet,_  
 _For auld lang syne_

 _And surely you will buy your cup_  
 _And surely I'll buy mine_  
 _And we'll take a cup o'kindness yet_  
 _For auld lang syne_

 _We too have run around the slopes_  
 _And picked the daisies fine_  
 _We've londoned many weary foot_  
 _Since auld lang syne_

 _For auld lang syne, my dear,_  
 _For auld lang syne,_  
 _We'll take a cup o' kindness yet,_  
 _For auld lang syne_

 _We too have paddled in the stream_  
 _From morning sun to night_  
 _But the seas between us broad have roared_  
 _From auld lang syne_

 _For auld lang syne, my dear,_  
 _For auld lang syne,_  
 _We'll take a cup o' kindness yet,_  
 _For auld lang syne_  
 _We'll take a cup o'kindness yet_  
 _For auld langs syne_

She smiles and bows. The tv goes black and we end up in the studio again. "Thank you Jennifer", they say.

"Her name is _Katniss_ you idiots!" I scream as I stand up. " _Katniss_!"

I feel how tears flows down my eyes. I take up my glass and throws it into the wall. I also smash the bowl we had chips in, into the wall, and the others glasses. "Peeta! Peeta calm down!" They all shout as they're trying to calm me down. But I just continue to smash and destroy things. I've _had_ it! Katniss doesn't care about me. She changed her name and dyed her hair just so I wouldn't recognize her. But does she think that just because she's blond, I wouldn't recognize her?

"This is the _worst_ start of a new year I've ever been a part of!" I scream as I fall down on the floor with a tight grip on my hair pulling it towards my knees. "Counting the new year between 2004 and 2005 when my mom shaved my hair and broke one of my ribs!"

"Peeta..." Annie says softly. "This means that Katniss wanted us to see her, to see that she's _alive_ and _okay_ ".

"But she's not here with me", I cry hoarse after all the yelling.

Why is this even happening? I don't understand why she left in the first place... Why did she leave?


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

 _Katniss_

I feel something flow out of me. I look down at the floor. Water. My water broke. I drop the cup I was holding and it falls to the ground, breaking into a million pieces. "Haymitch!" I yell in panic as the pain hits me. "Haymitch".

Haymitch comes running into the kitchen. "What's wrong?" he asks.

"My water broke", I say.

"Oh my god", he says and hurries up to me and helps me out of the kitchen. "Primrose!"

Prim comes running down the stairs. "Yeah?" She asks.

"We have to go to the hospital, you're sister is having the baby now", Haymitch says as he opens the door.

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod", Prim yells as she runs past Haymitch towards our car.

"We have to _ow_ , dive and pick up _OW_ Johanna and _OWW_ Delly", I say through the pain.

"There's no time, Prim can call them and tell them to meet us there", Haymitch says.

I guess I can't argue, it really feels as if I'm going to have the baby here in the car. I clench my legs together just to make sure no baby will pop out in the car. " _OWWW_ drive faster!", I roar out in pain. "I'm going to have the baby in the car!"

"Hold on sweetheart, we're almost there", Haymich says, and I can hear that he has a tone of panic in his voice.

" _OWWW_ ", I roar.

"Deep breaths Katniss, you've got to take deep breaths and try to calm down", Prim says from behind me.

Prim has been studying pregnancies, and not only pregnancies, she's has been studying to be a doctor. She's only in high school, but to get in to a good college she need to have excellent grades, and she does. I'm so very proud of my baby sister. I try to do what Prim tells me to do, but I can't concentrate on taking deep breaths, it hurts _too_ much. I've never felt pain more painful or more intense like this pain. But I guess that giving birth will be even worse. Oh god, what have I gotten myself into?

Suddenly the car stops. We're at the hospital now. Haymitch carries me up and hurries into the hospital with Prim holding one of my hands. He runs up to the reception. "My niece is having a baby now", he says panicking.

"Calm down sir", the woman says.

"Don't tell me to calm down, I've watched this girl grow up since she was in her _mother's belly_ and now _she's_ having a baby! So don't tell me to calm down when you see how much pain she's in! Just get her _help_!" Haymitch shouts.

I'm a little taken aback by his words. I didn't know he ever cared about me this much. Haymitch isn't someone who talks about his feelings. But when he does, you really get to know exactly how much you mean to him. And apparently I mean a great deal to my uncle.

A nurse rushes up to us with a wheelchair, and Haymitch puts me down in it. They wheel me down a hall and into a room where they put me in a bed. "I need my sister and my uncle here", I whine. "They've been with me for all these months I need them here for this as well". He nods and walks out of the room. A few minutes later he comes back into the room with Haymitch and Prim. They're wearing a green apron and hat, just like the nurses.

"Katniss", Prim says and hurries up to me. "Johanna and Delly are in the waiting room, with Thresh and Rue".

I nod, trying not to scream out in pain. I don't want to seem weak, I really want to keep my pain under control.

A doctor comes into the room to check me. "Well Katniss you're nine centimeters dilated, this escalated very quickly, so I'll say that you're ready to push in only ten to twenty minutes", he says.

"Oh my god..." Prim murmurs.

So they roll my bed out of the room and into a delivery room, where they fix me. I didn't know it was going to go this fast. I've heard horror stories about girls who's been in labour for like thirty five to forty hours or more. But I've been here for half an hour and they're already getting me ready to push.

The doctor checks me again and this time he nods and looks at me. "Yeah, you're ready to push", he says. "Whenever you feel a contraction, take a deep breath and push".

I nod. The contraction just went away, so I wait for the another. I realize that I haven't had time to get the epidural. Even though I _wait_ for the contraction, I'm startled when it comes. I take a beep breath and push as hard as I can. I try not to scream but that's impossible. It hurts too much.

" _OWW_!" I roar. "It freaking hurts!"

"We know, keep going", the doctor says.

"You don't know a _shit_! You're a guy!" I spat at him with a very high voice.

I push again. And again, and again.

"What's wrong with this damn baby? Why won't she come _out_?!" I roar.

"She's almost here, don't give up Katniss, you're doing _really_ great", the doctor says.

I feel the sweat drop down my forehead and my back. And my vagina stings and hurts like crazy. This is by far the worst thing I've _ever_ done in my life. Prim is standing by the doctor and Haymitch stays put by my head, holding my hand.

"The head is almost out Katniss, keep going", Prim says encouraging. "You're doing great".

I push again and again. And again.

"The head is out! Now the body!" Prim shouts clapping her hands.

"God it hurts!" I shout as I let a tear flow down my eyes. "God it hurts so much".

But I continue to push. What else can I do now? What other choice do have? I'm not left with a lot of options.

I push. Oh god it hurts. And that's when I hear a light baby scream.

"You _did_ it!" Prim cheers loudly as she jumps up and down, clapping her hands.

I sigh. Oh god. A nurse takes away my baby.

"No..." I say and try to sit up.

"They're only going to wash her sweetheart", Haymitch says, holding me back in the bed.

A few minutes later the nurse comes back with a little pink bundle. He puts the bundle in my arms. I look down at this beautiful, beautiful baby. I hear her fast breathing. Babies breathes fast.

"She's so precious", Haymitch says, stroking the baby's nose with one finger.

She opens her eyes and I'm taken aback. "Oh god..." I mumble.

Looking back at me is a pair of clear intense big blue eyes. _Exact_ copies of her fathers eyes.

The door opens and Prim comes in with Johanna, Delly, Thresh and Rue.

"Oh my god, she's so beautiful", Delly mumbles.

"Have you been thinking of any names?" Prim asks as she looks enchanted at the baby.

I nod.

"Yeah, I was thinking Elyon, I love that name", I say. "And two of my friends names as middle names, two that I think fits good together, Annie Johanna".

"They do fit together", Delly says happily.

I look at Johanna and she smiles at me.

"It's beautiful, just like her", Haymitch says. "Elyon Annie Johanna Everdeen".

My beautiful daughter.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

 _Katniss_

It's been about a year since the birth of my daughter Elyon. I've decided to go back now. To go back home.

Elyon can walk and everything now. She started walking very early actually, when she was only about four months she stood up by herself, and a month after she started walking. She can't talk yet that much of course and she has two teeth in her mouth. She is the happiest little girl I've ever known, and I'm so happy she's all mine. Delly and Johanna really loves her, Delly just continues to spoil her. Elyon really loves the big teddy bear Delly got her before she was born, she sits in its arms everyday, that's also where she usually takes her naps on nap time.

"Look who's here Elyon", I hear Prim's voice say in a baby voice and I turn around to see my baby girl walk into the kitchen, holding her aunts hand.

Elyon smiles when she see me stand here. "Hey baby girl", I say and carry her up.

The whole house is full of boxes, I don't even know how we collected all of these stuff. We've lived here for two years soon.

"Oh you're getting so big sweetheart", I say as I hold my life in my arms.

I never knew I could love someone this much. How much I could feel the urge to protect someone. That was before I gave birth to my daughter. I would do anything for her. For her and Prim, they're my two girls.

Haymitch walks into the kitchen. "Oh there's my princess", he says smiling at Elyon and takes her from me and into his arms.

Haymitch really, really loves Elyon. Ever since she was born he has been a completely new uncle. He's ... Happier. He's actually happy again. He used to be happy before, but that was before my father died. After the accident Haymitch became unhappy and started to drink. I barely remember him being happy before Elyon was born. Elyon is like Prim, she can bring a smile up on anyone's lips. You just simply love them. And there is nothing you can do about it.

Delly and Johanna comes into the kitchen. Elyon starts making sounds and stretches her arms towards Delly. She really loves Delly.

"Hey big girl", Delly says and takes Elyon into her arms. "Ugh you're getting sooo big".

"So are you all packed up?" I ask.

"Yep!" Johanna says, popping the p. "All of the boxes are ready to be packed into the car.

We have boxes all over the house. We're not taking every box with us. We're keeping this as a summer house just like our parents had. Elyon loves the empty boxes, she has so much fun with them and loves to play hide and seek with them.

"Great", I say.

I turn to my sister. "Have _you_ packed?" I ask her, knowing what answer I'll get.

"Not really, but we're not going until tomorrow!" She says defending herself.

"No what you're waiting for is for _me_ to go up and start packing your stuff", I say. "But I've got Elyon now, a _real_ baby, not a fake one like you".

Prim giggles. "I can help her pack", Delly says, giving Elyon to me.

I take Elyon in my arms, and place her on my waist.

"But Dell she's just lazy", I say.

"Hey if she wants to help me, she can help me, I don't see a _real_ baby on _her_ waist!" Prim says and everyone starts laughing.

Delly shoves Prim ahead of her, still laughing as they both run upstairs.

I sit down on a chair and put Elyon in my lap. Johanna sits down beside me and plays with Elyon's long dark hair. Elyon's hair is very long. Long and straight. Just like mine. With Peeta's big blue eyes. _Peeta_. I miss Peeta like crazy. I do regret leaving. And when I get back... What will he say?

"Nervous?" Johanna asks.

"That obvious?" I ask.

"Even a blind person can see that", Haymitch says.

"Excuse me, who invited you in the conversation?" I ask.

"I'm in the kitchen, anyone who's in the kitchen, is involved in the conversation", he says smart.

I roll my eyes and giggle. "Anyway, yeah, I'm pretty nervous", I say.

"Yeah Delly is too, she thinks that the whole town is going to burn her alive like a witch", Johanna says.

Poor Delly. I've noticed that she is nervous and she has the right to be. She left a town, where everyone hated her and now she returns. That's pretty strong though. She has gotten strong and kind.

I'm nervous about meeting Peeta. I guess he hates me after leaving him. But for Elyon's sake I hope he'll give me a chance.

 _Peeta please give me another chance._


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

 _Katniss_

We're sitting in our car. Johanna and Delly is in the car behind ours, and in that car, are Rue and Thresh as well. Elyon is in the backseat with Prim, and Haymitch is sitting in the passenger seat. Now I can drive again, since I'm not pregnant anymore, and not likely to go into labour any minute.

Elyon is starting to get irritated. She doesn't want to sit in the car anymore but we have two whole hours left. Leyla is in the car too of course. We have to take breaks so she can move a little, it's hard for dogs to take long car rides. She's so big now. She's not the little puppy I rescued a year ago. She's not scared anymore, she's the happiest most loving dog ever. She use to lie with Elyon on the floor and one paw protectively over her. It's so cute.

I pull in on a gas station. Everyone walk out of the cars and Prim takes out Elyon and gives her to me, before she takes out Leyla.

"I'll just take a quick walk", she says walking towards the little grass that is actually here.

I walk into the store with the others to buy drinks. A water for me and Haymitch and I know that Prim wants a Coke. She has to stop drinking soda, she drinks too much soda. Prim has been nervous these past hours. I think it hit her only a few hours ago that she will soon see Rory again. She'll soon know if he has forgotten about her these past two years. She says that Elyon keeps her calm.

"What do you want baby?" I ask Elyon.

She has her head on my shoulder as she looks at the drinks. I think she goes for the colors since she can't speak very well yet and definitely can't read. She points at an orange juice.

I pick it out, and walk towards the counter.

"Thwibss", it sounds like Elyon is trying to say something.

"Huh?" I ask, looking at her and so does the others.

"Oh my god, I can't believe this, her first word!" Delly exclaims and claps her hands together.

"I wouldn't call that a word though", Thresh says. "More like baby babble, you know baby talk, which adults has no experience in, it's like a whole different language".

I giggle and so does Johanna.

"Oh hush you, _now_ it's a word!" Delly says to Thresh.

"In what world?" Thresh argues.

"Okay you two, stop it, I think she want those butterfingers", Haymitch says.

"How would you know?" I ask as I look at him. "You speak baby language now?"

"I would want to say yes, but no", Haymitch says. "If you look at your daughter, though, you'll see that she is pointing at butterfingers".

I look at Elyon and yes she does. Oh.

"No sweetie, you only have two teeth", I say as I put the drinks on the counter. "But I know Prim loves them, soooo". I take up a pack of butterfingers and put them beside the drinks.

"Anything else?" The lady behind the counter asks.

"No, this would be all thanks", I say.

"Okay I'll be $9", she says.

I hand her the money and walk out of the store. Prim is waiting for us outside the car with Leyla.

"Here", I say and throw her the pack of butterfingers.

"Great", she says, as she helps Leyla up in the back of the car again.

Everyone sits in the cars and we continue to drive. Prim is sitting and shaking. I can see that Elyon can not calm her down anymore. As we're driving closer and closer to our home town, she starts to shake more and more. I look at her through the mirror and frown. She's pale. Is she really _that_ nervous? "Hey Prim calm down okay?" I say.

"Trying to", she says as she drinks from her Coke. "I'm just... I'm sure he has a new girlfriend, I mean why wouldn't he? He's so handsome and every girl on the planet likes him".

"Well if he loves you he doesn't", Haymitch says. "And if he has, screw him, you're as beautiful as your mother at the age of eighteen, you can find a guy that truly loves you".

"Thank you uncle", Prim says.

It seems like she's calming herself down a bit. She plays with Elyon's fingers. I smile and look straight at the road. When we enter Panem I get butterflies in my stomach. We pass the mall. That's where Peeta and I started over for the second time. I shake my head and just continue to drive. "Look Elyon, this is where mommy, auntie and old uncle Haymitch all grew up", I say as we drive through the town. "And now we're back".

"Yeah..." Prim says under her breath.

We left about two years ago, and now when we're back, I feel so different. I don't know what it is. Then finally, I stop the car. Outside my apartment.

"Home sweet home", I mumble quietly.

"Why does this not feel like home anymore?" Prim asks.

I understand what she means. Even though we're born and raised here, I feel like the biggest outsider, even more than I felt in high school. I feel like I don't belong here. Maybe we should have stayed away.

We walk out of the car and I take out Elyon and put her on my waist. Prim take out Leyla.

The rest join us by the car.

"Maybe we should just have stayed where we were", Prim says. "This doesn't feel right".

Johanna and Thresh found an apartment in my building, and Rue is going to live with them. Delly is going to live with me, Prim and Elyon for a while until she finds her apartment. And Haymitch, he's reopening his bar, after he has renovated it, so he'll live in it, and sometimes he'll stay at the apartment, like in the olden days. _Olden days_. Yeah that seems like a hundred years ago. Why does this feel so wrong? Is it because I'm so nervous?

We all walk into the building. I take up my key but as I put it in the lock, I notice something. "Why is the door unlocked?" I ask.

"Huh?" Haymitch asks.

"The door! It's unlocked", I say as I feel the panic rise.

I open the door, and the smell of cigarettes hits my nose. What the hell?

"Ugh what's that?" Prim asks wrinkling her nose.

I put my hand over Elyon's nose as I walk into the apartment. I don't want her to breathe in too much of the smell. She's only a baby.

"Hello?" I shout. "Hello?" No one answers.

I walk up to every window in the apartment and opens them.

"Why is there cigarette ends on the floor?" Haymitch asks.

"Did you guys leave it this way?" Delly asks.

"Of course not, we don't smoke, and I do clean", I say, but as I look around in the apartment I see how messy it is.

I walk into my room. I notice a big stain on my carpet. I see a frame on my bed. The photo of me and Peeta. It's ... Broken. Who did this? Tears roll down my eyes as I pick up the photo and walk out to the others. They has started to clean. Johanna, Thresh and Rue is also here now, helping.

"What's going on?" Prim asks.

"Someone broke this", I say, showing her the frame.

"Oh no", Prim says. "You don't think...?"

"What?" I ask and burry my face into Elyon's long hair.

"That... Peeta did it?" Prim asks.

I look at her. What? Peeta? He wouldn't do that? Or... Would he?


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

 _Katniss_

"Good girl Elyon", I say, picking my daughter up after changing her diaper.

I love my daughter so much it's crazy. Prim and Haymitch loves her too so much. She's hard not to love.

I want to start potty train her though, I'm sick of changing diapers and she's old enough to be taught how to pee and poop in a potty. I guess she maybe should have diapers a little while longer, but I don't want her to. I don't want to change more diapers. I sigh as I throw the diaper in the trashcan I have beside the changing table.

"What's wrong?" Delly asks me as she comes into the bathroom. She puts down the lid of the toilet and sits down. I sit down on the edge of the bathtub.

"I'm tired of changing diapers", I say.

"No that's not it, you've been sighing a lot today", she says. "And she only pooped _twice_ ".

I giggle. "I don't know, I guess I'm just afraid", I say.

"Okay tell you what", Delly says as she stands up, and takes Elyon from my arms. "I'm gonna take Elyon and leave her with Haymitch and you are going to go into your room, change into a cute outfit, and do your makeup, and then we're going out with Johanna, Rue and Prim for a nice long walk out in the sun".

"I don't know", I say.

"Oh you make it sound like you have a _choice_ , but you don't though", Delly says and walk out of the bathroom.

I smile and shake my head. Alright, so I guess I'm gonna go and changed. I'm still in my night clothes. A green silk tank top and green silk pajama shorts. I walk into my bedroom and try to choose an outfit, but I have a hard time deciding. Finally I decide for a short green jeans skirt, and a black tank top. I fix my makeup and loosen my hair from the braid to comb it. I just let the hair flow over my shoulders. I put my sunglasses on top of my head. I look at myself in the mirror. I guess I'm not ugly. But I wouldn't call myself beautiful either. I'm just as skinny as I was before I got pregnant with Elyon. After her birth I ate more healthy and started to work out to loose all the baby weight. But I didn't want to go on a diet. That can hurt your body.

"You ready?" I hear a voice and I jump.

I turn around. Delly is standing there laughing. "God Dell, you gave me a heart attack", I say, feeling my pulse.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you Kat", she laughs.

"Whatever, I'm ready", I say. "Let's get this over with".

"Always as positive", Delly says.

"Hell yeah", I say hooking my arm around hers as I walk past her.

Johanna, Prim and Rue are waiting for us outside the building. We start walking, showing Rue around, since she's the only one of the five of us that hasn't lived here.

"I can't say it has changed much", Delly says.

"Had you really expected it to?" I ask.

"I guess not, they're really holding hard onto their motto", she laughs.

"Wait, this city has a _motto_?" Rue asks.

"Oh yeah", Prim says.

And the four of us says it all at the same time. Right hand on the heart and left hand facing the sky. "Panem today, Panem tomorrow, Panem forever". After that we all crack up laughing.

"You're _serious_!" Rue exclaims.

"Yeah, unfortunately we're serious", Johanna says.

Rue laughs. I stop when I see that we're by a big building. Panem High school.

"Guess where we're going tomorrow Rue?" Prim says.

"Is _this_ the high school?" She asks.

They're going their last year in high school, and they start tomorrow. "Yeah", I mumble, turing my eyes away from the awful building. God I hate looking at it. Delly also has a hard time looking at it since she has already started to walk. We walk up to her. "It's history now Dell", I assure her.

"I still feel bad about it though", she says.

"You shouldn't", I say.

"Oh my god", Prim whispers. And then she yells so high that my ears starts to ring. "MADGE!"

She runs as fast as she can up to a girl with blond hair that is tied up with a light blue ribbon. Madge. My heart stops in my chest. Prim hugs her and for a minute she looks frozen to the ground out of shock. We walk up to them. "Prim?" She asks. "Is it really you? You're a brunette!"

"It really is me Madge and yeah, I'm gonna let my natural hair color grow back out though", Prim says.

Madge looks up and sees me. She looks like she's dreaming. I see her lower lip starting to shake. I know what that means. Her tears start to flow shortly after. Prim lets go of Madge and I take her in my arms. Holding her close to me, assuring her that I'm really here. That I'm back. "Oh my god Katniss", she cries. "You're back. We thought you would be gone forever".

"I know, but I'm back, I'm back now", I say, rubbing her back as I try my hardest not to cry myself.

"Oh my god I can't believe _this_ ", she cries.

"Where's Annie?" I ask.

"She's ... With Finnick", Madge says unsure. Okay, she's hiding something.

"Has Rory found another girl?" Prim asks as if she can't hold it in anymore.

"God _no,_ he's still crying after you at night, during the days he barley talks", Madge says.

"What? Why?" Prim asks.

"He was devestated after you left, he ... At first he didn't leave the bed at all, he cried and cried, finally one day he just stopped crying ... During the day", Madge says. "The nights are the hardest". When Madge says this, she looks at me with a knowingly look. I get the feeling that Rory isn't the only one behaving this way. I get a cold feeling in my body.

"I gotta see him!" Prim bursts. "Where is he?"

"At the café with Gale, I was on my way there", Madge says. "We're trying to get him to be social again, but we fail _every_ time". She looks at me again when she says the last thing. Is she talking about Peeta as well? No she can't be. Only now Madge notice Johanna and Delly. Her eyes darken. "What is _she_ doing here?" She spits out, looking at Delly.

Delly looks ashamed looking down at her feet. Prim takes her hand and Madge looks very confused.

I explain the Delly situation. After I'm done Madge is still not convinced. And that's okay, it took time for Haymitch and Prim to trust Delly. I just hope Madge will give her a change. I'm sure Annie will, she's that kind of a person, Madge on the other hand... She can be stubborn, just as I can be. "Just please give her a chance", I say after I'm done.

"Whatever", she says. "I'm just so glad you're back". She takes my hand. "It's been hard, for everyone".

We walk to the café where I see two brothers sitting by a table. The oldest one talking to the younger one who doesn't really seem to be listening. The younger one actually has his forehead against the table. The older one looking pretty worried. The younger one is now looking up at his brother.

"Rory..." Prim whispers. "He looks so tired".

"He is", Madge says.

Prim can't stop herself now. I can see that in her face. "Rory!" She says in a higher voice, enough for him to her.

He freezes at the sound of Prim's clear voice. He slowly turns around and when he says her his eyes widen. Gale is so much more alert than Rory. He hits his palms into the table pushing himself up from the chair. "Katniss! You're back!"

I smile. "I am", I say.

Rory seems to have woken up now because he stands up. Prim walks up to him. She caresses his cheek. "I didn't want to leave", she says.

"Than why did you?" Rory asks.

Prim hesitates. She looks at me, and I shake my head, only for her to notice. She looks back at Rory. "That's not important right now", she says. "Just that I'm back now and you should know that you were _always_ on my mind".

Rory puts his arms around Prim and pulls her close to his body. "I can't believe you're back, I thought I would _never_ see you again", he says as tears flow down his eyes.

"I love you Rory", Prim says as tears flow down her eyes as well.

"I love you Primrose Everdeen", Rory says before he places his lips into Prims.

I lean my head onto Madge. And she leans her head onto my head. This actually so beautiful to witness.

Gales comes up to us and pulls me into a hug. "It's good to see you", he says.

"Same Gale, I can see you're making my Madge happy", I say.

"Yeah about that..." Madge says and raises her hand. A big ring is glistening there.

My eyes widen and I look from Madge to Gale.

"Oh my god..." I whisper as a smile sneaks up on my face.

"We wanted to show everyone that life can go on", Madge says.

"It hasn't been easy though", Gale says. "To babysit Peeta and all of that".

Babysit Peeta? What?

"Excuse me?" I say, and the smile disappears in a second.

"Oh Madge didn't tell you", Gale says, realizing he made a big mistake right now.

"When would I have had time?" Madge asks looking at him. "Okay Katniss look, Peeta is not ... He's not ... Feeling okay".

"He smokes and drinks nowadays", Gale says flatly.

What?

"The first time we found out was in your apartment, he had a key, Annie and I found him, he was crying and smoking and drinking", Madge says. "We have been trying to get him to stop, he even yelled at his brother, Adam told us, Peeta totally flipped out on him, and he hasn't talked very much to his family since, and that was about a year ago".

This isn't like my Peeta. "Why?" I ask.

"He thinks that no one in the world loves him", Gale says. "He ... He has grown up with a mother beating the crap out of him everyday, so hasn't felt safe when it comes to love and he really really loves you, so when you left he just collapsed into the dark".

"We have been trying to get him back, but he just... Won't _listen_ to us", Madge says.

I remember the broken frame. "Peeta was the one leaving cigarettes ends in my apartment and broke my photo of the two of us, wasn't he?" I ask low.

Madge nods.

"Katniss?"

I turn around to see Annie and Finnick. Now this shocks me. She's _pregnant_. I don't know _why_ it shocks me, since I have a daughter, who is soon to turn one year old. "Annie?"

She runs up to me.

"Oh my god you're back!" She cries. "And you're blond!"

She hugs me tight.

"Annie!" Prim says and runs up to us.

"Prim! You're a brunette!" Annie says startled.

Prim giggles.

"And you are _so_ pregnant!" Prim says.

"I am", Annie says.

Finnick isn't looking too happy though. He's actully looking out of the door. Is he waiting for someone?

"Where is he?" Gale asks.

"He said he'd be here in five minutes", Finnick says. "I don't know if it was a lie to get Annie and me out of there or if he's really coming though".

They're talking about Peeta. "Has he started to lie as well?" I ask.

Annie frowns and looks at Madge.

"You told her everything?" She asks.

Madge and Gale nods.

"We had to, Gale accidentally let his tongue slip out of his _big_ mouth", Madge says.

"Why did you leave?" Finnick asks as he gives me a hug.

I bite my lower lip. I might as well tell them.

"I..." But then I see the door open.

And there he stands. Looking around, searching the café. He passes me with his eyes, but seconds later he comes back. I look at him.

Peeta.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

 _Katniss_

As my eyes make contact with those blue eyes, I almost feel out of breath. The color of the eyes are the same, but the rest of him, I almost don't recognize. He has bags under his eyes, his clothes are dirty and I can smell the cigarettes. He's wrecked. Did I do this to him?

"Katniss..." He whispers.

I take a step towards him and he takes a step back. "Peeta..."

"No", he says.

I try to walk up to him but he opens the door and runs out.

"Peeta!" I shout and run after him.

I see how he walks fast and lights a cigarette.

"No!" I say and catch up to him. "Don't!" I slap the cigarette out of Peeta's hand and he turns to look at me. For a second I think he's going to hit me, but he doesn't. He just keeps walking. "Stop Peeta, let me explain!" I say walking beside him, trying to get him to look at me.

He ignores me. I stop. I know I'm not coming anywhere with this. Peeta walks further and further away from me.

"Peeta Mellark I love you!" I yell.

He stops. And turns around. Now he looks angry as he walks towards me. "That's _bullshit_!" He almost screams in my face. "If you'd loved me you wouldn't have left!"

"I know you think that but it's not _true_ , I left _because_ I love you", I say.

"That doesn't even make any _sense_!" He screams at me.

Well it doesn't. I realized that, and that's why I decided to come back. Peeta snorts, as if making his point clear and leaves me standing here dumb-folded.

When I come back to life, Peeta is long gone and I don't know where he is. I know that he's father owns a bakery, so I run there. Maybe they know where Peeta might have gone. I see a sign that says "Mellark's bakery", and that just _has_ to be the place. I mean there is only one Mellark family in Panem. I swing the door open and catch my breath as I come in, realizing that I have poor fitness.

I see three men that looks a lot like Peeta. These has to be Peeta's father and brothers. "Where's ... Peeta?" I ask between my breaths.

"Probably at his apartment", the dad says. "Um who are you?"

"My name is Katniss Everdeen", I say.

They stand frozen looking at me. So I take that Peeta has been talking about me.

"So you _are_ real?" The youngest of these three says. This has to be Peeta's middle brother.

"Alive and breathing", I say. "Peeta ran away from me, where is he's apartment, I _have_ to talk to him, I have to explain how much I truly love him".

After I'm done talking, I notice that tears are running down my face. They look at me for a second. They nod. They give me Peeta's address and I start running. It's not really that far from the bakery, but it takes me ten minutes to run. His brother Adam told me the code of the door to Peeta's building.

I press the code and pull the door open. I run up the stairs and look for Peeta's door. Finally I see an apartment that says, "Mellark. P".

I bang on the door. "Peeta! Open up!" I can here him walking around there, close to the door. He has never been able to be very quiet when he walks. "I can here you, now open the door!" I shout, leaning on the door and press my ear onto it. The door swings open and I fall into the apartment and face plants on the floor. "Oww..." I moan. I stand up. "Was that really necessary?" I ask.

"Yep", Peeta says popping the p, nonchalantly. He is standing in front of me with nothing but a towel around his waist. He's hair is wet and his beautiful body is glistening in the light because of the water drops. He's so hot I have to control myself so I don't start drooling. I sigh. "Now what do you want? And how did you even know where my apartment is?" Peeta asks frustrated as he walks into another room.

I follow him and see that he walked into the kitchen. "Don't hate me Peeta", I beg. "I already feel bad enough". This was what I was afraid of though. Of Peeta hating me. And he does hate me. It's awful. _I'm_ awful. I'm a terrible human being. "Okay Peeta I fully understand why you hate me and..." I start but he interrupts me.

"No you fucking don't understand a single damn thing!" He shouts as he turns around to face me. "So don't tell me you do!"

I'm shocked. I've never heard him swear like this before. I created another Peeta. It was never my intention. Peeta storms out of the kitchen and towards the living room. I take a hold of his arms, forcing him to stop. Peeta pushes me away from him.

"Do _not_ do that again", he warns me.

"Or else? Are you going to slap me?" I ask, in a voice I don't want to use. What did I just say? Peeta snorts and looks out of the window, instead of me. Of course he wouldn't slap me. What's wrong with me? "Gale told me", I say. "About you're mother".

Peeta looks at me and freezes. "Out", he says.

"Peeta..." I whisper, not knowing what to say.

Peeta's lower lips shakes and he turns away. "Just go", he whispers.

"What?" I ask, pretending I didn't here.

"Just. Go." Peeta says, louder.

"No", I say.

" _Go_!" Peeta says. "Just go! I don't want to see you right now! I have to sort out my thoughts and feelings about you!"

"I love you Peeta", I whisper as tears flow down my eyes.

I feel how I'm starting to panic. He looks at me again. "Go!" He says.

"I don't want to", I say.

"Just go!" He shouts and point at the door. "Go!"

I give up. "Fine", I say. "Fine than, be like this, but now you know how I feel about you, I love you Peeta and I will always love you, even if you don't want to see me again". And with that I leave him in his apartment. I run straight home where I know Haymitch and Elyon are.

When I come home I take my daughter in my arms, sits down in the couch and cries as I rock back and forth.

"What happened?" Haymitch asks and sits down on the couch beside me.

"I ... I, oh what have I done?" I cry.

Haymitch puts an arm around me and I lean my head on his shoulder.

"Peeta hates me", I cry. "The father of my daughter hates me".

"Does he _know_ he has a daughter?" Haymitch asks.

"No, he wouldn't let me explain, he kept shouting at me, and then I said things I shouldn't have and it all just crashed", I say.

Haymitch keeps on trying to comfort me, and then I fall asleep, tired from all the crying.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

 _Peeta_

I know I wanted Katniss to come home, but seeing her after _two years_ , makes me angry. She left me and then she comes back just like that.

I can't _believe_ I shouted at her, but I couldn't stop myself. All of these feelings just flows up to the surface. Katniss kept telling me she loves me and that just kills me. It really kills me because I don't know if she's telling the truth. And she actually tried to convince me that she left because of the fact that she loves me. Like I needed to be protected or something. From what? I didn't give her a chance to explain, I know that, but after two years I don't want a lame excuse. She destroyed me when she left and she thinks everything will be okay just by coming back and say: "I love you"?

"Earth to Peeta Mellark!"

That's when I notice the hand right in front of my face. I slap Finnick's hand away and stand up. "What's the matter with you?" I ask.

"The right question would be, what is the matter with _you?!_ " Finnick asks.

"Yeah it's like you're on your period or something", Gale says.

Oh so now I'm a girl? "Fuck off man", I say.

"No, what's your _problem_?" Gale asks.

"Yeah, Katniss is _back_ , she's finally back, that's all you _ever_ wanted", Finnick asks. "You used to cry yourself to sleep, begging Katniss to come home, and now she's home but you aren't talking to her".

"That's because I'm not a person you can walk all over", I say. "I realized that when I saw her in that café".

"She _loves_ you Peeta, she's not walking over you, I bet my sugar cubes that she had a reason to leave", Finnick says.

Oh now it's serious. Finnick is betting his sugar cubes.

"And have you realized that since she came back, you haven't smoked a single cigarette or taken a drink", Gale says.

"Is that a challenge?" I ask angrily.

"Definitely not, it was a statement, you haven't smoked or drunk since she came back", Gale says.

I guess he's right. But I won't admit that. "Or maybe I just wanted to stop, because I realized that it's not good for me", I say.

"So all the yelling from the girls, deep talks with us, outbursts from you, what were they? A fun game?" Finnick asks.

I sigh. "No", I say, and I remember something and turn towards Gale again, angry. "And why the hell did you tell Katniss about my mother?"

"I... To explain why you've been behaving like someone else", Gale says.

Whatever. I shake my head and walk towards the front door.

"Where are you going?" Finnick asks as they walk after me.

"To the bakery", I say.

They decide to join me.

I haven't been a good son to my dad, and haven't been in the bakery, and I haven't helped. I'm ashamed of myself. And I haven't been a good brother. I haven't spoken two either one of my two brothers for like a month, and before that I barely spoke to them at all. I've met my nephew Flynn only a couple of times. He's Damian's and Katie's two year old son. I haven't met Tiara much either. I'm ashamed over the things I told Adam, when he found me drunk. I'm a terrible little brother.

When I come to the bakery my dad is there. "Peeta", he says.

"I'm sorry dad, I'm so sorry", I say.

Dad doesn't say anything, he only pulls me in for a warm big hug.

"Where's mom?" I ask, realizing it's very quiet here.

"I forgot to tell you didn't I? I divorced her", he says.

My eyes widen. He did what? I never thought he would.

"Really?" I ask

"Really", I hear behind me.

I swing around, seeing Adam stand there with a smile on his face.

"Adam I'm so sorry for everything I ever said to you these past two years", I say with a lump in my throat. "I'm so so so sorry".

"Oh shut up and come here", Adam says and open his big brother arms for his little brother to go into.

"I know you care about me, and I know you don't love me less just because you've got your own family", I mumble. "I just... I don't know why I said that".

"You were sad Peeta", Adam says. "We all understand... You don't smell like smoke anymore".

"That's because he hasn't smoked today", Gale says who decided to join in.

"He threw away his flask as well", Finnick says.

"So Katniss did show up?" Damian asks.

I only now noticed that he was in the room. He give me a big brotherly hug.

"Yeaahhh", I say.

" _And_ he threw her out", Finnick adds.

"Wait _what_?" Adam asks.

Now when they're pointing it out again, I do feel bad about it. Maybe it wasn't the best thing to do. But I was, I mean I _am_ angry and hurt. She can't just leave and then come back like this, but I wanted her to come back. Okay I make myself confused, I don't even know what I want. "Maybe I should apologize about that", I say nervously, scratching my neck.

"Yah _think_?" Finnick, Gale, Adam, Damian and my dad says all at the same time.

"Fine", I sigh. "Fine I will, but that doesn't mean I forgive her, for leaving me". I take up my phone. "And by the way", I say as I press Katniss number, and then look at my brothers. "I _told_ you she was real".

I press call. Katniss answers almost immediately.

"Hey..." I say.

I hear Katniss take a deep shaky breath. " _Peeta_..." She says.

I close my eyes. I've longed to here her voice. Maybe I can forgive her. Maybe I can. Because I _do_ love her.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

 _Katniss_

Peeta called me. He apologized and told me we should sit down and talk, without all the yelling. mI agreed. But I also told him that he shouldn't apologize. It was all my fault. I thought he could forgive me just like that, I should have known better. He didn't argue against that, which made me laugh.

"Shouldn't you have a push-up bra as well?" Delly teases.

"Why?" I ask.

"Well you obviously wanna look sexy, since you _never_ wear that dress", She says.

"I wear it!" I say looking into the mirror.

"When have you ever?" She asks smart, crossing her arms over her chest.

I end up standing here with my mouth open. The truth is that I never have worn this dress. I don't even remember why I bought it in the first place. I look in the mirror. It's a black simple dress that form after my curves, and it just _happen_ to show off my boobs.

Delly is standing there with the smart smile plastered on her lips.

"Oh hush you, I haven't had an opportunity to wear it earlier that's all", I say.

"Right", she says. "You bought it for _Peeta_ ".

"I did no..."

"Eyy no lying here Katniss!" She says in a fake strict voice, trying not to laugh.

"I'm not lyin..."

"Eb beb beb", she says to silence me.

I am lying though. Oh how is it always so obvious when I'm lying? "Ugh fine, you win! I bought it because I thought Peeta would like it! I don't even know why his opinion would just appear in my head when I'm shopping with Prim and see a dress and than just buy it for the man I left!" I sit down on the bed. "Oh I'm hopeless".

Delly sits down on the bed beside me, with an arm around my shoulders. "Not totally hopeless, I'm sure he'll love your boobs", Delly teases.

"Delly!" I shout but smiling, putting my hands over my ears.

"Oh come on he's a _guy_ ", she says. "And how did you get pregnant with Elyon again..." She put her hand behind her ear, ready to listen.

I push her off the bed, both of us laughing.

"Well I wouldn't want to undo it for all the money in the world, I love my little girl so much", I say. "I don't regret anything, if Peeta don't want her, I can't do anything about it, if he wants her but not me, we can discuss about custody".

"Oh who wouldn't want that angel", Delly says still sitting on the floor. "If he doesn't want her, _I'll_ be her father!"

"Oh okay as you wish, but you'll have to grow a mustache I'm afraid", I say seriously.

"Oh okay, that's not gonna be a problem", she says nodding before she puts a lock of hair between her lip and nose.

I start laughing.

Delly stands up.

"Now do you want that push-up bra or not?" She asks.

"Hmmmm..." I say as I think. Oh I don't know. "I don't know, you know better about what boys want, you decide".

"Okay well they want real stuff and not fake stuff, but they like boobs and butts most, I think, so push up-bra it is", she says as she picks one up.

"Oohh alright", I say.

After I've stripped out of my dress I changed the bra, I put the dress back on, and start with the make up. I don't like too much, but I can't have too little either, I not pretty like Madge, Annie, Delly and Johanna, I'm just not. So I need the makeup, I just don't want to look like a barbie doll, so I keep it to a minimum. When I'm done I brush through my hair and it falls in waves over my shoulders.

"Oh Katniss you're so beautiful!" I hear the voice of Annie.

I didn't hear her come. But when I turn around to greet her, I'm not only met by her, but by her, Madge, Johanna, Delly and Prim.

"We're so happy you're going to talk to Peeta", Madge says, hugging me.

"He felt so bad for kicking you out, Finnick told me so", Annie says with her hands over her big belly. I remember those times.

Annie and Madge hasn't met Elyon yet. And I haven't told them about her, so how lucky am I that she's with her old uncle Haymitch right now? But that's when I hear _that_ voice. "Sweetheart you here?" The voice asks.

"No!" I shout as I run out of the room and shut the door to my bedroom behind me, with a loud bang. "What are you doing here?" I hiss at Haymitch as he comes closer to me with my girl in his arms.

"Well Prim called and said that she wanted Elyon", Haymitch says.

Oh Prim. Why? I take Elyon in my arms. Someone knocks on the door.

"Uh Katniss do you think we can come out now?" Madge voice asks.

"No!" I say. "It's not _safe_ ".

"What? Oh come on", Johanna says and then she opens the door.

The door swings open, and here I stand with my daughter beside Haymitch.

Annie's and Madge's eyes widen.

"Um Katniss... Who is _that_?!" Madge asks.

"Oh I forgot to tell you?" I ask with a nervous laugh. "She's my daughter".

"Your what?" Madge bursts.

"Oh my look at her eyes!" Annie says.

"Those are copies of..."

"Yeah Peeta is her _father_ ", I say nervously. Annie's and Madge's mouths could almost touch the floor. So this is when I tell them the whole story about why I left. About Elyon and how and when I found out I was pregnant, and how I panicked. During the story they can't keep their eyes off her. "But she's my little miracle, and I don't regret a single thing", I say, kissing Elyon's head as I stroke back the hair from her forehead.

"You should've just told Peeta", Madge says.

"Yeah well I can't even count all of the times Haymitch and I told her that", Prim says.

"As I said I was _afraid_ ", I say. "I though he was going to think I ruined his life, I mean what twenty year old, wants to be a father?"

They stay silent, knowing I'm right. "Katniss... Can I hold her?" Annie asks.

I smile."Of course, if I trust Haymitch here to hold Elyon, I definitely trust you", I say, as I hand Elyon over to Annie.

"She's the cutest little gir I've ever seenl", Annie says. "Hey Elyon".

Elyon has to feel comfortable with Annie, feel how kind she is because she doesn't cry. In fact she puts her head onto her shoulder.

I look at the clock. Shit! It's 4:50 pm, and I'm supposed to be at Peeta's 5:00 pm.

"Shit I have to go!" I say as I put on my black high heels in a hurry.

"Knock him out _sexy_ _mama_ ", Madge says. "Hah! Lol now I can say that and mean it literary, you're sexy and you're a mama".

Everyone laughs.

"You're all crazy", I shout as I close the door.

I try to run as fast as I can in these heels. Oh why did I even take these? Peeta doesn't live that far away from me actually. But it does take fifteen minutes to walk there. I'm late great...

When I knock on Peeta's door, it's 5:10 pm and I'm catching my breath.

Peeta opens the door after a few seconds and... Oh my god. _He's so hot_! He has a pair of white jeans that fits perfectly to his legs, and a green shirt. He knows my favorite color is green. He's hair is messed up like always and I can smell his cologne, it smells so good. Oh god. He's eyes are glistening and they are so big and beautiful. "I though you weren't gonna come", he says.

"I'm sorry, the girls, they kept me occupied and I oh you know how Annie and Madge can be... They always wants everything to be perfect", I babble. "And then I looked at the clock and bam! It was 4:50 pm and I ran to get my shoes and left everyone hanging in my apartment and I ran in these heels and that I can tell you is not very good for your feet".

 _Why Katniss? Why would you go on and on like this? Why couldn't you just say that you forgot about the time? Simple as that. But nooooo you have to go tell him you're whole life story_! I hiss at myself.

But to my surprise, Peeta actually does smile a small smile. "Well I guess we'll have to get you out of those _horrible_ shoes than?" He says and moves to the side to let me in. I walk in and Peeta closes the door behind me. I can feel his eyes in my neck. I sit down on the chair he has beside the door to get off the shoes. Peeta stand and watches me as I take them off. "Why would you even choose shoes like that if they're _that_ uncomfortable?" Peeta asks.

"Well I can tell you're not a girl, because you clearly don't understand these things", I say, wanting to hit myself. Because before Annie and Madge dragged me to Mallorca, I didn't know the point either.

Peeta lets out a small chuckle. Although I could see he didn't want to. Then I smell something. Food. Oh god Peeta's food... I've longed to eat his food.

"I hope you like baked salmon with rise and salad", he says walking into the kitchen.

I love it! "Oh yeah of course", I say following him.

It hurts so much to be so near him, but not be able to touch him. I almost feel like crying.

Peeta has already done the table and now he puts the food onto it. At first it's silent when we eat. An awkward silence. I hate that. After a while I can't stand the silence anymore. It's making me more nervous. "Are you going to say anything at all?" I ask him.

He looks at me. "Well what do you want me to say?"

 _Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry._

"Anything, I can tell you're mad at me, but do you have to make me suffer?" I ask. "Suffer in silence is not fun". Peeta looks down at his plate and takes the last piece of food he has on his plate and puts it in his mouth. I put my plate to the side. Suddenly I'm not so hungry. "I have to use the bathroom", I say. "Where is it?"

"Um third door from the left", he mumbles.

I nod and stand up. I walk to the bathroom and stand in front of the mirror. I find it really hard to not cry right now. I have to get myself together. Show Peeta that I love him and regret what I did.

When I'm ready I walk back out to the kitchen, where Peeta is now doing the dishes. "Want any help there?" I ask.

"No it's okay", he says softly.

This only makes me even sadder. To realize I might have lost the kindest boy on planet earth.

"Just do me one favor, if you're this mad at me, don't be kind, it only hurt more", I say with a tear drained voice.

I can't help myself, but I won't let the tears spill. Not yet.

Peeta sighs. He dries his hands on a cloth. "Katniss I'm not mad at you... I'm just, I'm _hurt_ ", he says. I just look at him. I feel like he's not finished yet. "When I saw you the other day I... You don't know what it's been like", he says, putting the plates on their places.

"Madge and Gale told me, about your drinking and smoking", I say. "And about... Vanessa".

Peeta laughs a joyless, hopeless laugh. "Of course they did, why wouldn't they?" He says irritated and I take the wine glass he's holding, because I have a feeling it's going to break.

"Peeta, listen, they told me because they care about you", I say. "And the thing with Vanessa is not what upsets me, because she tricked you and even if she had been nice... I did leave. But what hurt me was when I came home and found my photo of the two of us _destroyed_ ". Peeta doesn't even look at me. "I get that after I left and didn't tell you or anything, it's hard for you to believe me when I say that I love you", I say. "But you would notice if I didn't tell the truth". I've made my point clear. I put my hand on to his chest where his heart is. "I hope that you can find a way back to me Peeta, because I love you so much", I say and now I let the tears spill. "But even if you can never love me again, I hope that we can stay friends because losing you completely... Now _that_ would destroy me, to not have you into life at all".

I look up at Peeta and see tears falling from his eyes as well. I dry his tears with my thumb, like he used to do with me. Suddenly he puts his hand on my waist and pulls me close to him and I feel the warmth form his body, wrap around me. I look him right into his eyes, losing my breath for a second. So beautiful.

"I can't find away to love you again Katniss", he says and all of my hopes crashes.

"I understand that", I say.

"I can't because I never _stopped_ loving you Katniss Everdeen", Peeta continues. "Since high school you've had my heart, and you will always have it, but it's up to you to take care of it".

I close my eyes. More tears fall.

"I love you so much Peeta Mellark", I say. And that's when it happens. Peeta leans in and crashes his lips onto mine. I've longed so much to feel these lips against mine again. "Oh god I love you", I cry. I can't stop crying. God I have issues. "I'm so sorry for everything I caused Peeta, I'll never leave you again I promise", I cry.

"Hey shhhh", Peeta comforts me. "Shhh it's okay".

But it's not. I still haven't told him why I left. I was prepared to do that when I came, but I'm not anymore. I don't want to destroy this wonderful moment. I kiss him again. Peeta carries me up and walk with me to his bedroom. He closes the door. And I feel like I'm back in heaven.

God I love Peeta Mellark.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

 _Katniss_

Today I'm going to introduce Peeta to Elyon. He hasn't met her and I'm very nervous about it. I haven't exactly told him about her either. Maybe I should have. Haymitch, Prim and Delly says that I should have told him about Elyon the first day I saw him. I just couldn't. And today is Elyon's birthday. Today my baby girl turns one. And hopefully she gets to spend her first birthday with her father.

I really hope Peeta will accept Elyon. Yesterday Peeta told me he still loves me. That I'm still carrying his heart. Would he change all of that if he found out he has a daughter? I panicked yesterday. I didn't want to destroy our beautiful moment together. After the door closed, oh my god. Yes Peeta and I did have sex. I haven't felt this good in like two years.

"Why are you so happy?" Delly yawns as she come out to me in the kitchen with messed up hair, going in every direction and a robe tightly around her. "And happy birthday Elyon".

She looks at me with small eyes. It's morning so she just got up. I've been up for an hour already with Elyon. Babies doesn't like to sleep. Can you believe that? "What? Can't I be happy?" I ask innocently.

I was home when everyone was already asleep. So they don't know what happened between me and Peeta yet. Delly's eyes suddenly becomes bigger and she doesn't look that tired anymore.

"Oh my god! You had sex!" She says jumping up and down.

Elyon watches her with an amused expression, from her high chair.

"We did not!" I say. But I say it with the biggest smile ever, so now even _I_ can hear the lie.

"Oh my god! How did _that_ happen?" Delly asks, running up to me. "Tell me everything!"

"No wait for me!" I hear Prim yell from somewhere in the apartment and then she comes running into the kitchen. "Now tell!" She says.

I laugh. I tell them about everything that happened last night. They listen carefully and when I tell them about what Peeta said about me having his heart, Delly starts crying, saynig that it was the cutest thing she has ever heard. And when I told them about what happened after Peeta closed the door, they cheer.

"Told you push-up bra would work", Delly says proudly.

"Do you really think that..."

"Yes!"

Alrighty than.

"So what? You're together again?" Rory asks coming into the kitchen.

Wait! Rory? What is he doing here? And because he doesn't seem surprised to see Elyon, I take it Prim told him about her already. _Ugh Prim, what am I going to do with you?_

"Did you sleep here?" I ask.

"Is that a problem?" Prim asks crossing her arms over her chest.

"I ... no I guess not, you're eighteen, you can do what you want", I say.

"Exactly", Prim says nodding her head.

"But are you?" Rory asks again.

Prim walks up to Elyon and carries her up, rocking her. "Happy birthday Elyon, our _big_ girl", she says hugging Elyon.

"I... I don't know actually", I say.

"So you didn't DTR?" Prim asks.

"We're not in Awkward now Prim", I say.

She loves that series. She can stay up all night watching the seasons, she never gets tired of it. "I know that", she says giving Elyon to Rory, who hold her carefully and safe. "But still, have you?"

"No", I say. "After we closed the door, we didn't really talk that much, if you know what I mean".

"Oh I know what you mean", Prim says slyly.

"Primrose Everdeen!" I shout. "You're too..."

"Oh don't worry Katniss, we haven't done anything", Rory says. "I wanna wait until we're out of high school at least".

I think I like Rory even more now. _Good boy Rory, good boy_. "I like you, you're smart", I say and turn to Prim. "He's smart, don't try to convince him to do it earlier".

"Fine", she says, walking up to the fridge.

"So you're going to tell Peeta today?" Delly asks, leaning over the kitchen island.

"Yeeaahh I don't really have a choice anymore", I say.

"I guess not", she says. "I wonder how he'll take it".

"He's gonna freak out", I predict. "I mean what other way can he take it?"

"Yeah, well are you going to tell him first and show him after? Or...?" Delly asks.

"Well I was hoping you could take her and like be around us and then I can like text you to come with her?" I ask. "You, and the other girls?"

"Yeah, we can do that, but how are you going to tell him?" Delly asks.

"Well, you know how Peeta bakes all the cakes in the bakery? Well I'm going to make an order under another name and then go to pick it up and tell him", I say.

"Hmmm sneaky, and you don't even have to make a cake", Prim says.

"Exactly", I say.

* * *

After a few hours I make the call to the bakery, ordering a birthday cake for a baby girl named Elyon, who turns one today. I can tell it's Damien on the other side of the line, so I really have to keep a pokerface and keep my fake voice steady and not start to laugh. Damien tells me that it will be done by two in the afternoon.

Great. After the call we all eat breakfast. Delly made the breakfast because I would only end up poisoning everyone, and that wouldn't be so good.

"Okay so I go to the bakery at two and you'll come around..."

"2:30 pm", Delly says.

It knocks on the door and we hear it and Madge walks in.

"Oh happy birthday Elyon!" Annie shouts and takes Elyon in her arms.

"You haven't told Finnick and Gale about her right?" I ask just to make sure.

"No, but it's hard", Madge says. "Gale knows I'm hiding something".

"Yeah and Finnick too", Annie says, rocking Elyon.

"Okay great, don't worry you can tell them after 2:00 pm, because that's when I'm telling Peeta about Elyon", I say.

"Katniss is tricking Peeta into doing his unknown daughters birthday cake", Rory says chuckling.

"You are?" Madge laughs.

"Yeah... Kind of", I say.

We spend the day playing with Elyon, since it's her birthday and all. Giving her all the attention. I still can't believe that my girl is already one. It's crazy how time flies by.

I notice that I have to leave to get the cake and drop a bomb over Peeta. "Okay I'll be going and you'll be coming soon", I say as I walk through the door.

"Yes! For the hundredth time", Prim says. "Now go".

I close the door and walk down the stairs. It's sunny outside and warm. Like it always is. But I love it.

It doesn't take me very long to walk to the bakery. Only ten minutes. When I open the door to the bakery, the little bell goes off. I love that little bell.

"Hey Katniss", Adam says. He's standing behind the counter.

"Hello Adam, how are you?" I ask.

"I'm great thanks, how are you?" He asks back.

"I'm also great, um is Peeta here?" I ask.

"He's in the kitchen", Adam says, pointing at a metal door.

"And I can just go in there?" I ask.

"Well yeah of course", Adam chuckles.

I nod. "Thank you", I say.

I walk into the kitchen and see Peeta. He's working in the cake. "Hey Peeta", I say.

He looks up and smiles when he sees me. "Katniss hey", he says and walk up to me. He gives me a passionate kiss. "How's my beautiful girlfriend?"

"So I am you're girlfriend again?" I asks smiling like a goof.

"If you want to", he smiles.

"Of course I do", I smile.

I almost forgot why I came in the first place.

When I realize that I have to tell him, I starting to get cold feet. But I have to tell him. I can't keep him in the dark any longer.

"But... I did come because I have to tell you something", I say.

"What?" Peeta asks.

"Um, maybe you should sit down?" I say.

"I'm good", he says raising one eyebrow.

"Please don't hate me when I tell you this Peeta", I say.

"Peeta!" Adam comes into the kitchen. "I have to run an errant, can you watch the bakery for the rest of the day? Or just close it?"

"Sure", Peeta says.

"Great thanks, bye you two", he says.

"Bye", we say.

I almost forgot again. I lost my words but Peeta brings me back on track.

"What did you want to tell me Katniss?" Peeta asks.

"Um... I have to tell you why I left", I say. "But please don't hate me, I did it because I thought I did you a favor".

"What?" He asks. "Wait what are you talking about?"

"Peeta I left because... Because I was ... Um I was pregnant", I get out of me.

Peeta's eyes grows.

"You were _what_?" He asks, sitting down on a stool.

"I was pregnant", I repeat.

"You made an abortion?" He asks.

"Oh god _no_!" I say. "I could never have done that, and _that's_ why I left, I didn't want to destroy your life. No one wants to be a father at the age of twenty, I'm so so sorry Peeta, I thought I was doing the right thing but I realized it's not my decision, it should be _yours_ ".

"Are you telling me that I have a child?" Peeta whispers.

"Yeah", I whisper, with tears running down my eyes. "A daughter".

"I have a daughter?" Peeta whispers again, pale in his face.

It looks like he's going to throw up. "You do and she's really beautiful", I cry and suddenly feel so scared. "But please meet her, I promise you that..."

Peeta holds up a hand to silence me.

"Peeta don't be angry, please, I realized that what I did was _wrong_ ", I cry.

"Katniss shhh! What I don't get is how you could think I wouldn't do _anything_ for the baby", he says. "I'm not a bad boy, I would take on the responsibility, but the fact that you never gave me the chance..."

"I know, it was wrong, Prim and Haymitch told me it was wrong but I was so sure it was the right thing", I say.

We're silent for a long time. Peeta's sitting with his face into his hands. Me watching him. "You don't want to be together with me anymore, do you?" I ask.

He looks up at me. "Are you kidding me?" He asks and stands up, walking to me. "You can't predict _everything_ Katniss! You think you know everything all the time. And you have to stop with that, I love you okay? And I _do_ want to be your boyfriend".

I kiss him. Oh god I was so afraid I was going to loose him again.

"Katniss?" I hear Madge voice.

"They're here", I say.

"What?" Peeta says.

"In the kitchen!" I shout, ignoring Peeta's question.

One after one they walk in, but not Prim.

"Where's..." I start but that's then she comes, with Elyon in her arms.

Peeta looks at Elyon. Not able to take his eyes off her. I touch Peeta arm. "She has your eyes Peeta", I say. "Everyday I look into them I see you, that's what kept me sane being apart from you".

Prim walks up to Peeta and gives Elyon to him. He's unsure at first but then he hugs her. "Oh god", he says. "I can't believe this".

"Her name is Elyon", I say. "Elyon Annie Johanna".

"Annie?" Annie asks.

"Yeah", I smile.

"Oh Katniss..." She says and walk up to hug me.

"Oh and that birthday cake..." Johanna says. "It's Elyon's".

"What?" Peeta asks.

"I called and ordered a cake", I say.

"So you made me make my unknown daughters cake", he asks.

"Kind of yeah", I say, blushing.

Peeta kisses my cheek.

"You're right, she's adorable", Peeta says.

I put my forehead against Peeta's arm, listening to him talk to Elyon.

"Hey Elyon, I'm your daddy, and you are going to see _very_ much of me from now on", he says to her.

"Do you want to come with us to the park and celebrate her birthday with us?" I ask. "We do have a cake".

"You do? I wonder what it will taste like", Peeta says. "Happy birthday baby girl".

I'm so happy right now.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

 _Peeta_

I can't believe I have a daughter. Katniss told me that she kept it a secret from me because she didn't want to burden me, with a baby. What she doesn't realize is that a baby would never have been a burden to me. I love kids. And yeah we're young but it doesn't matter to me.

Elyon is the cutest little girl I've ever seen in my life. When Finnick and Gale found out, Finnick almost fainted, as the drama queen he is an all. I still can't believe I'm a father. And I am irritated at Katniss from keeping this from me. It wasn't _her_ decision to make. I haven't told her I'm irritated at her, I don't want us to fight now when we're finally together again. And it wouldn't be good for Elyon to have her parents fight.

I asked Katniss if we can go to dinner at my dads house tonight. My brothers and their families will be there. I haven't told them about Elyon yet. Katniss can't deny me anything at the moment. She's still in the making-it-up for me phase. She says yes to pretty much everything I say, even when it's not a question. It's amusing me actually. And she's cute.

Right now I'm on my way to Katniss apartment. I wanna see Elyon really bad, I miss her so much.

Yesterday I didn't know Elyon existed, but now my life has changed. I think of how I acted when Katniss left me and feel so stupid. I smoked and drank. Ugh, how could I do that? And the thing with Vanessa... I want to beat myself up so badly when I think about that. And the fact that Katniss tells me it doesn't matter, what happened with Vanessa, shows me how big of an heart Katniss has. I mean sure, her stupid need to be in control all the time irritates me, but she's my girl, she always has been and she'll always be.

I reach Katniss building and press the code. I open the door and when I reach the door with the name "Everdeen. K", I knock on it.

The door opens by Delly. I haven't been around her for more than one time. I still can't understand how Katniss and she became friends after the hell Delly put Katniss through in school. She also hit on me so many times, more than there are starts on the night sky.

"Hey Peeta", she says with a smile.

"Oh hello Delly", I say. "You live here or what?"

She nods and moves to the side to let me in.

"Yep, until I can find an apartment", she says.

"Oh", I say.

"Peeta can we just _not_ do this?" She asks sadly. "I know what you think of me, I know what the whole town thinks of me, but the most important person forgave me, why can't everyone else?" I look at her with raised eyebrows. "I made Katniss life a living hell in high school, I know that, but she's also the only one I put through that hell", she continues. "To everyone else I was just a slut, which I was, but I'm not the same person anymore, I'm not the slut who asked you out on dates everyday, I'm not the slut who slept with everyone, so please give me a chance to prove that".

"It's true", Prim says walking up to us with a green apple in her hand. "I didn't believe it either at first, it took her months to convince me and Haymitch, but she did and it's true".

"Okay", I say. "Okay I'll give you a chance".

"Thank you so much Peeta", Delly says and gives me a hug. A friendly hug, nothing else. Maybe she _has_ changed.

"Where's Katniss?" I ask.

"Kitchen", Prim shrugs, and walks over to the couch, and turn on the TV. "Elyon was hopeless during the night and morning, so she's pretty tired".

I walk to the kitchen where Katniss is standing, leaning over the kitchen island, one hand under her chin, and a feeding bottle in the other hand. Her eyes are closed. She's still in her green silk morning robe, and her hair is messy.

I smile at the sight of her. She looks so adorable. I walk and stand behind her and I put my arms around her, taking the bottle into my hand.

She jerks. "Oh hey", she yawns when she realized that it's me and puts her head onto chest.

"You seem alert", I say, kissing her cheek.

"Elyon has been keeping me up pretty much all night, she has colic, it's always worse during the night, Delly has been sleeping in Prim's room these past two nights, she's screaming and screaming, I managed to calm her down now though".

We look at Elyon. She's sitting in her high chair with her green pacifier in her mouth. Her eyes are red and I can see she has been crying not long ago.

"Why don't you just take a nap? Get some sleep", I say.

She straightens up, and sighs as she takes the feeding bottle out of my hand. She walks up to Elyon and picks her up and shove her onto her waist. She takes out Elyon's pacifier and starts feeding her the bottle. "Because I have a child with colic to take care of", she says tired. "I can't just go to sleep".

"Well I can take care of her, and you can get some sleep", I say.

"Would you really want to do that?" She asks.

"Yeah, why not? She's my child too", I say.

"Yeah", Katniss says, yawning big.

"And... If you, I don't know... Moved in with me..." I say, feeling my face starting to heat up. "I could help you with Elyon".

Katniss looks at me. "Move in with you?" She asks.

"Yeah, you and Elyon".

"Me, you and Elyon together?" She asks. "Like... A family?"

"Yeah, exactly like a family, would you want that?" I ask.

Slowly a smile spreads onto her red soft lips. She gets a glimpse in her beautiful grey eyes. She nods her head. "I would want that very much", she says.

She yawns big again. "Okay now, give me the baby, and go get some sleep, you want to be alert at the dinner tonight", I say, reaching out my hands.

"Oh right, the dinner", she says, handing me Elyon with the bottle. "I forgot about that, having a baby with colic during the nights makes you lose your brain".

"It's okay Katniss, just get some sleep", I chuckle and kiss her cheek.

"Okay", she says. "Love you".

"Love you", I say as she walks out of the kitchen.

I feed Elyon the rest of the bottle. She makes sweet baby sounds as she drinks from the bottle.

I can't believe how cute Elyon is. I can't believe she's my child, that she's _mine_. And her eyes are so beautiful. So big and blue. Blue and deep like ocean itself. Is this the way people see _my_ eyes. Every time Katniss looks into my eyes, is this how she sees them?

Elyon finishes the bottle. "Oh who's a good girl?" I ask.

I put down the bottle and walk out to the living room, where Delly and Prim are sitting in the sofa, laughing at something on the TV. "What are you watching?" I ask.

"Americas funnies home videos", Prim laughs. "Some people can be so dumb".

Then they both burst out laughing at a guy that tried getting snow off his roof but ended up getting everything over himself.

"Prim are you coming with us to the dinner tonight?" I ask, sitting down in the armchair beside the couch.

"Oh no sorry I can't, I promised Rue that I would go with her shopping", she says sadly. "She met this guy and wants to have cute clothes".

"Ah, the rules of the girl world", I say.

"Yeah, no ditching", Prim giggles.

I spend the rest of the day, comforting Elyon when she cries of the pain in her little belly. Delly told me that the doctor told Katniss, that there is no medicine for colic. Everything we can do is comforting Elyon and wait for it all to go over. It can take a few weeks. She isn't crying all the time. Sometimes she falls asleep, and other times she just sucks on her pacifier, looking at me or around her.

I talk to Prim and Delly, sticking to my promise of giving Delly a chance to prove that she's a new person.

When it's about three in the afternoon, Katniss comes walking into the living room. Her eyes are swollen and she looks like she has just woken up. She takes Elyon in her arms and sits down in my knee, snuggle into my embrace. I put my arms around her and Elyon.

I hear a klick sound. "Prim!" Katniss says.

"What? The first photo of the cute little Mellark family", Prim says, lowering the camera.

"When I look like something picked out of a horror movie?" Katniss snaps.

"Oh you do not!" I protest.

"Yes I do", she mumbles into my shirt. "What time should we be at your dads?"

"No you don't, and at five", I say.

"Okay, three hours, I better go take a shower", she says and stands up, putting Elyon in my arms.

* * *

I knock on the door. Katniss is very nervous. She's shaking beside me. I have Elyon in my arms. "Katniss calm down, it's going to be fine", I say.

"No, they're going to hate me for keeping you in the dark", I say.

"No baby they won't", I say. "They're Mellark's and Mellark's doesn't hate anyone, except our evil mother, and she can _hate_ people".

Katniss giggles sadly. The door opens and my dad stands there with a big smile. Although when he sees Elyon, he's smile fades.

We walk in.

"Dad, this is mine and Katniss daughter Elyon", I say.

"Come again?" Dad asks shocked.

"How's that even _possible_?" I hear Damien's voice.

Everyone is standing in front of us now and Katniss buries her face into my arm, not wanting to face them right now.

I explain everything to everyone, but after I'm done they still seem shocked. Everyone but Tiara.

"She's cute", Tiara says walking up to me.

I lower down Elyon a bit so Tiara can see her better.

"She's my cousin?" She asks.

"Yeah Tiara, this is your little cousin Elyon", I say.

Tiara kisses Elyon on the forehead and everyone smiles.

"Tiara is right, this little girl is very cute", Adam says, reaching out his arms. "Can I?"

I nod and gives Elyon to him.

"Hello Elyon, I'm your uncle Adam, and I'm going to spoil you", he says and I laugh.

"Oh god, I hope Elyon's ego doesn't get the best of her when she grows up", Katniss says.

Yeah. "We'll just have to make sure that it doesn't", I tell her with both my arms around her.

I love my family so much. They're my everything. I don't know what I would've done without them.

I'm still so ashamed of how I treated them when Katniss left, and I will never be able to tell them how sorry I am enough times. I just don't know how I could behave like that and be the way I was towards my family and friends. I hope that they don't hold a grudge. I don't think they do, but I wouldn't judged them if they did.

We all sit down by the table to eat a delicious dinner made by my loving father. And I just feel how much I love each and everyone in this room.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

 _Katniss_

I've moved with Peeta in his apartment. Prim has my apartment where she lives with Rue. Delly found an apartment, it's in mine and Peeta's building. Johanna told me that she and Thresh are going to keep an eye open over Prim and Rue, and that lifted a stone from my chest.

Elyon's colic is getting better. She's letting me sleep more now during the nights. But Peeta takes her a lot during the nights too. It feels really good to have Peeta by my side. I don't know why I was so stupid to keep Peeta in the dark. He obviously doesn't feel the way I though he would. I don't think I've ever felt happier than I do now. It's like everything is falling into place. I love Peeta and Elyon so much. We're finally a family.

When I went to high school, I could never ever in my wildest fantasy imagine myself having a baby and be a family with Peeta, and to have Dally Cartwright as one of my best friends. It's really weird how life can turn out completely different from what you thought it would when you were younger. One can do one thing, or something can happen and everything is different forever. I like that I'm not the same geek I was in high school, but I'm not ashamed of who I was, just as I am happy of who I am now.

I'm currently lying in mine and Peeta's bed, watching _The secret life of the Americas teenager_ , on my laptop. I don't know why I love that series. A fifteen year old getting pregnant with a careless guy that later on turns out to be responsible one and the good guy totally flips out. And how your best friends can be your best friends and your greatest enemies. And how fast gossip can spread on a high school. How on tiny mistake can change lives of so many people. It sounds boring but it's actually good.

Peeta comes into the room. "And what is my beautiful doing?" He asks.

"Watching this", I say showing him.

"Why are you watching that?" He asks laying down beside me.

"Because I _like_ it", I say.

"They're crazy in that series", he says. "Everyone get together and breaks up, they get pregnant and get married and moves in with each other before they're even eighteen".

"Okay yeah I can admit that it sounds bad, but hey it's a good series", I laugh. "Did Haymitch leave yet?"

"Yeah he's taking Elyon out for ice cream", Peeta says.

"Aha so we're alone?" I ask.

"Yeah, so I don't understand why you have that thing still open", Peeta says kissing my neck.

I lean my head back and let out a small moan. "Because I'm a stupid, stupid girl", I say.

Peeta laughs and takes the laptop out of my lap and closes it. He puts it down on the floor and pulls me further down on the bed.

"So what do you want to do?" I ask. "Now when we're alone and all?"

"I think I have something in mind", he whispers.

"Oh you do, do you?" I whisper.

Peeta plants his lips onto mine. I put my hands onto Peeta's neck and pull him down over me.

He starts kissing my neck and that's my weak spot. I love it when he kisses my neck. "Mmmm Peeta..." I moan.

"Oh so you like that do you?" He asks.

"Noooo", I lie.

"Oh admit it, you want me so bad", he says, looking at me.

"Are you really _that_ sure?" I ask.

He lets his hand slide under my panties as he starts fingering and starts kissing my neck. I let out a moaning out of pleasure. "Oh yeah I'm sure", Peeta says winning.

"Oh shut up and kiss me", I say frustrated and pull him over me again.

Peeta places himself on top of me as I rip off his shirt. I start to pull down his pants as he start to rip off my dress. I'm left in my bra and panties and Peeta is left in his boxers. Peeta untie my bra and licks his lips when my breast gets visible for him. He starts sucking on the right one and massage the other one. It feels so nice and I can feel myself getting wetter and wetter.

Peeta kisses me between my breasts and down onto my stomach and then further down. He pulls down my soaked panties and throws them over his head and spread my legs apart, he kisses my vagina and before he starts to lick it. He put his tongue into my entrance and I put my hands onto his head, pulling his hair. _Oh my god!_ Peeta starts kissing my stomach again and then between my breasts and then my neck. I flip him over so he's now on his back. I kiss his neck and down onto his chest and further down onto his stomach and I pull down his boxers and throws them to the side.

I stroke his friend before putting it into my mouth. Hearing Peeta moan this loud is really turning me on and only makes me suck harder and faster.

"Katniss you have to stop, I'm gonna explode", he pants and I act fast because when I get his friend out of my mouth he's seamen sprays out.

I laugh and Peeta is trying to catch his breath.

I lay down beside him.

"Oh you _tired_ honey?" I tease him in a baby voice.

"You wish", he says as he lays on top of me and kisses me as he start to poke his friend into my entrance.

I put my legs around Peeta's waist has he pushes himself further into me. I love having Peeta inside of me. I love being a part of him because I love him so much it actually hurts when I think about it. It physically hurts when I think of how much I love my Peeta.

After a while Peeta falls down beside me, catching his breath. I lean my head onto Peeta's chest. "God I love you so much Peeta", I say and I actually cry as I say this.

"I love you so much", Peeta says. "Hey baby why are you crying?"

I look up at him. He looks concerned. "Because when I say I love you, I mean it so very much and it just physically hurts because I love you so much", I say.

Peeta doesn't say anything, he only wrap his arms around me and kisses my forehead.

"I love you more than I can _ever_ express in words", he says. "You and Elyon are my everything".

"And you are _our_ everything", I tell him as I snuggle into his embrace.

Suddenly I feel very tired and my eyes starts dropping. I feel how I'm starting to fall asleep against my will. But having a baby and be in an active relationship is pretty exhausting.

I'm now on my way to the world of dreams.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

 _Katniss_

Peeta has been behaving strange lately, it's been about six months since I came back and he met his daughter. He loves her so much, no one can be mistaken about that. But nowadays he seems a bit distant. I don't know what it is. He's thoughts always seem to be somewhere else.

"Maybe you're just mistaken", Annie says, cradling her three month old son Tobias.

"Maybe, but I don't know", I say. "Yesterday I was talking to him about going to see his father in the afternoon, and I got the answer that _he loves orange_. He hadn't even been _listening_ to what I had talked to him about".

"Okay, he's behaving strange", Madge says with a hand on her small baby bump.

"He really _is_ , and I can't put my finger on it, but I know he's hiding something", I say.

"Maybe..." Delly says thoughtfully. "Okay no I don't know, I'm totally lost".

I giggle. "So what do we now?" Johanna asks.

"Well we know that Peeta is distracted, considering he's and Katniss conversation yesterday", Annie points out.

"Yeah and we know that he's hiding something, otherwise he wouldn't be this distracted", Madge says.

"Yeah and earlier today I saw him walking up and down the street, that's why I came here now and not later", Delly says.

"Okay so he obviously has a hard time deciding something", Johanna says laughing.

"Okay but why?" I ask frustrated. " _Whyyyyy_?"

"Stop whining", Madge says.

Ugh. I don't know what to do. What is Peeta hiding from me? And _why_ is he hiding something from me? I want to know what's up, because this is really, really making me frustrated. I want to ask him, but I have a feeling he won't tell me the truth, because he is avoiding to look me in the eyes, he's distracted and he's hiding something. "I can't just ask him, he's going to come up with a lie", I say. "He's way too sneaky and too good of a lair".

"That's true, you're gonna have to be sneaky and trick him", Delly says devilish. "Trick him to tell you what he's up to".

"Oh I like what I'm hearing", Johanna says, suddenly very exited.

"Ooo yeah, you dress up really sexy and you know make him unable to lie, you know he _can't_ lie when he's nervous", Madge smiles evilly. "And he always becomes nervous when you dress _really_ sexy".

"Yeah, you trick him into thinking you want to have sex with him but what you really want, is to lurk him out the truth", Annie says sneaky nodding with a devilish smile.

Should I be worried that _all_ my friends are this evil? "Man I've _got_ to get new friends!" I say laughing. "You're evil".

And this is when we all burst out laughing. It's all so tragic that it's so laughable. We are seriously sitting here planning how I should seduce my boyfriend to get him to tell me something he's hiding from me. God I think I'm going to go crazy.

"Oh well, better get the plan in action", I say standing up.

Delly gives me Elyon and I put my baby girl onto my waist as I walk towards the front door.

"I'm gonna call you all later to tell you what I find out", I say.

"Oh you better!" Johanna shouts as I close the door.

I walk home, stopping by the bakery, where I find mr Mellark and Adam.

"There's grandpas little girl!" Mr Mellark says taking Elyon out of my arms.

"I thought you'd be with Peeta on his day off", Adam says, giving me a hug.

"Yeah I had to talk to my girls, Peeta is hiding something from me, do you know what that could be?" I ask him, jumping up on the counter as I take a cheese bun in my hands.

"No, are you sure he is?" Mr Mellark asks.

"Oh I'm sure", I say ripping a piece of the cheese bun and put it in my mouth.

I tell them about how Peeta is behaving and our little conversation yesterday. The orange part about the conversation makes Adam crack up and laugh so loud, that it makes Damien come out of the kitchen to find out what's going on. Adam tells his brother about mine and Peeta's conversation and he laughs as loud as his older brother.

I've finished my cheese bun so I take another one and start ripping that one. "I'm _so_ glad my misery amuses the two of you", I say.

They're trying to stop laughing and ends up chuckling. "I'm sorry Katniss, it's not funny at _all_ but I don't think it's anything to worry about", Adam says. "He loves you _so_ much".

"Yeah I guess, it's just frustrating to not be able to know what he's hiding", I sigh.

I love Peeta's brothers and father. I love them all so much. And it feels like they care about me and they care so much about Elyon. We get along so great and that makes me really happy.

I eat the last piece of the cheese bun and the jump off the counter. "I better get home now, Peeta will be wondering where I am", I say.

"Yeah I think you better", Damian says.

"Oh you know something!" I say as I spin around pointing at Damien. Something in Damien's voice told me that he knows exactly what's going on.

"Shoot", he murmurs.

"Nice work you dumbass!" Adam says and smacks his palm against Damien's head.

"Don't listen to those two dear, they're _crazy_ ", Mr Mellark says, placing Elyon in my arms. "Just go home to Peeta".

"Gee thanks, we love you too _father_ ", Adam says and I giggle.

Mr Mellark shakes his head with a chuckle and gives Elyon and me a warm hug. I give the three of them one last suspicious glance before I leave the bakery.

I hurry home because now I got really curious. They know about something. Maybe the girls also knew. Is that why they kept me talking? Is everyone keeping me in the dark? This has to be karma. I kept them in the dark and now they're all keeping _me_ in the dark. Serves me right to be honest.

I quickly press the code to our building and I basically run up the stairs with Elyon in my arms. I take up my keys and open the door. I hear music coming from inside the apartment and all of the lamps are off. "Peeta?" I shout. "Baby I'm home".

I get no response.

"Peeta?"

 _Where is he?_

I put Elyon down and she walks into her playroom. Not caring about the music or that it's pretty dark. "Peeta? Come on this isn't _funny_!" I say as I walk into the living room.

I stop in my moves when I enter the living room. There are roses spread out on the floor and candles lighting up the room.

Peeta is standing on his knees right in front of me.

"Peeta..." I start but he interrupts me.

"When we were in high school, I had the _biggest_ crush on you, and I tried to ask you out once. You ran away crying because you thought I was mocking you. When we met on our two separate vacations it was like the universe wanted to give me another change with you. I just _had_ to have you, I _had_ to make you mine, but now of course I didn't predict us ending up having sex there and you ending up pregnant. And when you left me, something broke inside of me and I was lost, I got lost in the world of depression, the thick black fog around me just surrounded me and wrapped me in its cold embrace, not letting me out. When you came back I was angry, angry of how easy you made it seem, leaving and then coming back like nothing had happened. After our talk I realized it wasn't easy for you. But during the time we spent apart, I never ever stopped thinking about you, not even for a second, and I _never_ stopped loving you", Peeta talks and I see tears threatening to spill out of his eyes. "God I love you so much, you and Elyon makes me _beyond_ happy, I never thought I could ever be this happy, not with my childhood reminding me of how my mother never cared for me, only now I'm realizing that, having you, having Elyon, gives me everything and more and I don't care about the fact that my mother doesn't care about me, you and Elyon are _everything_ I'll _ever_ need, you are my family, and Katniss you are my girlfriend, you are my friend, my best friend, the one I can talk to when I need to, you are the one who comforts me and who I want comfort from, you are my _life_ , so my question to you is; Katniss Everdeen, do you want to do me the greatest honor of marrying me?"

Peeta is crying now. He's looking at me, and I can feel myself almost drowning in my own tears. I fall down on my knees in front of Peeta. Taking his face between my hands. I look him so deeply into his eyes that I can feel myself being a part of them. "Nothing would make me happier Peeta", I cry. "Of course I want to marry you, I love you _so_ much".

Peeta takes me in his arms and pulls me even closer. I dry his tears with my thumbs. Still having his face between my hands. I lean in even closer and put my lips onto Peeta's. My tears still flowing.

When I pull away from the kiss, we just continue on sitting on the floor, hugging each other. I don't ever want to let go of my Peeta. And now I don't have to. Elyon comes up to us, sitting on the floor beside us. She's making some noises, trying to get our attention. Peeta takes her up in his arms and we continue the hug with our daughter. We're soon going to be a real family.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

 _Peeta_

Everything seems to be falling into place now. The bakery, Katniss and Elyon, everything. Finally.

I can't believe that Katniss and I are going to get married. We're not going to stress it, maybe in a few years we'll have the wedding.

About an hour after I proposed to Katniss she called the girls, and after all of them screaming for about half an hour, they told Katniss that they knew I was going to propose and Katniss got angry. Not angry for real, but girls will be girls. Apparently Katniss went to the bakery yesterday before coming home. I love her bond with my family, they really, really love her and that makes me so happy. When I told dad that I'm thinking about proposing to Katniss he got so happy and excited. He loves Katniss. Oh and he loves Elyon. Elyon loves him too, I can see that, those two has this special bond between each other. This grandfather/granddaughter bond. And it's warming my heart to see them together.

"Hey bro, what are you doing?" Finnick comes into the kitchen with Tobias in his arms.

"Dude this is no place for a _baby_ ", I say pointing at the warm ovens.

"It's not like I'm going to throw my son into one of them", Finnick laughs. "He's safe and sound in my arms".

"Oh I don't know about that exactly", I joke evilly.

Finnick gives me the evil eye. "Anyways, when are you off?" He asks, sitting down on the one and only stool in this kitchen.

"Um..." I say looking at the clock. "In about an hour, I'm gonna clean and wash everything after that I'm off, why?"

"Oh we all thought we'd go on a picnic dinner at the park, Katniss said she'd only go if you'll go, and she's afraid you'll be too tired when you get off work".

She's so cute. Yeah I guess I'm tired but I'd do anything for her, and if she wants to go on the picnic dinner, than that's what we'll do. "Count me in, I'm gonna take some good stuff from here", I say.

"Oooo take the delicious chocolate muffins, you know the once that it's dripping chocolate from once you've taken a bite", Finnick says licking his lips. "I can't eat enough of them, I don't know how you can make them sooooo good".

"Yeah I know and you'll get fat if you continue to eat them the way you do", I tease him, taking my apron off. "And I don't know how I do it, I'm just simply good at what I do".

"Yeah I'll say, I've grown up with you baking, and if I'm getting fat, I'm gonna blame you because it'll be _your_ fault", Finnick says standing up.

"How will it be my fault?" I argue.

"You bake too good!" Finnick shouts, storming out of the bakery.

I just laugh and continue the work I have left here. Oh Finnick. Once I'm done, I close the bakery and walk home with all the goodies.

"I'm home baby", I shout when I walk though the door.

"I'm in here", she says and I hear it coming from Elyon's room.

I walk to the kitchen to leave the goodies and then walk to Elyon's room. I see Katniss just now finishing dressing Elyon in an outfit that fits an evening outside. When I look at them together, I once again can not believe how lucky I am to have them in my life. To have them as my daughter and fiancé. Whenever I see them my heart flips and I get all warm out of love. I love them so much.

"Look Elyooon, look who's home", Katniss says with her mouth open as an 'o'. "Look it's daddy".

"How're my girls doing?" I ask, walking up to them, taking my baby girl in my arms and gives Katniss a kiss on her lips.

"We're doing really great, and even greater now when our man is home", Katniss says standing up. "We've missed you".

"And I've missed my girls", I say smiling big.

We get everything ready, Delly comes over, ready to leave. "Do you have everything?" Delly asks.

"I think so", I say.

"Food?"

"Check", I say.

"Goodies?"

"Check", Katniss says.

"Blankets?"

"Check", I say.

"Baby?"

"Check", I say, as I'm holding my baby.

"Dog?"

"Check", Katniss says.

Leyla barks happily and excited, just as she always does when she knows she'll get to go out.

"Oh I think she can answer for herself", Katniss laughs.

We all walk down to the park, where we meet everyone else. Leyla runs up to greet everyone. I swear she's the happiest and kindest dog I've met in my _entire_ life. Katniss really did a great job with her considering how she got her in the first place. I'm just sad. Leyla is a German Shepard, they don't live for a very long time, max ten years. We'll all be crushed when Leyla's time is up. But I'm not gonna think about that right now.

We all spread blankets on the grass preparing our picnic dinner. Everyone are talking and laughing. I look over at everyone. My friends, my fiancé, my daughter, my happy dog, who's now feasting on a big bone, and I just feel how I never want this to go away. How I want it all to just stay like this forever. We're getting older each day, every minute actually, so I'm gonna live for now. I'm not going to look back, and I won't look ahead, I will just concentrate on _now_. On the present, because that's what's important. The present.

I know we'll pass bumps on the road, but we will get over them, help each other. And that is what's important in life, friends, family, helping each other through every bad times, be there for one each other, no matter what. Life is just too short.


	36. Epilogue

Epilogue

 _Katniss_

I'm standing in front of a mirror. But who is the girl I'm looking at? It can't be _me_. The girl in the mirror is beautiful. She's wearing a long beauteous white dress with a long white bridal vail going from her head down her back and down on the floor. She has a tiara holding her veil steady and on place. She has makeup but not too much, her long dark hair is elegantly curled in beautiful curls, reaching down her shoulders.

I jerk when I hear a knock on the door. "Come in", I say, not able to take my eyes off myself in the mirror. In the mirror I see the door open and Haymitch comes in. Is it time already? I feel myself getting even more nervous.

"It's time", he says smiling at me.

"Already?" I ask nervously, turning around.

Haymitch nods at me. "I hope you're ready", he says as he takes my hand.

I hook my arm around his arm and we walk out of the room. I mean I _am_ ready. It's been three years since Peeta asked me to be his wife. We didn't feel like we were in a hurry. We had a lot to deal with, but now, three years later when everything is going so great, we knew it was time to get married.

Haymitch and I arrive beside my bridesmaids at the entrance to the hall in the church. Peeta is already in there. As are all the guests, since I am the bride and walk the isle with Haymitch who's giving me away. My maid of honor is Prim, and my braidsmaids are Annie, Madge, Delly and Johanna. Peeta's groomsmen are his dad, brothers, Gale and Finnick. My four year old daughter Elyon, seven year old Tiara and five year old Flynn are my flower girls and boy.

"There you are", Annie says.

"Have you told Peeta?" Madge asks.

I shake my head.

"I'm gonna during the reception though, I promise", I say.

"You better", Prim says. "You don't want to make the same mistake _twice_ ".

"I'm not gonna", I say but that's the last thing any of us can utter, becasue after that we hear the music start.

My braidsmaids hooks their arms around the arms of Peeta's groomsmen. The first once to walk out is Prim and Peeta's father. Then Adam and Delly, after them Damien and Johanna. Then we've got Annie and Finnick, and lastly Madge and Gale. After them, Thresh who carries the pillow with mine and Peeta's rings on.

A few seconds after Thresh, Tiara, Flynn and Elyon, raises their flower bouquets, which they hold with both their hands. Elyon walks last and she starts walkning slowly to the music and her light pink fluttery dress dances around her legs. She's tall and slim and her dark hair is reaching down her shoulders in elegant curls. Her eyes are glistening and a smile covers her pretty face.

"You ready sweetheart?" Haymitch asks, reaching me his arm.

"As ready as I'll ever be", I answer as I hook my arm through his again.

And so we start to walk down the isle. Haymitch keeps my arm in a steady grip around his, assuring me that he's not going to let me fall. My legs are shaky and weak becasue I'm so nervous, and I feel a bit sick. This is so scary. In a few minutes I am going to be a mrs and not a miss.

We slowly walk up to Peeta and the priest. "Who gives this woman to this man?" The priest asks.

"I do", Haymitch says, smiling as he puts my hand in Peeta's warm and big one. Now my hand is where it belongs, my hand is at its home now.

Peeta smiles at me and we turn towards the priest.

"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses, to join Katniss and Peeta in matrimony commended to be honorable among all; and therefore is not to be entered into lightly but reverently, passionately, lovingly and solemnly. Into this - these two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together - let them speak now or forever hold their peace". For a second I get very nervous and think that someone's going to speak up. But everyone remains silent and so the priest goes on. "Marrige, the word scares a lot of people, thinking that now everything will be different. A lot of things will not be different, but a few things in life will be, such as changing last name, why does everything have to be different from before? A couple gets married to celebrate with each other and with their friends and families, their love for each other, and that is what has brought us here today, this afternoon in this sunny summer month of July; Love. Love has brought these two people together", the priest says and I can feel in my bones how true this is. "Love. Love can be simple and it can be hard. But at moments like this, love is nothing but beautiful, these two people has brought you all here, because they want you all to witness their step into a new part of their love, they want to show you their love for each other and they want to share it with you, and I can feel in the atmosphere in this room, that there is nothing else but love surrounding us here today". Peeta and I glance at each other and smile. The priset is so right, did he come up with this all by himself? "We are now going to hear the vows", the priest says.

Peeta is first and I see Finnick hand him a note. Peeta takes it, unfolds it and tears it apart into million pieces. "Katniss, I've told you this so many times I've lost count, but for everyone else... I've known that I love you since we went to high school, since you first looked me into my eyes, since I first heard you sing. And the thought of that I couldn't make you mine hurt me deep into my soul", Peeta says and I can hear that he's fighting his tears. "But now we're standing here and I just can't believe we do, with our friends, our families... Our beautiful daughter, sharing this moment and I promise you that I will do everything for you, to make you feel loved and to alway be by your side no matter what, because I love you and nothing can or will ever change the fact that I do, and that's why I'm standing here today, in front of our friends and families".

I try to fight back my tears but I just can't. They flow down my eyes and Annie tries to pass me a note but I just wave it away. "Peeta... My sweet dear Peeta I-I love you so much and nothing can change that", I say. "After we finished high school I didn't see you for years and I got on with my life, but when two certain people dragged me away to Spain five years ago..." I make a pause, letting Annie and Madge know I'm talking about them. "I met you again. We were twenty, now we're twenty five and so much has happened these past five years, so much, but also my love for you has grown so much, and I promise you that from this day forward I will never ever lie to you and I will alway love and cherish you until the day I die".

Peeta is looking me so deeply into my eyes, drying my tears with his thumb.

"Do you Peeta Tobias Connor Mellark, take Katniss Elizabeth Beatrice Everdeen as your wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part?" The priest asks, turned towards Peeta.

"I do", Peeta says with so much certain in his voice that I don't doubt him even for one second, and I have to force myself not to smile like a big dork, which my face really want me to do right now.

"And do you Katniss Elizabeth Beatrice Everdeen, take Peeta Tobias Connor Mellark as your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part?" The priest asks turned to me.

"I do", I say, thinkining my voice will sound shaky, but to my surprise my voice is as steady as a rock, possibly even steadier.

"Now for the rings", the priest says and Thresh comes up to us with a pillow, on which the rings are on.

Peeta takes my ring, as he takes my left hand in his left and the ring in his right hand. "With this ring, I thee wed, and with it, I bestow upon thee all treasures of my mind, my heart and my hands", he says as he places the ring on my finger.

I take Peeta's ring and Thresh walks away. I take Peeta's left hand. "With this ring, I thee wed, and with it, I bestow upon thee all treasures of my mind, my heart and my hands", I say as I place the ring on his finger.

"I now, by the power vested in me by the State of Panem, I hereby pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride", the priest says.

I laugh because this is the moment I've been waiting for. To become Katniss Mellark. And to share my first kiss with Peeta as a married couple. Peeta places his hands on my waist and pulls me close as he leans in and plants his lips onto mine.

My lips move in sync with his and I love this kiss so much. But all too soon Peeta pulls away, and I know that it's because we now have an audience.

"Friends and family", the priest says a bit louder. "I present to you for the first time Peeta and Katniss Mellark!"

Hearing it makes me even happier than I thought I already was.

I look out over the people and see how they are all applauding, crying and smiling.

Can this day get any better?

* * *

We're in the middle of the wedding reception. Everyone are having so much fun. Currently I'm dancing with Victoria and Katie, both of them are pregnant but Victoria is seven months and Katie is only four months pregnant. I love them so much, they're so kind and sweet, and they really fit with Adam and Damien. Prim, Annie, Madge, Delly and Johanna are glancing at me all the time. Prim is currently dancing with Rory, but she won't let her eyes slide off me even for a second, and I know why. "Do it!" She mouths at me across the room.

I sigh. "What's the matter Katniss?" Katie asks.

"Oh nothing, I just realized I have something to do", I say. I see the microphone up on stage. We put it there because people wanted to be able to give speeches whenever they felt like it, and now I have to make a speech. I walk up on stage and towards the mic. "Um... Peeta?" The music suddenly stops and everyone turns their eyes towards me. I spot Peeta in the audience. He's standing with Tiara, Flynn and Elyon, it's obvious that he was dancing with them. My heart melts at the thought of Peeta dancing with the children, with he's niece, nephew and daughter. "I have something to tell you", I say. He looks concerned but nods, so I take that as a sign to go on. "I have to tell you this. You deserve to know", I say and take a deep breath. "I'm... Pregnant".

He's eyes grows ten times as big and everyone gives away sounds of surprises. Peeta carries up Elyon and dart up on the stage, putting her down. "What?" He asks me.

"I'm pregnant", I say.

"You are?" He asks, putting Elyon down onto the stage floor.

"I am", I say.

Peeta looks at my stomach and then on my face, looking after traces of lies. "Oh my god", he says, and tears fall down he's eyes.

"Yey! I'm getting a brother!" Elyon yells happily as she jumps up and down, her curly hair bouncing up and down.

"We don't know that Elyon", I laugh.

"Yes I _do_ know that!" She says and puts a small hand onto my stomach. "This is my little brother in there!"

Peeta carries her up with one arm and puts the other arm around me. Elyon puts her little hand onto Peeta's face and wipe his tears away. "Don't cry daddy, mommy is not sick", she says softly. "She'll be _okay_ daddy, I promise".

"I know everything will be okay Elyon", Peeta says, smiling. "How can it not be when I have my girls and another baby on the way?"

"So you're happy... About this baby?" I ask.

"I'm _beyond_ happy Katniss", he says. "You've blessed me with a beautiful daughter and now another baby, and I've got you that makes me beyond happy".

He gives me a kiss, a short one, since Elyon is here.

I hear applause and I just _now_ remember that we're standing on a stage and everyone's watching us. But I don't care. I want everyone to know how much Peeta and I love each other.

No matter our past it all has worked out. And everything will be okay. It always turns out okay somehow. And right now things are great. _Things are so great._

* * *

 **A/N: Okay so that was the end of this book. I really hope that you all enjoyed reading this book and will read more of my coming books.**

 **Thank you for reading.**


End file.
